Why does this vicious cycle keep happening with me?

psdev

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When I keep thinking that I have broken it, it just keeps happening. Not sure what I am doing whether it's because I'm lazy, unsure, unconfident or what but for the past few years I have been experiencing this (my goal is to build a successful business but I have had this issue and still do with learning certain skills in business)

`Example: Work on my business by loading up Facebook ads ----> do a few things that I THINK I need to do (takes maybe 30 mins in total) -----> watch random videos on how to run Facebook ads because I am trying to figure out what I need to do (uncertainty immediately hits me and I don't know how to fill in my time) -----> Move onto SEO -----> search a video like "how to find content ideas" because I can't find any ----> watch the video for 30 seconds don't get the answer ----> onto the next video and repeat ----> get fustrated very quickly for not finding the answer ---> procrastinate for hours ----> start downloading mobile apps to try get me on track like a habit tracker ----> use it for a few days ----> tell my self that I am overcomplicating it then delete it ----> typically type something on Google like "The reason why you are having problems" or "stop looking for the answers" in attempt to find the fix that will fix my problems ----> then this whole cycle repeats again and again.

It's been happening for a while but I can't seem to break it. This is what my typical cycle looks like every day and now I am trying YET another trick to try and solve it such as detecting the problem when it arises and trying to solve it that way. For example, I would work on something like my Facebook ads get uncertain and get frustrated then stop myself there and think what the problem is but no luck. Lately, I have been doing self-reflection at night also in need to find a solution but it's still a vicious cycle.

I also get these moments where I want to buy a book to solve a problem I get motivated for a few seconds, but I've said to myself that I've done it before and won't accomplish anything by getting out of it. I guess I'm hoping to find the answers thereto.

Any advice would be awesome.
 

TabbyCat

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Howdy there!

Even though I'm new here, (And also by no means an expert on this stuff!) I thought I'd weigh in, because your process sounds very similar to mine! I'll get suuuper excited, finally start working on that blog/website/items I wanna start selling-

And then I'll get bored from having to do all that icky technical stuff that's in the way, or frustrated because there's so many steps, so many videos to watch, so that I can learn how to do it! (>__<)

So....I give up.

BUT- I think I've found something that legit HELPS! Writing your goals down for the day- the things that MUST get done, whether it be for your business, writing, or just daily life.

I bought a white-board so that I can do this (And save paper!)
 

MoreSuccess

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I think the frustration on things like this is normal. Sometimes best to just break away when that happens, come back to it later or the next day with a fresh mind. Take a walk and come back. Or try a really different approach. Like instead of Google, try searching Reddit. Or find a forum with active discussions on the topic. For example I used to browse https://www.warriorforum.com/ a lot to get fresh ideas for web marketing, although there is a lot of sketchy stuff there and needs caution. Or if you're really stuck,, post the issue on a forum or Reddit and hopefully someone will point you somewhere.
 

psdev

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Howdy there!

Even though I'm new here, (And also by no means an expert on this stuff!) I thought I'd weigh in, because your process sounds very similar to mine! I'll get suuuper excited, finally start working on that blog/website/items I wanna start selling-

And then I'll get bored from having to do all that icky technical stuff that's in the way, or frustrated because there's so many steps, so many videos to watch, so that I can learn how to do it! (>__<)

So....I give up.

BUT- I think I've found something that legit HELPS! Writing your goals down for the day- the things that MUST get done, whether it be for your business, writing, or just daily life.

I bought a white-board so that I can do this (And save paper!)
See the difference is that you KNOW what to do because you said "the things that must get done" I don't know what must be done for my goal. Right now I am feeling good I seem happy because I am taking action my mind is clear and I haven't had this problem but there is a 99.99% chance in my experience the problem will reoccur.
 

psdev

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I think the frustration on things like this is normal. Sometimes best to just break away when that happens, come back to it later or the next day with a fresh mind. Take a walk and come back. Or try a really different approach. Like instead of Google, try searching Reddit. Or find a forum with active discussions on the topic. For example I used to browse https://www.warriorforum.com/ a lot to get fresh ideas for web marketing, although there is a lot of sketchy stuff there and needs caution. Or if you're really stuck,, post the issue on a forum or Reddit and hopefully someone will point you somewhere.
Thanks, I agree with you on that. I find Google crap for information usually but going directly to a forum helps quite a bit.
 

denydritz

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I think here is your problem: get frustrated very quickly for not finding the answer.

