Letting go of pent-up feelings

bright_light

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I guess we all have feelings of guilt, anger, hurt, and may be even a secret love. We can't shout back at our boss without risking our long-time job, and we just can't simply shrug off guilt feelings. Repressed emotions give us a heavy chest especially if they have been there for a long time. Worse, they cause emotional imbalance. What are some ways to release them?
 

XoxChrissyxoX

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I think that the best way to release these pent-up feelings is to try to get to the source of what is causing them. If you can understand why you are feeling a certain way then you can take the steps needed to try to fix the problem.

You also have to ask yourself if you are justified in feeling the way that you are, because sometimes we feel a certain way when we shouldn't and stress ourselves out when we shouldn't. One example of this would be feeling guilt. I have personally felt guilty for not intervening and trying to speak to my father about his drinking when I was younger. Family members thought that I was the only person he might listen to and stop. I was too afraid of talking to him about it because I didn't want him to get mad at me. When I saw him last year (after 5 years of not seeing him) I saw the toll that the drinking took on him and I felt guilty because on some level I felt that it was my fault that he got as bad as he did. I realize now that there was nothing I could have done. I tried everything I could but I cannot blame myself for another person's actions. He's a grown man and he makes his own choices, not me.

Of course things, like being angry at a boss, are a bit more difficult because you need that job to survive. In situations like that I guess it would be best to try to talk to your boss about whatever it is that is upsetting you. If the person is difficult to talk to and you know that you can't get anywhere then you can try to find another employer that is more pleasant to work with, even though you would have to put up with the issues at work until you can do so.

In general, the way I deal with issues that are pent up is I find ways to not worry about them. I busy myself with something to take my mind off of it. Find something you love and immerse yourself in it if that is at all possible. I listen to music, design graphics for my website, comment on forums, play games, and watch movies on Netflix. I also walk around my neighborhood if I need to keep my mind off my issues or hang out with friends and family. It always helps to have some type of outlet. I find if I don't sit around completely focused on thinking about my problems they are easier to deal with. If you can get some distance from it, you can gain perspective.

I feel like I'm rambling now so I think I'll stop writing lol.
 

iebo

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Screaming in private and beating up a pillow are good ways to release all that pent up anger. Also, regular exercise, where you can exercise angry, is a good way to release stress. Also its a good skill to know when to let something go because its just not that important.
 

beingwell

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I guess we all have feelings of guilt, anger, hurt, and may be even a secret love. We can't shout back at our boss without risking our long-time job, and we just can't simply shrug off guilt feelings. Repressed emotions give us a heavy chest especially if they have been there for a long time. Worse, they cause emotional imbalance. What are some ways to release them?
We all need to find an outlet so we can air out the negatives inside us. To some, there is sports. Others, there's watching movies or eating out or hanging out with friends. What's important is that we get to voice out or express what we really feel inside.
 

speedy

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Yes, you are right. It will ruin our day if we keep it for a long. I agree with the Chrissy, try to find out the source of that feeling and fix it and it will give you a peace of mind. I am not saying that I am religious but if such thing happen to me, I bring them into prayer and cried out loud unto God by praying and releasing the pain and hurt inside me. Also, I asked him to give me a forgiving spirit and touch the heart of the person who caused me the bad feeling to realize what he/she did and will voluntarily ask for forgiveness...
 

Regine Richter

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same here as well with these feelings you share about. I just experienced something rather strange. My mother was a perfectionist of the worst kind, nothing I could ever do was good enough in her eyes and so I grew up with a horrible self esteem.
She has also dragged me through years of emotional abuse. Just because I was ME and had other dreams, goals or opinions in life was a reason for the silent treatment not only for a few hours but up to two weeks.
Things became even harder when my family of origin forced me to participate in caregiving to her for the last 1,5 years of her life after she broke a leg in 2010. The abuse jumped at me everytime I went to see her three evenings a week and I hated it.
Now she passed away almost 4 weeks ago. From the moment she was no more it was as if a huge backpack was lifted off my shoulders. No more insults and silent treatment any more. I am very calm now, dont have any regrets towards her like I should have done this and that additionally to what I already did, and I am a free person for the first time in my life.
 

zararina

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Thinking that there are reasons for everything and that there is always a better better would me feel relieve somehow and accept things. I do pray when i seems not knowing anymore what is happening around me.
I also eat my favorite foods and listen or even sing good songs when i am angry or somewhat guilty and it makes me feel better.
 

Cecil Estrera

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Accepting that all those feelings were a part of the past would us to let go.
But I agree that it takes time.
Being busy could help as well, as you might forget those when you are too occupied.
Me? I just let them be and maintain my self-control whenever someone tries to make a hell out of me.
I can say that I am a very reserved person and I don't usually fight back as I think it could just worsen the situation.
Whenever that happens, I just cry my heart out and share my hard feelings to someone. After that, I feel relieved already.
 

MiszMariee

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Repressed feelings, words or actions are common among everyone. Different people have various amounts of pent up emotion. For me, crying is a really good way of expressing what I'm feeling whether I am sad, happy, or simply angry. I cry at least once a day. Most people see crying or expressing your true feelings as a weakness but I view it as a strength because only the strong can wear their hearts on their sleeve and get hurt. Take the pain and love again, stronger, harder, and wiser. When I'm feeling down or like venting to the world, I will usually pick up my guitar and play a song or pick up my journal and write until the tears start pouring from my eyes and I can no longer see the words. Keeping your emotions inside and not having the chance to express your true self will drive you to do crazy things so expressing yourself in a positive way will forever make you feel better at the end of a long day. To this day whenever I have something I want to say to someone but cannot say it to their faces either because it's not professional or that person is no longer in my life, I will set up my HD camera and record a video. I will record a video saying all I need to say, all that I want them to know. And I post it on youtube so that if I ever pass on unexpectedly, I would have never left anything unsaid regardless of if those people ever hear what I had to say. I will know that those words are out there somewhere and I got to express myself in ways some people never get the chance to.