My Self-Improvement Journey

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#1
(Note: If this is in the wrong section please feel free to move. Wasn't sure where to keep a journal.)

It is 1:30. I'm eating mint chocolate chip ice cream, watching TV. and vaping. Despite my current situation, I'm probably going to earn more in the next 12 months than I ever have in my life. Periods of hard work, my own natural strengths, and being in the right place at the right time have all contributed to this.

But what good is money if this is my life? No matter what I earn or how well I do, I will always hold a resentment towards myself for not actively working to be the man that I want to be.

So here it begins. For the next month, I'm going to actively work towards bettering the body that has been given to me, nurturing the mind that uses this body, and meditating to better my relationship with what I pervieve to be my higher power.

For the next 30 days:
1. I'm jogging or working out in some capacity everyday.
2. I'm meditating every morning.
3. I'm stopping vaping.
4. I'm continuing to work hard.

Obviously I have more goals than this. I want children, want to buy a house, want to be in the best shape of my life, ect. But right now I need to take some baby steps.
Feel free to share in my journey or post comments and/or encouragement.
 

MoreSuccess

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#2
Hi Benjamin, good to hear and I hope you can stick with it. I like your list. Maybe add in something to feed your mind with new ideas and skills, whether it's reading books or watching youtube videos that are not just entertainment. Learning and exploring new things helps keep my motivation up.
 

J E Roberson

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#4
Great start Benjamin! However 4 is real fluffy, at the end of each day rather you hit that goal or not could be debatable. Hold yourself more accountable with simple yes or no, is it done or not, type goals just like the other ones.

I also make list like this and it adds a tremendous boost in my life every time. The book the slight edge is a worthy read and talks about small, daily consistent actions. The books paints the picture that even if you had an elephant on a scale you could drop sand everyday and eventually the elephant will be outweighed.

Also the only hurdle I run into with these list is that moment of do or not to do. At that moment the 5 second rule (Mel Robbins) works to burst through any stagnant moments.
Best of luck friend, but you don't need it your awesome!
 
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#5
Back it it. Kind of gave up on this. I'm not sure what did it but starting this journal really had zero impact on me. So here I am again, becoming a new person for a new stage in life.

Purpose is good - but I think a strong reason behind that purpose makes it much stronger. These might change - and that's ok.

I want to get in shape to have a strong body so that I can see what nature and I am truely able to accomplish. I want to be able to have a threesome with my girlfriend because I naturally attract women like that and she sees me as naturally being a man who deserves that.

I want to eat healthy so that I can have a long life and feel good on the inside. A strong mind comes with this as well.

I want a million dollar in sales year. Because - why not. I'm on this planet - I have a great job - and I want to show that I am a force to be reckoned with in the company.

At this point I'm not even going to write that I want to "stop vaping." Vaping isn't an option anymore. I had a fun 3 months but I am not someone who vapes.
 

Kevin Mahoney

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#6
Hello Benjamin,
Good luck with your journey. I agree with msuccess. Feeding yourself positive material is vital. I like John Maxwell, Darren Hardy, and others. A good resource are the articles on this website.
Two other tips:
1. Think about where you want to be in 5 years and evaluate if your current life is projecting towards that end.
2. Consider your peer group's impact on your trajectory. Bad company corrupts good character. Drinkers hang out with drinkers, negative people hang with negative people, and the same is true for people looking to grow.
 

iwillbemyself

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#7
Hello,

I'm following a similar goal in my life from the beginning of the year, a sincere advice is to take everything calmly, committed but stay relaxed don't take it too serously.

Personally, in this period I'm felling a great pleasure trowing away objects, clothes and people that are no longer useful in my life (maybe this is stupid, don't do it).

A good book to read about, if you haven't already read it, is "Awoken the giant whithin - A. Robins", it explain in the best way how to use the pain and pleasure sistem to shape the life of our dreams.

Good luck
 

dennmart

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#8
First off, it's awesome that you're not only trying to actively improve your life but also being able to recognize that you needed to work a different way to reach what you want to accomplish. Not a lot of people do that - they just spin their wheels in place and wonder why they haven't improved much.

