What do I want to do in my life?

Kappa

New Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2015
Messages
1
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3
I still don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I currently work as Bartender. The job is alright, I kinda like it. It can be cool if done in the right way. You meet lot of people, chat a lot, f*** a lot, and you can even develop a sort of real passion for spirits, cocktails and all the related stuff.

However, working 48 hours per week for a not-so-good salary is not that great. Working for people who make billions thanks to your hard work is not that great, especially when they''re not grateful at all and they expect always more from you, even though your ass sweats 25 hours per day.

Owning a bar. That would be good. But I can't even try to imagine where I could find all the funds I'd need to do something like that.

The truth is that I had enough to work for people. I've been working hard since I was 15. I'm 21 now, and I'm already fed up with all this s**t.
I need to understand what I do really like to do, what I do really wnat to do, and go trhough that way.

Did you guys manage to do that? Do you like your job? Do you feel satisfied at the end of your shifts?
 
L

LolaRoge

Guest
It's not too easy - finding your real place under the Sun.
The respected philosopher Alan Watts said that the best way to find what you should be doing with your life was to ask yourself this important question: "What would you do if money were no object?" What if you won the lottery and you could do whatever you wanted to do with your life? Sure, you'd want to relax for a while, but eventually you're going to get bored. So what would you do to make yourself really, truly happy?
I've found myself in publishing, but turns out that fast typing skills are necessary not only for communication in social networks, recently took a job at a publishing office, boss is extremely demanding, do not have any time. The Internet helps me. I began to read interesting articles
[advertising removed by admin]
 
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Barry K

Coaching Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2015
Messages
19
Points
62
Location
New Zealand
Start on the road to re-educating yourself. Why?

It was in school that we learned to be a good employee, that if you work hard you can succeed.

It's also the reason most people get a good job, work long hours and just earn enough money to survive.

We've been taught how to survive - not live!

So where to start? Books are old school but still one of the best ways to open the mind. I read anything and everything daily and have so for a number of years.

What would I recommend?

I started with Rich Dad Poor Dad Robert Kiyosaki.

This guy was brilliant for setting the scene on a different way of thinking.

If you haven't read it - It's a great place to start.

Hope this helps! :)

 
Joined
Sep 26, 2015
Messages
6
Points
5
Location
Manila, Philippines
Here is the thing brother, the REAL question is What do you really want? Be specific! As if you are already seeing it, feeling it, hearing it, and touching it. Then have a date when you want to have that kind of thing that you want.

What makes the this question a reality? Break your ultimate goal into plans. What things and activities require your dream? Then set a date also in which you gather all the data that you need to have your dream

Then the most critical: implement! Faith (not religiously speaking) even if you fail at first and the second, you are still believing that your dream is possible! It is not over until you win! Failures are not the end, they are inputs to the over-all process. You see, failure is when you failed to learn from your failure!

Face it, life is not a bed of roses but a journey to success which includes learning (Overcoming pain, fear, and others)

Live full brother!
--- Live FULL, DIE Empty!
 

Erik913

Advisor Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2015
Messages
16
Points
30
1. Define your top 5 values in life. What is it? Family? Happiness? Laughter? Peace? Love? ...
2. Write a list of 10 things you already tried in your life and loved doing. Whatever it was, really. Swimming? A sport? Computer games? Writing? Seriously, anything.
3. The 10,000 hours rule. Deal with the fact that you will need to put at least 10,000 hours into something to master it. Want to own a bar? Sure, but again - 10 thousand hours of studying, working, improving, saving, planning. Want to be a football player? Sure. But how do you want to be world class if you haven't put enough time into it?
4. Never think about money. Start small, with what you have right now in this very moment. Maybe you are not able to open a bar right away, but if the bar you're working in right now would be yours, what would you change? How would you improve it? If you find a way to make more money for your employer, surely he will be grateful and will give you a raise at the very least. Be innovative. Be a creator. (Note: don't think stuff like "I would give my employees a bigger salary" - you're not the boss right now. Think of what you can change.)
5. Have a life-purpose. Your long term goal. This has to be something bigger than yourself. Your life-purpose or a long-term goal (that is, a goal you will achieve in 10, 20 or even 50 years) cannot be something like "I want to own a bar". It has to be much bigger, greater. "I want to own a network of bars over half of the state I'm currently living in" would be a really good one.
6. Set short-term goals. Connecting to the 4. point, think like "By the end of this year, I will find a way how to increase profits of this bar by 10%". I'm sure you can come up with a lot of ways, not just one. Let's just say, hypothetically, that you would make this a habit. Every 3 months, you would increase the profits of the bar you're working in by 10% and it would be obvious to your employer that it's because of you. Where do you think you would be in 2 years? Owning one bar, at the very least. Finances are never a problem. As Jack Sparrow said, "The problem is not the problem. The problem is how you think of the problem." There's always a way around money - you are just not aware of it. Yet.
7. Sacrifice everything. Including your free time, friends, your entire life. If you won't, how do you think you can compete with someone who will? That's how you conquer the world.
8. Learn to Know Thyself along the way. An old proverb says "Know Thyself" and you should really do that. Study your mind. Study your emotions. Do self-development. Read books. Isolate yourself from the world. That's the only way of actually becoming what you want to be. Of course, "never give up" and "you can do this", that's all true. You still need to see the big picture though.
9. Love what you do. If you won't, you will quit - because it will be so insanely hard that if you just don't love your work, you won't be able to put up with the every-day grind.

