Should I let my mom join internet dating site?

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beyondhorizon38

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#1
One afternoon, I went to my mother’s room because someone’s looking for her over the telephone and I didn’t know who it was. So, I went upstairs to her room. I was calling her from outside but no one answered. I knocked and still, nothing happened. Since the door wasn’t locked, I went inside. My mom was in the bathroom, so that was why. She told me to wait and I told the man on the line to wait too. While I was waiting, I saw her laptop opened on her bed. Shockingly, it was on internet dating website. She signed up and it was bad. I mean, my mom’s still sexy but she has aged. I asked her why and she said she wants to get married again. I told her to stop whatever she’s thinking because I won’t let her. She has grandchildren already and the idea is ridiculous but she insisted to join. She’s very hard headed. Should I just let her join and live the life she wants?
 
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Elhama

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#2
She has grandchildren already and the idea is ridiculous but she insisted to join. She’s very hard headed. Should I just let her join and live the life she wants?
Hi beyondhorizon38,
I do not think the idea of your mum getting married again and enjoying the life, as Allah "God" allows, ridiculous whatever her age is. Enjoying life by getting married is the right that Allah "God" gave to every human without discrimination according to anything. If I remember well, I even, once read that such right is included in the human rights that were declared by the united nations.

I also believe that it is your mum call not yours to decide the way she wants to live her life by. If you do not agree, try to reverse roles and put yourself instead of your mum. When you do that try to realize what your mother thinks and the most important what she feels. Does not she have the right not to feel lonely? Does not she have the right to feel lovable and wanted again as a wife? So, be kind to her and try to feel for her.

It may also help to imagine what it feels if your mum tries to force you on doing what you do not like or to force you on stopping what you like. Does not that feel bad? I believe if you think deeply, you would find that everyone has an exclusive right to decide freely their own life decisions especially, if they are such matured.

I just think she might not choose the safe way because I think the internet is not a safe way for such things. Of course, also its her exclusive right to choose whatever way. However, I believe it may be kind of you to calmly and kindly ask her to be careful about the way she chose in getting married in order not to get hurt or broken heart. Try to be there for her and give her the love and the support she needs.

Peace & Kind Regards
 
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denydritz

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#3
Hi @beyondhorizon38, I agree with @Elhama. She is your mother, so it's your decision, but I would respect her decision as an adult. I would refrain from saying her choice is ridiculous as it may hurt her feelings. At least, we know that it isn't ridiculous for her as she is seriously thinking about this option.

I would let her join and live the life she wants as long as she is safe and happy. There are pros and cons about online dating, but if she can meet a man that can be a great partner for her, then that is wonderful. Maybe we have a difficult time accepting the shape of other people's happiness, especially when it goes against our own expectations. But if we can open up the space in our hearts to do so, then her happiness is our happiness.

Cheers!
 

Elhama

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#4
Hi denydritz,
I liked your words that I quote below. I think the world would be more beautiful if we apply those words when dealing with others in all life aspects.
Maybe we have a difficult time accepting the shape of other people's happiness, especially when it goes against our own expectations. But if we can open up the space in our hearts to do so, then her happiness is our happiness.
Peace upon you