Why is it that I can't figure anything out myself?

psdev

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So I have been like this since I was a kid, I always needed help, I wasn't very smart as a child not even now but since I was 18 I have been improving. My family members could figure out stuff but I always needed help, stuff with logic and even common sense I really can have problems with. Now comes the part in the life actually the last few years where I need to figure out something myself and I can't and I have no idea why. I've lost so much time stuck in the rut of figuring things out and it's so frustrating not seeing any progress and not only that all the time that I've lost.

Like for example when I was working on a business idea I needed to pitch to bloggers to get a guest post and I had no idea how to do it until I hired a expert sort of a mentor, and told me what I was doing wrong. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have a clue still, why is it that I couldn't figure that out? I just can't figure that out, if that makes sense.

I also find everything lately is so complicated, just life in general. But then yet again I don't know if it's just me over complicating everything. I just want to know possible reasons why this could be. Thanks.
 

MoreSuccess

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It's a long shot but have you had your Thyroid levels checked? I believe you mentioned tiredness too in another post. Low Thyroid can cause tiredness and "brain fog" that is easily treatable with a daily pill This comes from personal experience with both symptoms and being discovered way too late late by a sharp doctor who didn't just write it off to "getting older".
 

Shelomo199

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I have a couple comments:

1. It is totally ok to have mentors and coaches to guide you. The smart person can also be the lazy person. Find a shortcut by getting mentors to help them because figuring stuff on our own takes a lot of time. Some of the most successful people don't try to figure stuff on their own. They have advisers from every field to tell them what to do.

2. If you have a lack of motivation, it can also mean you haven't found something you are truly passionate about. Even if it takes a long time to figure stuff out, it won't matter because you truly love what you are doing.

3. Don't be too hard on yourself, we are all winging life lol. Remember you are human. As long as you are putting your best foot forward and learn one new thing about what you are trying to do,
 

psdev

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It's a long shot but have you had your Thyroid levels checked? I believe you mentioned tiredness too in another post. Low Thyroid can cause tiredness and "brain fog" that is easily treatable with a daily pill This comes from personal experience with both symptoms and being discovered way too late late by a sharp doctor who didn't just write it off to "getting older".
I haven't. I am not getting that tired feeling really anymore so that's not currently an issue.
 

psdev

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I have a couple comments:

1. It is totally ok to have mentors and coaches to guide you. The smart person can also be the lazy person. Find a shortcut by getting mentors to help them because figuring stuff on our own takes a lot of time. Some of the most successful people don't try to figure stuff on their own. They have advisers from every field to tell them what to do.

2. If you have a lack of motivation, it can also mean you haven't found something you are truly passionate about. Even if it takes a long time to figure stuff out, it won't matter because you truly love what you are doing.

3. Don't be too hard on yourself, we are all winging life lol. Remember you are human. As long as you are putting your best foot forward and learn one new thing about what you are trying to do,
Thanks mate. I just want to know how other people figure it out more easily than others, the only thing I can think of is the way their brain is wired. Everyone's brain is wired differently, I believe this causes one person needing more help than another.

With the passion, I am definitely not passionate about what I am doing but it's a means to an end. Though I do have multiple passions but none which will pay the bills lol.
 
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I think that Shelomo199 had some great comments. I definitely believe that being passionate about what you do helps give you the confidence you need to go with your gut and figure things out. With that being said I think you've got it right to. Everyone's brain is wired differently.
I struggle with new concepts and new ideas frequently. To me it seems like everyone else just gets it and I struggle. What I have learned is I actually take the time to research and figure things out the right way. I may not be the first person done with something but I am comfortable with that because I know that I get it done better by spending the extra time.
I also agree that you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. It seems like you have been telling yourself since you were young that "things don't come easy to me" and when you tell yourself something over and over it tends to stick. You start to embody that thought and stop trusting your gut.
It may seem silly at first, but try rephrasing that thought when it pops into your head. Stop saying it doesn't come easy and say something like, "I know I can get this figured out." Retrain your brain to trust yourself, but some things will come easier to some people. That's just how it is. Best of Luck!
 

TP2019

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Hi, I've just joined and this is the first post that's struck a chord with me. As others have said, try not to be hard on yourself. Lots of people struggle with things; some people have just mastered the art of not showing it. We're all different people with different thought processes. I've had to work really hard to develop my own way of doing things. I'm not the type to consume huge amounts of information in one go. I like to take things in bite-sized chunks. I dissect the information and fit it all back together in a way that makes sense to me.

I really get you. I struggled in school when others would seemingly capture things pretty quickly. You have to appreciate that we all have our gifts and some people have been given that particular skill. I've known people who've never worked hard at studying and they aced every test.

One of the best things you can do is, on a piece of paper, draw a circle in the centre. In the circle, write down what you're trying to achieve. Then arrows leading away the circle to show the actions you need to take to achieve your goal. If you can't figure them all out, ask others. Don't feel bad for asking. Also, do some research. What have other people done to achieve similar things? Once you get the steps, keep a simple 'to do' list and tick the steps off as you achieve them. Keep at it and don't give up. Giving up is often the easy things to do. Sometimes you might need to step away from it and then come back with fresh eyes. Don't wear your brain out on it. You need your brain fresh and ready to process things. Work out the best time of day when you feel at your optimum and maximise that time on figuring things out. These are just some suggestions because you'll also find out what works for you. Be resilient, even if it doesn't work, that's fine, the best results often come from failure. I hope this helps and you're not alone. Keep going:)
 

denydritz

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I've lost so much time stuck in the rut of figuring things out and it's so frustrating not seeing any progress and not only that all the time that I've lost.
I want to comment on this specific part. It's OK to "lose time" figuring things out, because once you figure it out, you make a breakthrough in understanding. For example, Thomas Alva Edison didn't "lose time" figuring out light bulbs; once he understood it, it became a major breakthrough.

And you can never lose your understanding; it's impossible to go back to not understanding it (like if Edison went back to not knowing how to make a light bulb after he figured out how to make it).

Figuring things out is worth spending time on, even though it feels that you're not making progress. My mentor says that distance is not progress. Just because you are "standing still," it doesn't mean you're not making progress, especially if you are dedicating your mind to understanding and figuring things out.

When we don't understand something, and we get lucky making "progress," we can lose that progress someday, and then we become super frustrated that we don't know why. We feel we come back to square one and become even more confused than if we spent time figuring things out in the beginning.

I also agree with the other comments about working according to your passion (WHY you do what you do, not WHAT you do). Working expressing our passion can give us the fuel necessary to keep trying even though we feel that we're not making progress.