Hope this helps. Good luck. :)

By the way, I recommend checking out actualized.org as well . Leo knows what he's talking about.
 

Priggish

New Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2015
Messages
1
Points
1
I think you are speaking for so many people! It’s good that you are figuring this out now versus 30 years from now. Entrepreneurs are the ones who rule this rule. You just described them – those making a living themselves, those that have others work for them (nothing wrong that by the way, someone has to do it…good thing there are many people who are comfortable with it). You are on the right path mentally. You need to figure out what you are good at, what you wouldn’t mind getting up everyday and doing. Figure out how you can create value for others doing exactly what it is you want to do. I help people do exactly what you are trying to do – figure s*** out and do things your way. Couple things you need to accept: you have all that you need right now to do whatever it is you desire to do. Your job is not to worry about how you will get the funds, how you will meet the right people, etc. Your job is know what it is you want to do, believe that it will happen and take action on it. Everything else will fall into place. This is exactly how it happened for me. When I started to worry about HOW I was going to get this and that, things fell apart. But once I gave control to God, focused on other people and took action, things started to change. You can do this! Message me anytime.
 

kathyjoyce

Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2015
Messages
30
Points
10
Try and work out a plan of action that will get you to your goal of owning a bar. What skills do you have that you use to build an income part time? Sounds like you have good people skills as you work in a bar. But before you even do that I would suggest writing down all the things you enjoy doing, and areas that have your greatest strengths. Brainstorm ideas and come up with as many ideas to create money with this list as you can. You have to decide on something that fills you with passion, and excitement. Once you know what it is you really want to, then create a plan to get there.
 

mehdyy

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2015
Messages
6
Points
5
It's not too easy - finding your real place under the Sun.
The respected philosopher Alan Watts said that the best way to find what you should be doing with your life was to ask yourself this important question: "What would you do if money were no object?" What if you won the lottery and you could do whatever you wanted to do with your life? Sure, you'd want to relax for a while, but eventually you're going to get bored. So what would you do to make yourself really, truly happy?
I've found myself in publishing, but turns out that fast typing skills are necessary not only for communication in social networks, recently took a job at a publishing office, boss is extremely demanding, do not have any time. The Internet helps me. I began to read interesting articles
“how to improve the typing speed”, here are some of them
http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/faster-keyboard-typing/
http://www.ratatype.com/learn/
Now working on it, noticeable a little progress ^^))
check my results here http://www.ratatype.com/typing-test/
Really a good one, "What would you do if money were no object"
i saw that question more often, but till is a good reminder, it really helps do to know what you are wanting do do in life.
Thank you for the Reminder LolaRoge!
 

allanrsm

Coaching Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2015
Messages
68
Points
62
I still don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I currently work as Bartender. The job is alright, I kinda like it. It can be cool if done in the right way. You meet lot of people, chat a lot, f*** a lot, and you can even develop a sort of real passion for spirits, cocktails and all the related stuff.

However, working 48 hours per week for a not-so-good salary is not that great. Working for people who make billions thanks to your hard work is not that great, especially when they''re not grateful at all and they expect always more from you, even though your ass sweats 25 hours per day.

Owning a bar. That would be good. But I can't even try to imagine where I could find all the funds I'd need to do something like that.

The truth is that I had enough to work for people. I've been working hard since I was 15. I'm 21 now, and I'm already fed up with all this s**t.
I need to understand what I do really like to do, what I do really wnat to do, and go trhough that way.

Did you guys manage to do that? Do you like your job? Do you feel satisfied at the end of your shifts?
The most substantial move you can make to shift yourself to where you want to be is to be specific about the end result/goal/life you want to have and how you want to live it!

When you are able to detail the specifics mentally and get emotionally involved with what you want then you will be able to start forging a path towards what you want!

A major part of my life was when I made the decision to commit myself entirely to the goal and life that I want...as just like you I decided to live a life that would be more productive, happier, fulfilling and beneficial to my family and myself!
 

