Social Stigma towards Single persons!

buroo

Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2012
Messages
30
Points
8
Marriage is a relationship most people engage in society and that's been the way since time immemorial. Marriage supposedly keeps the social fabric intact and maintains social order among grown-up people. Society like to create a sense of purity and fullness around the relationships of marriage but many marital relationships are worse than hell! Most people put up a brave front outside in Society while they are suffering inside in marriage. It takes a toll not only on them but on the kids as well.

The rate of divorces are going higher by the day as that of single mothers or single - unmarried persons. As a single person what I've felt myself is that Society doesn't treat a single and married person equally. While there is a greater acceptance for married persons, single persons are not welcome in certain quarters of society and that include within families and family gatherings and get-together. Nobody will openly admit such kind of discrimination but not only I've felt is personally but I've read or seen others saying so as well.

Is this because Society is generally intolerant towards those who doesn't follow its dictats as per the norm? What do you think?
 

R. Paradon

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2012
Messages
37
Points
8
Location
Thailand
With the exception of being taxed more than a married person, I do not find any social stigma at all because I am single. I have been single for many years (1978) and prior to my relocating to Thailand I was always welcome to all family functions - even with my ex-wives family!

I guess it is different for all people.
 

marlinealcott

Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2012
Messages
117
Points
18
I've never heard of single people not being welcomed anywhere. Aside from maybe dinners meant exclusively for couples and thing like that. I do think that most people tend to view being single as a less-than-ideal state and will try to urge their single friends to find someone. I could see how that may be annoying for the single person.
 

buroo

Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2012
Messages
30
Points
8
With the exception of being taxed more than a married person, I do not find any social stigma at all because I am single. I have been single for many years (1978) and prior to my relocating to Thailand I was always welcome to all family functions - even with my ex-wives family!

I guess it is different for all people.
Well I guess people are nicer in Thailand or whatever the place you meant or in your locality, or simply you were in the company of nicer and all-embracing people. Sadly all are not so lucky and I'm not only talking about myself. Scores of people, particularly single women feel very much bothered by it, as there are many mean people in Society that just think that there is something wrong with them as they are not married. Society is filled with all kinds of prejudiced people. Hence I find it best to give a 'don't give a damn' in return to the cold-shoulders or odd-queries. The person who respects me for who I'm will earn my respect also, I will not respect somebody who'd want me to have a particular status to provide respect.
 

buroo

Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2012
Messages
30
Points
8
I've never heard of single people not being welcomed anywhere. Aside from maybe dinners meant exclusively for couples and thing like that. I do think that most people tend to view being single as a less-than-ideal state and will try to urge their single friends to find someone. I could see how that may be annoying for the single person.
I made a mistake of not mentioning the age. Actually I meant single in your 30's and 40's, usually by which time most people are already married and with kids. If you thought about people of lower age, then it is not what I meant. People are bound to be single when they've not reached a certain age and certainly not before they get settled in life usually. But if you didn't mean that, then since you haven't heard of it, here is a nice blog of somebody with a first-hand experience as well:

http://eventfulfriends.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/the-stigma-of-being-single/

Even though women are mostly affected and targeted by such kind of social disapproval, it does apply to men also, that's what I've seen in life and wanted to state here.
 

Dorothy

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2012
Messages
62
Points
8
I have been invited to all family or friends events and nobody has ever had a problem wtih my status of a single mother. So I guess it just depends how others feel toward the singles. I don't know, but no problems here.:)
 

pafjlh

Member
Joined
Sep 18, 2012
Messages
95
Points
20
You know its funny I should see your post talking about this very subject. I just saw a news report not very long ago about single people in the later years trying to find love online. The news report made it seem like finding someone was essential to someone in this age group. In a way I found it offensive and so did my sister. We were like since when do you need someone to be totally happy in your life?

But for some odd reason society seems to think that unless you are in a relationship you can't be very happy. I have had friends and even doctors question me about the fact that I wasn't romantically involved. I just couldn't figure it out, for me it just came down to the fact that I never met the right one. Now that I am in later years, I really have no desire to meet someone, because I am just too set in my ways, and someone would need to take on a lot if they take me on, I am willing to admit that out loud. But guess what I am totally happy with who I am.
 

marlinealcott

Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2012
Messages
117
Points
18
I made a mistake of not mentioning the age. Actually I meant single in your 30's and 40's, usually by which time most people are already married and with kids. If you thought about people of lower age, then it is not what I meant. People are bound to be single when they've not reached a certain age and certainly not before they get settled in life usually. But if you didn't mean that, then since you haven't heard of it, here is a nice blog of somebody with a first-hand experience as well:

http://eventfulfriends.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/the-stigma-of-being-single/

Even though women are mostly affected and targeted by such kind of social disapproval, it does apply to men also, that's what I've seen in life and wanted to state here.
Although I'm not single, I definitely relate when it comes to having kids. Many people have asked me, "When are you going to have kids?" People have actually been asking me that since I was in my early twenties. I'm like, are you kidding me? I'm YOUNG! I still feel young at 30, and it annoys me that some people don't seem to understand that some people don't want kids.
 
