Who Is To Blame??

Ken Munro

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Apr 11, 2012
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Are people totally responsible for their own failings?
People are told that they are the authors of their own misery. If they just changed their attitude, exercised a little will power, they can have anything their hearts desire. Nobody is responsible for their success but themselves.
But so many factors determine one’s success. Hard work, determination, persistence.....Yes. But often lady luck and chance play a part. People can work their tails off but success can still be fleeing.
There are people who DO need a helping hand. They have become a product of their environment. If all you have learned is a foreign language, how are you to learn English? If all you have learned is being exposed to abusiveness, belittling, condemning, how are you to feel positive about yourself?
Can people wrestle any negative emotion to the ground by changing their attitudes?
If people could, we, as a society, could resolve homelessness, mental illnesses, suicide, and any other anti social behaviours under the sun.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
One of the most profound statements that I came across comes from French writer Victor Hugo in his play “Les Miserables”. “If the soul is left in darkness, sins will be committed. The guilty one is not he who commits the sin but the one who causes the darkness.”
Do we create that darkness that allows one to commit sin? Or, more specifically, do we create an environment where people have no choice but to doubt their own abilities, sabotage their God given talents and gifts?
Do we create surroundings that don’t challenge people to reach their full potential?
Are we listening, empathizing to the cries of the hurting? Are we walking in their shoes, feeling their pain? Or are we giving the hurting the help that has worked for us not aware that the help we offer may not work for others as it has worked for us?
Are we practising the principles of the Golden Rule “treat others as you like to be treated.” Or my favourite - Taoism’s interpretation: “Treat your neighbour’s gain as your gain; your neighbour’s loss as your loss.”
Are we creating the darkness by seeing those that cross our paths as “objects” rather than “subjects”? Or what Jewish writer Martin Buber labelled “I-Thou” relationship?
Most of us see people what they do for us as an object. We take no interest in their well being. But if we really care, we should see that person as a subject, a human being with feelings, pains. We are concerned with his/her welfare.
Are we creating the darkness by doing nothing? When we see someone hurting, suffering, do we turn a blind eye and walk away? But don’t we do the same, don’t we create the darkness when we feel no accountability to our fellow person allowing his pain and frustration to continue. We refuse to help him meet his needs, helping him find purpose, a mission.
Intentions mean nothing unless put into practise.
Yes, there are those who are the authors of their own misery. They are their own worst enemy.
But there are people who cannot get it together. And no fault of their own. Those that cannot understand this, have a greater handicap than those who suffer.
 

matthewebbert

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Mar 20, 2013
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People are told that they are the authors of their own misery. If they just changed their attitude, exercised a little will power, they can have anything their hearts desire. Nobody is responsible for their success but themselves.
Totally agree with you great thoughts..
 

live4it

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May 15, 2013
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I think our lives are results of the decisions we make. Unfortunately some people are born into an environment which seems to doom them to failure, which, yes, makes it harder to make the right decisions and create opportunity, but not impossible. Most people have heard the saying "where there is a will there is a way". I have no idea where that quote originated from, but i always think of that. When it comes down to it we are responsible for our own decisions. I also believe the quote. If you try, you may fail, but if you don't try you are guaranteed to fail. We must be able to adapt out lives according to the decisions we are faced to make because god knows, life does not always take the path we hoped for.
 

Jerry

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Ahh I love this post. It raises a legit question and I think you offers some good insight.

I agree with what you said about success. So many factors go into if a person is successful or not that no one person is 100% responsible for their success or failures in life. BUT (and this is a big but) failure and misery are not interchangeable terms, just like success and happiness are not interchangeable. Just because a person is what we may call a "failure" doesn't mean that they're doomed to misery. For one, they may have a completely different view of success than us, so those who are deemed as failures may be fully satisfied with their lives.

Secondly, failure is a circumstance while misery is a mindset. While failure may be a contributing factor to someone's misery, whether or not someone is miserable or nto relies on their mindset. To say that misery dooms you to failure is like saying being successful guarantees happiness. We can name a ton of celebrities off the top of our heads who were highly successful in their fields who lived completely miserable lives. Likewise, we can find people in the worst circumstances who can find a way to make the best out of their circumstances and enjoy and be happy with their lives.

This article intrigued me so much that I decided to write a full article on my site about it.Check it out if you're interested. The link is http://manhooddevelopment.siterubix.com/do-we-control-our-misery. But yeah, I liked this post a lot - it really got me thinking.
 

Dreek Lass

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Apr 17, 2013
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Whilst I thoroughly agree with the notion that we mold the clay of reality with our emotions, you must understand that our emotions can be manipulate in a variety of different ways. A simple way to manipulate emotions is music or television, but there are definitely more sinister forms of emotional manipulation at play in this reality, and this ensures that people stay in the frequency that is needed of them in order for the control and manipulation to continue.

