Overcoming Low Conscientiousness and High Neuroticism

ToTheMoon

Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2017
Messages
4
Points
23
Hi everyone. I've struggled with depression on and off for the last two years. According to the Big Five personality test, I have had high neuroticism and low conscientiousness for a while—a particularly pernicious combination. I've realized that a lot of my struggles have arisen due to these traits and that my gut reactions don't help me sidestep my weaknesses. At the same time, I strongly believe that I can do something about them. I think staying accountable in a public forum like this might be an important ingredient in maximizing my chances of success.

Here's my plan:
  • I'll update a post below with my progress every day (so as not to spam this subforum). I'll include a brief description of how things went, how much I slept (I have problems with sleep deprivation), how much I exercised, and anything else. I've actually been doing this on my own, but I tend to fall off the wagon during hard times.
Maybe doing this could benefit someone else. I'm sure there are other people with depression who could improve their chances of success through similar accountability.
 
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Joined
Dec 26, 2018
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13
I understand your problem and I'm here to tell you that they can be fixed. The truth in life is that we have the power to define ourselves, we can decide who we're going to be and what we're going to do with our lives. So I just really wanna stress that you can overcome these problems, after all, that's what personal development is all about: becoming the best version of yourself you can possibly be. Now I'm going to give you a few key steps that have actually helped me to stay motivated, focus and solve problems in my life.

1. The power of focus. Understand that whatever you focus on in life is going to expand, so you have to focus on the right things. You need to prioritize what is most important to you. You have to understand that whatever you focus on in life is going to expand, so make sure you prioritize what is most important to you. Make a list of the things (goals) that are most important to you, so you know these things have to get done before anything else. This includes mental focus as well, avoid thinking negatively because if you think that way it's just going to grow and expand into something worse. Instead feel your mind with positive thoughts and your life will start to change. Also, avoid trying to do too much, don't try to set so many goals. It's easier to reach 3 goals than it is to reach 10, the reason why so many people fail to reach their goals is because they try to do too much. Remember that to do less is to do more. For example, If I'm playing the piano, I'm going to get really good at it and once I'm good enough, I can move to another instrument. If I tried to play the drums, piano, guitar all at once, it's going to be a lot more challenging to become great at all three, because by splitting my focus between these different skills, my effort is split as well. If I want to be more effective, productive, and become a specialist, I need to focus on one instrument and get good at that one, once I have mastered that, I can move on to something else. Another example would be sports, It's not very wise to try and play football, soccer, and basketball at the same time. Instead, it's better to just pick one thing (one direction) and stick to it. You don't want to become good at something, you want to become great at something, and if you split your focus between so many things in life, it's going to be very hard to get the feedback and experience necessary to become the best. So I encourage you to think about your goals, what is it you are trying to achieve? And remember that you don't need to have 10 to 20 goals, you only need about 3 or 5 goals for the year. To do more is to do less. If you try to do too much you'll just become mentally and physically exhausted. I believe life should be simple, so keep it simple and do things with simplicity in your life. Understand the power of focus and have laser-point focus in everything you do.


2. Identify and eliminate distractions. Once you have set your goals for the year, then you need to identify distractions in your life and eliminate them. What I like to do is get a sheet of paper and write down everything that could be a potential distraction to my goals. You need to write down everything! This can include family, friends, people in general, television, news, media, food, fears, worries, doubts, unbelief, procrastination, social status, pride, and etc. What this does is it allows you to identify when you are being distracted, when these things happen in your life, you know you are being distracted. If You can’t get rid of some of them that’s fine, at least you know to avoid them when they happen. You also need to become self-aware of your own weaknesses. If the news (television) is causing you to feel worried, turn it off and stop watching it, the news is negative energy anyway and you don't want fear to be your focus. If you are spending time on your phone, social media, video games, and they're taking time away from what's important, shut them down. If friends and family are causing problems for you, stop spending time with them. You have to protect yourself and you also have to protect your environment as well. Be careful what you listen too, be careful who you hang out with, be careful what you focus on! If you do everything I said, identify your goals, eliminate distractions, you will be much more effective.

Also if you want, you can check out my youtube channel where I talk about personal development and business, and overall just how to achieve success in life, then I'll have a link to a video that I think will help you:

By the way, I'm not trying to sell you anything, I just think this can help you out. I hope this helps you and I hope you go out there and be the best you can be! Pursue happiness, plan a brilliant future, believe in everyday miracles, do what you think is right, seek advice often, live out loud, and never give up on yourself!
 
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ToTheMoon

Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2017
Messages
4
Points
23
Thank you LaDarius, I really appreciate your response! I watched your video too. Definitely keep up what you're doing and you'll get even better over time. Thanks for sharing!

Even though I'm familiar with the idea of focusing on a small number of specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-based (SMART) goals at a time, I think I have a tendency to take on more than I can handle because of the dopamine rush I get from making rapid progress on many different goals at once. Of course, by taking on some many goals at once, I increase the chances of failing at any one of them.

Right now I'm trying something that I haven't done before by focusing on my high agreeableness (as measured by the Big Five personality test) and seeing if this public forum helps me stick to my goals more effectively. I'm also being accountable to myself to the extent possible through tracking how I spend my time.