What if it takes you several hours of learning, or more, to find the answer, but once you do find the answer, you know what to do with clear instructions? Would you do it?

I often see that people are attached to a result AND a process: they want to achieve something within a certain time limit that they determine themselves. It's a problem because the time limit is not a function of what we want or what we like, but what is according to the natural process.

An analogy is a pregnant woman who gets frustrated because she hasn't given birth after one month of being pregnant. Of course, in this case, we know the natural time limit necessary, whereas in your case, it's not clear.

What I would do is simply keep learning, watching the video, or whatever it is you do, until you find the answer, regardless of how long it takes, since you end up spending much more time by being frustrated anyway.

You could have found the answer already within the time limit you spend being frustrated and going in circles.
 

psdev

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I think here is your problem: get frustrated very quickly for not finding the answer.

What if it takes you several hours of learning, or more, to find the answer, but once you do find the answer, you know what to do with clear instructions? Would you do it?

I often see that people are attached to a result AND a process: they want to achieve something within a certain time limit that they determine themselves. It's a problem because the time limit is not a function of what we want or what we like, but what is according to the natural process.

An analogy is a pregnant woman who gets frustrated because she hasn't given birth after one month of being pregnant. Of course, in this case, we know the natural time limit necessary, whereas in your case, it's not clear.

What I would do is simply keep learning, watching the video, or whatever it is you do, until you find the answer, regardless of how long it takes, since you end up spending much more time by being frustrated anyway.

You could have found the answer already within the time limit you spend being frustrated and going in circles.
That is very true I do get frustrated quickly, I have for a while. The reason because the stuff I Google imo should be quick find. Thanks for your insight.
 

Isidor

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Aug 4, 2019
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Hi psderv,

I have to 100% agree with TabbyCat. I have historically run into this same problem and have recently as well, since I am overseas on a small military base so my fulltime schooling is completely online at home. This means I have to be disciplined :/ I look back to the time in my life that I was the most productive and happy and it was when I had two jobs and a super active social life!!! I realized it was because I had to be super disciplined with my time because I didn't have much of it...but it felt like I had a ton because of how I used it. Anyway, I have reapplied what I was doing then and have just planned my whole day thoroughly. My school day is my 'workday' so there are things I HAVE to do, no excuses, because it is my 'job,' just like any other job works.

Like you, I had tried a million apps, tips, and tricks which were laughably useless. Finally, I just started using Google Calendar and the app 'Sectograph' that works like a task-based clock on my phone. I LOVE it and it has trained me Pavlovian-style to obey it and move from task to task. It just boils down to discipline (most of all, unfortunately ;)) and putting things in perspective. Your job may be different than most jobs but it is your job, you really just have to put yourself in that mindset so it sticks.

*Do you have an accountability partner, or someone that could function as one, who can ask you if you have completed this or that? It sounds annoying, but if you have someone to report to or who will check on your progress, you may then feel obligated to keep on task.

Good Luck!

-Isidor
 

bijan amid

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Sep 18, 2019
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You have to set up a plan every day in order to accomplish certain tasks and obligate yourself to get it done .
 

WilltoPowerThrough

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Sep 21, 2019
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well look, first of all i think we are all here on the same page.
writing down your goals and stuff like this is a good advice but i dont think this is your problem. in fact i dont think you have any problems at all. it sounds like you are a regular guy that has regular guy problems like all of us. well i guess you are not that regular since you are trying to make it and you dont stop even though you are clearly very frustrated. but you keep going, which is allready good sign.
may i ask what is your business? how do you offer to help people? and how long are you doing this?
it sounds like you are doing eCommerce. is that right? is the main problem that you cant get your ads to work or is it something else?
sorry for all the questions, but i think they are important so we can help you :)