Q. Why Doesn't My Hubby Do What I Want Him To?

Ally Mckean

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Jun 14, 2016
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A. Because I can't control him! I can only control me.

I've been married for coming up to 7 years and I've only recently mastered this major point.

I seriously started my personal development journey nearly 1 year ago and I've taken leaps and bounds past some of my major limiting beliefs, and this is one of them.

My own Mother set me straight on this one not that long ago, (it's worth noting here that I am not in the habit of opening up much to my Ma but this time was different; I needed her).

One time fairly recently, I called my Ma complaining about what my hubby was doing and not doing and she told me immediately;
You can't control him!
I was stumped. There was no room to complain any further. She was right. I couldn't control him and the way I was approaching my issues with him was as though I could! And it was causing all sorts of grief for me and for him and who knows what my kids were thinking!

It was a hard pill to swallow too because I felt more than justified in my complaints especially when it came to our children. My Ma said to me;
They, (my kids), will find their own truth with their father, he's not doing anything wrong!
I realised then that I have special things to offer and he has special things to offer; they are equally great things and they will equally benefit our children. I was trying to put my concerns onto my children even though they didn't appear to have any of the problems I had with their father, (I happily ignored this defining point).

I feel I'm past this limiting belief now and my life is much easier and I'm much happier for it. I do still feel those old beliefs coming up for me in reply to a stressful situation, (with my hubby, my children, or anyone else), but I recognise them immediatly and rip them to shreds! And replace those thoughts with what I now know to be true; I can't control anyone else except for myself.

It's awesome to have that sort of control over my emotions instead of feeling helpless on a wild rollercoaser I can't stop. And I will get better and better at responding to situations in a positive way. :)

What's your exeperience with feeling as though you need to control others - or with someone trying to control you?
 

brokenblade

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Nov 1, 2013
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Dang it! I was going to answer this question, but you beat me to it. LOL!!! So true, you can only control yourself. This is one thing that needs to be realized in your journey of life. Don't try to control others, but more importantly, don't let others control you. In your journey, you may come across people who will try to hijack you and forge their ways on you. I've learned that while I am taking a noble journey that not that many people take, there are people that are going to try to hijack it and build their throne in your life. Try to be your God. If you allow them to, they will undo every progress you have made and after time passes, you will realize that you have not made any positive changes with them.

One thing that people who are on a journey have is recognition of their soul. People who try to hijack others don't recognize their own soul. They think they can find fulfillment or their soul by stealing it from others, or trying to live their own life through someone else.
 

Ally Mckean

Coaching Member
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Jun 14, 2016
Messages
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Absolutely! Thanks for your reply, it is spot on!

I think that's how personal development fits in for me these days. As my self-awareness grows I can see more in others therefore recognise in them what was/is in me. I am at cause to help myself and also others, (who seek change), to really take life to another level totally unexplored for most people. And I'm so excited for the journey I am now on, it's for the rest of my life!