I do think that our emotions are responsible for what we manifest, but I think that that is not the ONLY thing at play here. There is more and ther is also manipulation of those emotions and that more.
 

TheCloud

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Mar 8, 2014
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I don't like to act according to people's pain. I prefer to act according to their possibilities. That's why I get in trouble when there's a death in the family and all people want to do is cry and be miserable. I tried the crying and misery thing, and it doesn't go anywhere.

So who is to blame? There's always someone. No one suffers because they want to, there's always an instigator. But instigators are often boring and thoughtless, becoming irrelevant once they are identified and held accountable. Usually, perhaps often, perhaps mostly, they are impervious to change, living in a closed loop where they and their self-reinforcing fantasies are on the inside and everyone else is on the outside. As such, they are oblivious to the nature of the harm they cause, and there is little to be done for or about a willfully oblivious person beyond leaving them.

But that's where the possibilities lie for the people who leave their instigators behind. Once you stop living as a character in someone else's dysfunctional story, it's possible to live your own life no matter who you are. "When" only matters to people in chains; free people don't think about when because they have freedom NOW. So the more you worry about when, the less like a free person you make yourself. A free person can be anyone; slavery is possible only in the absence of self-awareness. A self-aware free person has as many possibilities as anyone.

Granted, there are those with more brains or muscle or money, but outside poverty-stricken war-zones there is happiness to be found for everyone. A poor man can become rich, just as a rich man can become poor. More importantly, anyone can help someone else, and for people reading this resources likely abound. That's as much as anyone can hope for, no matter how they are born; to lead a meaningful and compassionate life. Much success will not grant a person that, nor will much failure bar it. Oskar Shindler of WWII fame failed at every personal venture he made, but he saved over 1000 Jewish lives. I cannot say whether he died happy, but he could have, and anyone else can to. A person enslaved by wealth and good circumstances will find many problems. A truly free person, regardless of trials or circumstances, can find no reason to complain.

So if you ask me who is to blame, I will say that it only matters until they are known, and ceases to matter once they are forgotten.
 

Cole Erispe-O'Connor

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Feb 25, 2014
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Ultimately, there can only be one person responsible for there surroundings. It depends on what you believe in, if we're to look at it from a spiritual stand point. Then you're 100% responsible for your outer circumstance, as James Allen quotes, A persons outer conditions will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state. It makes sense, if you think about it. The person only becomes the victim once they believe it to be so. However ultimately it will be the person who breaks free. However it is no ones fault as they were unaware this is the case, but it is their responsibility. It's not about simply changing their once negative thoughts into positive ones. But it's about changing their state, beliefs and who they are. Once the decision is made, and they commit fully to it, the right people and opportunities will show itself like magic. And when they show action is then meant to be taken.

As a human being you have every right to react to every situation, although 100% responsibility for everything sounds daunting, it only means that 100% of the power belongs to you to have an amazing life.

It's a deep topic and depends on your views but hope I helped a little!

Cole
 

Access Your Brain

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Mar 26, 2014
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The answer to the question 'are we all responsible for our failings' is both "yes" and "no." I would be inclined to say that we are all masters of our destiny even if we are in the environment, which is not beneficial for our self-growth. This 'argument' that environment did not enable us to grow or develop ourselves into a person we dreamed about may be abused by presenting it as an excuse. History knows many cases when people from abusive environments and misery made their way to happiness, abundance and ultimate success so the 'environment' is no question and cannot be brought as an excuse here. The other thing is that all of us at some point in our life need help. Just think of some turning points of your life when there was always somebody or something which helped you to pass through challenges and make a major breakthrough. I totally agree we as a society and as an individual should help those in need, make their lives better and make them realize that they can overcome the challenges they face at that moment. I feel the idea of being 'a master of your destiny' is oftentimes used by people to encourage and empower those who are down. At least for me the realization that I own and control my life makes me feel stronger. Overall, I believe you have to take 100% responsibility for anything in your life. This approach eliminates component of "blame" whatsoever.
 

Olga Kostrova

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Apr 16, 2014
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You ask: "Are people totally responsible for their own failings?"
First of all, there is no such thing as "failure", unless we label it such. Everything is just an outcome, and we label it "good" / "bad" etc.
You say: "People are told that they are the authors of their own misery."
That's 100% true. Our experience of things has nothing to do with objective events. No, we often are not fully responsible to what happens (loved one dies or get sick, we get abused as children etc. etc.). BUT, we are responsible for how we perceive those events, what conscious or more often unconscious decision we make to be miserable and spread misery around us.
Suffering is a choice, despite whether the world goes round. It's a choice and it's optional.