Hi, I just joined so I thought I'd fill you guys in on what brought me here. In May, 1990, I was in a severe car/train accident that killed my little brother and a family friend and hospitalized me for 91 days with a frontal lobe injury. I was comatose for 2 weeks and had to learn to do everything all over again. Ever since then I have suffered from depression, seizures, and possible ptsd. Last year I went to Las Vegas to meet my dad and my older brother, for a "guys trip." That was the worst trip of my life. My depression got up; I hated the whole week in Vegas. But then we figured out what the problem was. Once we got my meds straightened out, the trip took a week and a half longer than expected. It was like I was a new person. I wasn't depressed, I wanted to do things. It was weird. I have always been an animal lover, I feed the strays in my backyard, have a wildlife habitat setup, etc. Back in June, I lost a cat that I had raised from a bottle. He was so small when I found him, he used to ride around in my shirt pocket. As it turns out, he had a birth defect and his lungs didn't develop fully. So after a couple of weeks fighting a losing battle he ended up passing away. That pushed me over the edge. I spent part of that night with a machete against my throat ready to follow him Fortunately, I didn't do anything, and a Xanax helped, but I think that was sort of a revelation for me. After that night I started cleaning to keep my mind off things. I haven't stopped. For the first time ever, I have been keeping my house clean; caring for myself like I should; I have gotten rid of all artificial lighting in my house and now use candlelight; I stopped watching tv; I had a foot of hair cut off; I am talking to people and being friendly, the list goes on and on. Anyway, I think that about covers my life for now.