Living with regrets vs. Having no regrets

Walter27

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“Here’s the thing: If we have goals, dreams, and we want to do our best, and if we love people and don't want to hurt them or lose them… we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn't to live without any regrets, the point is to not hate ourselves for having them…

…regret doesn't remind us that we did badly, it reminds us that we know we can do better.”


This quote came from a Ted Talk I just watched about regret. I’ve recently made it a point to do all of the things I want to do, with no regrets, but this video is all about living with regrets.


I found this perspective rather interesting because when I think of regret my mind automatically jumps to things I should do, not things I have already done. On the other hand, I’m sure there are people whose minds work the exact opposite of me on this topic.


Either way, I just wanted to share this video as an encouragement to anyone who is living with regret. If you're living with regret I recommend you check this out… it provides awesome insight on how to live, cope and ultimately grow with regret.


Thoughts?


If you want to watch search: Kathryn Shultz Don't Regret Regret
 

Dennielle Lee

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My mind works in similar ways - I think of things I should do when I think of regret, although I definitely also have regrets about the past.

I plan on checking out this talk. Thanks for sharing.

Regret can be an incredibly destructive emotion in we carry too much of it around with us. I certainly have in the past! I think it's important to focus on living in the present while always working on some kind of goal that will take us into the future. We encounter emotional troubles when life becomes stagnate, then regret comes on like an avalanche of negative emotions! The great thing about life is that it's never too late to learn and grown which is what a life of limited regrets is all about - well in my opinion anyway! :)
 

Ry!

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I've over the years managed to let go of regret pretty much. I tend to look forwards in life anyway, so what occupies my mind isn't what happened, it's what's going to happen. Another thing that's come of this is that I don't really remember things past 2 weeks. If it comes up I can recall what happened etc., but they aren't things that I'm actively thinking about. I think this has a lot of advantages, namely I can focus on what's important and that rarely is the past imo.
 

ndcharles

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I might not think much about regret but I sure have much of the thought, "I wish I hadn't done that", barely few seconds after an action.
 

whitelotus

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Until recently I didn't think I really had regrets because I felt like I had always done the best I could with what I had, then I started to feel regret for a few things. Now I'm realizing that deep down, regardless of logic, I deeply regret almost every decision I've ever made. I can't believe I'm 37 and this is my life. I can't believe all of the failures and missed opportunities. Instead of telling myself to not have those regrets I'm surrendering to them and allowing them to be, because suppressing them won't do me any good. So I'm letting it take it's course. Doing meditations and so on. I think the worst part is that I know I could do better but now I wonder if it's too late because I'm physically disabled to a point and it's so hard to get anything done. By the time I'm up it's time for the day to wind down. Really struggling with this.