A

artistry

Guest
There are ways that single people are discriminated against, single women will seldom be invited to parties of couples or married individuals unless she has a partner, in a lot of cases. Besides paying more taxes, when going on vacations the rooms cost more for a single person, or taking a cruise the cost of a cabin is higher for a single individual. If you research, you could probably find more instances of discriminatory practices. We tend to overlook them and move along.
 

Sophia G

New Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
29
Points
3
Location
United States
I'm recently separated and I agree with artistry - all of 'our' friends are couples. I'm no longer as welcome as I was when I was part of a pair. Outside of that men look at me as 'fair game' and women look at me as either a threat or there must be something wrong with me. It's irritating.
 
A

artistry

Guest
I tend to always take my side with something where people are acting like this. I feel that the women are pretty insecure in their relationship if they are threatened without any untoward action on my part for instance. The men, they are acting like men act, not to include all men, but most. So it's a good thing to brush it off and consider yourself as a tempting morsel, laugh at all of them. Although it can be irritating. Cheers.
 

Jessi

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2012
Messages
234
Points
18
I have never had any issues with there being a social stigma toward singles.

I think if you're being pushed out of events that are family-related because of it, then it's likely to do with the family and not society itself. Most people don't seem to care if someone is single.
 

buroo

Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2012
Messages
30
Points
8
I have never had any issues with there being a social stigma toward singles.

I think if you're being pushed out of events that are family-related because of it, then it's likely to do with the family and not society itself. Most people don't seem to care if someone is single.
Firstly, just because you didn't have issues doesn't mean there are no issues. There are certainly issues and if you are one of those I talked about then you had the good fortune to be on the shiny side.

I don't agree with your second point also, as social events concern society mainly and family is just a small part of it. Anyway, whatever support I find is always from the family and I guess most other people also. But that is my side. In other families people have to deal with stigma from family members also but it is as I said earlier only a small part of the larger social stigma. Most people might not care in your locality but the global scenario, taking a whole lot of cultures and particularly the conservative ones into account, is very different. I already produced one evidence above and if you just search google then you'll see for yourself whether people care or not.
 

Sophia G

New Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
29
Points
3
Location
United States
I tend to always take my side with something where people are acting like this. I feel that the women are pretty insecure in their relationship if they are threatened without any untoward action on my part for instance. The men, they are acting like men act, not to include all men, but most. So it's a good thing to brush it off and consider yourself as a tempting morsel, laugh at all of them. Although it can be irritating. Cheers.
LOL "tempting morsel" - I love it. Thanks for the chuckle :)
 

R. Paradon

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2012
Messages
37
Points
8
Location
Thailand
Well I guess people are nicer in Thailand or whatever the place you meant or in your locality, or simply you were in the company of nicer and all-embracing people. Sadly all are not so lucky and I'm not only talking about myself. Scores of people, particularly single women feel very much bothered by it, as there are many mean people in Society that just think that there is something wrong with them as they are not married. Society is filled with all kinds of prejudiced people. Hence I find it best to give a 'don't give a damn' in return to the cold-shoulders or odd-queries. The person who respects me for who I'm will earn my respect also, I will not respect somebody who'd want me to have a particular status to provide respect.
First I will agree that most of my friends here in Thailand are nicer than those back in America but perhaps that is because I am respected for my age! As far as you saying about many people ~ yourself as well as others, that they are being belittled for their single life, I'd find a different social group. Or simple wait it out as about 50% or more of American marriages break up and then your snotty friends may apologize and join you! ;)
 
A

artistry

Guest
Thanks Sophia G, you have to laugh about things. R. Paradon, that is both funny and sad, but you are correct in your assessment of the marriage trends. We only have a short while to enjoy our lives, years go by so fast, so I try to live and let live. I don't tarry too long , especially in a negative situation. Cheers.
 

R. Paradon

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2012
Messages
37
Points
8
Location
Thailand
We only have a short while to enjoy our lives, years go by so fast, so I try to live and let live. I don't tarry too long , especially in a negative situation. Cheers.
I am happy to hear that. So many people are messed up in unobtainable goals that are not really theirs but a conception or better yet, perception, of what they think they must be. It is important to have goals or life can get boring, but goals should have a reachable end. Yes, life does go quickly. I recently turned 67 which I thought when I was young would never happen, but by competing with me and not others, for most of my life, I am healthy, mentally alert and enjoy most every minute of my life.
 
A

artistry

Guest
R. Paradon, thanks so much for your likes. Age is a matter of perspective, if you are in good health and have a positive attitude as you seem to have, you are in a great place. As someone once said, life is not a rehearsal, so it is a good thing to try to be as reasonably happy as possible. I am not a youngster either. I read that a daily dose of Vitamin D and Cod Liver Oil are excellent in warding off Alzheimer's and dementia. This comes from a doctor who studies brain diseases. Take care.