The relationship With Yourself is Most Important.

Danielki

Coaching Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2015
Messages
66
Points
82
Location
Norwich, UK
When I think about love I think about how people put up with cheap alternatives. Sex is mistaken for intimacy, which of course when coupled with a lasting relationship it can be but without it can be like two ships passing in the night.

Why do people put up with cheap alternatives?

Because they're quicker and we've been conditioned to believe that time is of the essence but through various distractions we've been pushed further and further from living in the moment.

I think our perception of time changes the way we live our lives. If we believe we live then die and things are very linear then of course we don't have time to waste, people even brag about this with phrases like 'I'm not getting any younger'.

But if you believe there's the possibility that there's something beyond our life here, something eternal then time is no longer an issue and our change of perspective changes the way we live our lives.
 

Don

Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
5
Points
5
I fully agree- the relationship with yourself is the most important, for many reasons. One is that you will be with that person 24/7 for life, and if that person is your true friend, you are always in good hands. If that person is your enemy- you live in constant peril. Too often we are our own worst enemies, and that isn't necessary.

Most people feel a void inside, an emptyness like they weren't whole or weren't OK- and won't be until that void is filled. They search inside for answers but find none, and are convinced that they must somehow fill the void from the outside- often expecting love to do it. That seems to work for a while, but it's only a patch, a dependency. The real answer to filling that void is inside us, and remains invisible until we develop the ability to see it.

A complete person no longer has that void, and the need to fill it no longer dominates their feelings. A wonderful thing happens then- they find that not only can they fill all their own needs from the inside, but now they have an overflow.... the pit has become a well or spring of things they can give away with no feelings of loss, because there are more than they can use or hold anyway. The ability to genuinely Love has arrived, both for yourself and for others. Along with it comes an identity, knowing exactly who you are, liking and loving who you are... SO your self image has also arrived, along with self-respect and all the power over life you will ever need. Compassion, strength and confidence, so many things it's hard to believe it's you- sort of a re-birth in a better world. While this sounds impossible to someone whose search has been long and fruitless, it is there inside every one of us. The ability to do this, to have this, is there now- just locked away.

I used to explain it to my students this way: You are sitting at the table of life, with a jigsaw puzzle on it. It is the puzzle of how life works, and we are all trying to solve it. Even as small children, people come by your table and throw more parts on it. They say, “These are important, pay attention! And so the number of parts on your table grows, and the solution seems impossible. The truth is the puzzle is very simple and easy to solve- and there are very few pieces. But the real pieces are buried under the load of trash that has been being dumped on your table all your life, and those are things that actually have nothing to do with the real picture. To solve the puzzle, the first step is to learn how to throw out the trash. Even that is easy, if you know how. Little we do is more important or valuable than this.
 
Last edited:

Hubert Koh

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2016
Messages
114
Points
140
I think the idea of self-love is truly understated. If you dont even love yourself, how can you extend your love to include others?
 

Pratima

Coaching Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2016
Messages
27
Points
62
Very nice post.

Sometimes people don't pay attention on themselves, their wishes & needs. They are always available for others in need and ready to do anything for the family. It is good but I think one should give importance to themselves & do what they like and fulfill their wishes. They should start loving themselves first and then shower their love to others. Then they will be more happy and satisfied. This will in return result into spreading more unconditional love to the whole world and the universe. Spread unconditional love.
 

Best_Catcher2016

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2016
Messages
104
Points
100
Location
philippines

brokenblade

Coaching Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2013
Messages
37
Points
57
Location
Phoenix
I also believe that your relationship with yourself if more important than any relationship with another human being. If you are constantly at war with yourself, it is going to spill over into your other relationships. That has been my experience. If you can't stand yourself, it is going to be really hard for you to accept that someone cares for you.
 

Ally Mckean

Coaching Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2016
Messages
29
Points
57
I totally agree, Coach Roberson!
For me, continuous personal development, I mean daily work on myself has filled me up to overflowing! And my previous high is now my new low. If I feel myself feeling a bit low or doubtful I can immerse myself in that overflowing pool of self-love, it's like a permanent spring.
I think your message is one for everybody!