Nik

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Do we have a natural born urge to improve ourself?
I like to think so. What do you think?
We humans carry around a very powerful computer which is running on software that is called 'Belief System'. I like to call the software 'BS 1.0'. Since we don't like to make mistakes, we constantly thrive to make ourself a bit more effective or efficient. So we alter our software by learning and developing.
Just like software, our BS 1.0 works with a set of rules. These rules form our paradigms, perspectives, values, culture, family, personality, identity (identities) and so. Until we are about 6 years old we don't have a lot of influence on how we write our software. Our sub-conscious minds were wide open and they absorbed every piece of information available from our parents, grand-parents, teachers and even from television. Now you probably understand why I like to call it B.S. 1.0. With the best intentions people taught us things that no longer apply. These lessons now limit us in using our full potential.
The danger of trying to learn to handle failure, lies in the fact that you need failure to do so. What if failure did not exist?
The trick in personal development is to change the right set of rules. To do so, we first have to become aware of what is going on in our minds. Become aware of our thoughts. Our beliefs determine our thoughts, our thoughts determine our choices, our choices determine our behavior, our behavior determines our life. So if you want to change (improve) your life, you have to change your beliefs. This is not as easy as it sounds, because some are very profound and our conscious mind does not like change, it likes to have us safe and our situation predictable. But this is also a belief!
A very powerful mantra is when you say to yourself: 'It's okay.' Try it now. Just repeat it a couple of times and you will feel better.
As a coach I like to help people change their deepest set of beliefs, so that they better learn to love themselves. I believe that we are all responsible for changing our own BS 1.0. We can not change other's.
I wrote this post to encourage people to keep on going. Keep improving yourself towards more self-love because you can only love another as much as you love yourself.
Let us change our judgements into amazement, understanding and gratitude.
Let's create a Beautiful System our new 'BS 2.0'.
Because we are all awesome.
Nik
 

Todd Hicks

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I agree with your post vastly. Without failure, we cannot become the best we can be, learn what to do when things don't go our way or empathize with others who are less successful. It's up to us to accept ourselves and embrace change.
 

Nik

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Thanks for your reply Todd.
Embrace change.
We have to become aware of the labeling process that is constantly active in our minds.
This is an (unaware) automated process, mostly based on beliefs that we needed as a child.
Only then we can take responsibility and start thinking as ourselves.
Then we can put our free will in action and decide to label things differently, or better said consciously.
If you decide to label more neutral, there will be much more free attention and peace in your mind.
This might not always be easy, I know.
But, as all skills, it becomes easier every time you use it.

PS: This is a skill I learned in the Avatar Course.
If anyone is interested; I can hook you up with a Trainer or Master in your own area.
 

Cynthia

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Good points. I've been studying various aspects of self improvement and personal development. One of the ten that I've chosen to pursue more is acceptance. Accepting where we are helps us in many ways, including to become more. Slowly, persistently and over a period of time.
 

Nik

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Jan 5, 2016
Messages
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Location
The Netherlands
You are right Cynthia. Accepting it as it is, could be a condition for happiness.
A lot of people struggle with acceptance though. They don't really know how to do that.
I think accepting it as it is, can only happen if you let go of your labels and judgements.
Actually, accepting it as it is, is probably nothing else but labeling something neutral.
The same goes for releasing emotions attached to it.
It's a pity we never learned to do this in school.
I hope some day personal growth or self improvement is a subject in our schools.