It seems like you have some solid reasons you want to do these things. That will help you get started. Make sure that these are reasons that are solid and resonate with you, because you'll also need to use them when the going inevitably gets tough (and believe me, it always gets tough).

One thing I noticed is that when you say that you want to make a million dollars in sales because "why not". That isn't a solid reason. I mean, it works to get started, but it won't sustain you for long. You should be a bit more specific here. I'd argue that you need to be specific with everything else. It's good to want to be strong and eat healthily, but you need to be clear how you'll do that (go to the gym five times a week, going on a keto diet, no more fried foods and alcohol, etc.). Getting clear with details supports your purpose and makes everything so much easier.

I also wanted to recommend that instead of taking too many things at once, why not choose the most important to you at this time and focus solely on that? I've failed at so many things because I thought I could do many things at once. We're not meant to do too many drastic things at once - we only have so much willpower to give on any period, and splitting that up into so many directions will drain you quick. The way I got around this was focusing on one thing and constantly reminding myself that even though it will take me a long time to get through the things I want to do, it's better to be successful at them instead of trying to do everything at once and failing.

As an example, I have similar goals to yours, particularly with my health and career goals. In the past, I failed horribly because I decided to dive into both a diet and exercise at the same time. I was miserable most of the time, and it permeated throughout my job and the rest of my life, and I ended up in worse shape than before. After a bit, I decided to focus first only on my diet. It was tough, but focusing on one single thing was doable. After I was able to make eating healthier a normal part of my life a few months later, I joined a gym. I don't have to worry about eating right because I already do it, so I'm able to just focus on learning what exercises I want to be focusing on. It's been going great - I've lost almost 30 pounds in the past year since I began focusing on these two things. Now that my diet and gym routines are set and I pretty much do them automatically, I'm beginning to focus on the career goals I've set for myself. It's early in the process so there's not much to report on there, but I feel good about it because my physical health is awesome now and I have more energy to pursue those goals.

If you want to chat more about it, feel free to reach out to me here. Hope this helps!
 
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#9
Hey Benjamin! Not sure if you are still working on this but I would say, change takes time. And no matter how well we plan, things get derailed from time to time. I would recommend you expect that will happen and then when it does you can just remind yourself that this was anticipated and keep going. Making a commitment to self is often much harder then what we commit to do for others. So remind yourself you are worth this effort even if its hard. I'm a big believer in addressing body, mind and spirit - but changing all at the same time can be an awful lot. One option is to pick one area to focus on, practice the new behavior until it becomes somewhat habitual and then add on. For example, tackle getting a solid fitness practice in place and then tackle the vaping.

I agree with a previous comment, to do a real gut check on why you've adopted these goals. Goals can be especially hard if you don't feel a strong personal connection to them. You've got to internalize the WHY of what you are doing. I just recommended my site to someone else, www.MeetMaple.com, but I think you mind find it useful - it lets you set goals for things like journaling and it gives you a reminder so that you get reinforcement while the new habit is developing. I find reflection is a great tool for when you are trying to answer those big WHY questions. You'll find some good reflection prompts in Maple, but just do a web search and you will find some that could help you with this. I wish you a lot of luck!!!
 

Elhama

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#10
But right now I need to take some baby steps.
Hi Benjamin,
I hope you are still going in your self-improvement journey in order to achieve the life progress that you hope. I agree with you about taking baby steps because I think, at the end, it is not how big a step a person takes that matters in reaching the goal, but it is how persistent they are in doing the steps and how consistent the steps are taken. To me, developing oneself is the most greatest thing a person can achieve. It takes many of great characteristics to achieve such as courage, will power, commitment, patience, kindness and faith. I do not think that there is one truly great thing , at any area around the world, was done in a split of a second, so it definitely takes time to achieve self-development. I believe self-improvement journey, is a journey that should extend the whole life because I think learning, at least, a new thing every day, is what makes life be interesting.
Kind Regards