Taking risks with a lot to loose

Lish

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#1
In my journey of self-growth, I have recently been struck with a large amount of fear and anxiety to continue.

I have always been a huge risk-taker - an adventurer at heart. When I left home I moved to an entire new continent where I knew nobody, and have since then moved countries a couple of times. I did this to explore myself, and to challenge myself to create a life for myself that I would love, even though it was difficult at times. But now I have found that I am more afraid of change than ever before - even change that may lead to my self-improvement.

A friend recently pointed out that it might be because I now have a lot to loose. Similar to how one is less likely to gamble their on money if they have more of it. For the first time, I have been living in the same place for a few years and feel established. I have a solid group of friends, a serious long-term relationship, and a routine here.

The problem is, that this has killed my curiosity. I do not feel that I have reached my full personal or spiritual potential, not by a long shot, but now the thought of moving, meeting new people, trying new things, and being spontaneous scares me. Even irrational fears - my friends meeting someone else, taking new courses, etc. This is in opposition to the life I want to have - I want to enjoy all those things and never stop growing.
Either way, I will have to move within the next year, as I am just a student here for now, and will move away from University.

My questions is: How can I appreciate what I have, while also not being so afraid to accept change and growth? I do not want to be stuck in one place mentally. I do not want to fear everything around me, and see everyone and everything as a threat.
 
Joined
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#2
Dear Friend,

At start, i would like to apologize , may be i am not able to understand your true feelings. But this is what i found.

In flowery words of "accept change, growth,curiosity" etc, are you trying to escape from the responsibilities , the responsibilities when you love someone, trust your friends and you also have to reciprocate their trust and love.

Does change has to be done just for the sake of change?

Anywhere you go in this world, your mind and memories goes with you. Spiritual growth doesn't happen by wandering on earth.

The fear inside you, probably is not fear, its the conflict you have within you. What is right and not so "worthy" thing to do ?

Regards