Cynthia

Senior Advisor
Joined
Oct 6, 2015
Messages
309
Points
215
Location
USA
You say that you like what you're doing, that it's cool when done in the right way, that owning a bar might be your direction.

I'd suggest jottting down a note after each shift, about what was cool -- what was the right way that day.

Because you'll find yourself getting better at what you do and opening yourself to conversations with people who might fund a bar done your way.

And because you'll start to figure out what people care about, and get closer to being able to come up with a business plan.

I have a friend who's working on a business plan for a bar done his way -- he's a business owner already but wants to open a bar! So I know from talking to him that there's a lot of upfront work that you can do now. Including coming up with a theme and beginning marketing online by establishing a presence in social media.

If you start actually working on it, visualizing what you'd want it to be, you'll start noticing ways to make it happen.

One step at a time. Do what you can do today. Each today!
 

LVEnglish

New Member
Joined
Jan 13, 2016
Messages
3
Points
1
Hey, Kappa! First, Congratulations! You're 21 years old, and you are seeking advice - wow, I wish I was that smart at 21. You also have some great skills under your belt; committed work ethic and while you're tending bar, you get to serve and speak with some brilliant people.

People are going to give you a lot of advice; the truth is most people haven't figured out the answer to your question.

I suggest you first start with getting your mind ready to absorb the information you need to make key decisions for your future.

Start with listening to and reading the late great Jim Rohn. Why? Well, first of all, any successful person has read and knows of Jim Rohn. Validate this by asking those millionaires you serve in the bar.

Now, once you have read his books as a first step (I prefer audio books) Check back in with us and tell us what you're thinking.

Good Luck!
 

Samantha

Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2016
Messages
16
Points
10
Couple of things you really need to consider, first obviously what makes you happy and what are your life values, as someone else mentioned. But you also need to consider what you are naturally good at.

Let me give you a good example, whichever hand is your dominant hand, use that and sign your name 5 times. Then switch hands and do it with the other hand. Basic concept but I'm sure you noticed the enormous difference, not just with the quality of what you produced with the hand with which it was natural for you, but also the time it took to complete. That is the same concept when it comes to each of us and natural abilities and skills. While you can most definitely manage tasks at a job that you are not that adept at, over time the amount of happiness and success you feel in accomplishing those tasks and your ability to truly succeed will be limited in light of what you are natural at. Because of this, especially where you are now at the crossroads, it's an excellent time for you to take a strength finder test such as the Gallup Test (if you go on their site they'll have a link to one that shows just your top 5 strengths and one where you can get your full list) But studies have shown, if you as an individual or your coach, or your employer identifies your strengths and nourishes them your success will be unlimited. If someone tries to polish those things which (we won't call them weaknesses) but which you are less adept at, the best you'll be able to do with those is be mediocre. So focus first on identifying your strengths, then figure out what you want to do with your life that will enable you to use those.

I do offer mentoring and consulting sessions, however, given that I am still a new member here I am refraining from promoting them, but if you'd like to reach out for a personal session, I'd be happy to give you the contact information. Otherwise, good luck on your quest!
 

Todd Hicks

Senior Advisor
Joined
Dec 3, 2014
Messages
503
Points
217
Location
St. Louis, Missouri
Couple of things you really need to consider, first obviously what makes you happy and what are your life values, as someone else mentioned. But you also need to consider what you are naturally good at.

Let me give you a good example, whichever hand is your dominant hand, use that and sign your name 5 times. Then switch hands and do it with the other hand. Basic concept but I'm sure you noticed the enormous difference, not just with the quality of what you produced with the hand with which it was natural for you, but also the time it took to complete. That is the same concept when it comes to each of us and natural abilities and skills. While you can most definitely manage tasks at a job that you are not that adept at, over time the amount of happiness and success you feel in accomplishing those tasks and your ability to truly succeed will be limited in light of what you are natural at. Because of this, especially where you are now at the crossroads, it's an excellent time for you to take a strength finder test such as the Gallup Test (if you go on their site they'll have a link to one that shows just your top 5 strengths and one where you can get your full list) But studies have shown, if you as an individual or your coach, or your employer identifies your strengths and nourishes them your success will be unlimited. If someone tries to polish those things which (we won't call them weaknesses) but which you are less adept at, the best you'll be able to do with those is be mediocre. So focus first on identifying your strengths, then figure out what you want to do with your life that will enable you to use those.

I do offer mentoring and consulting sessions, however, given that I am still a new member here I am refraining from promoting them, but if you'd like to reach out for a personal session, I'd be happy to give you the contact information. Otherwise, good luck on your quest!
You can make it easy for others to get your help without being overly promotional by listing your contact information or website URLs in your signature.