Is your spouse your best friend?

songbird

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I have my girlfriends, but I would have to say that my husband is my best friend. There are some people who do not see their spouse as their best friend, but have others that fill that role. Is your spouse your best friend? Why or why not?
 

SDavis2702

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My spouse is not my best friend. I think that's okay, though, because different people have different ideas of what a friend is. We can sit and say that there's a specific definition but I really don't think there is. My spouse is my other half. Where I'm negative, she's positive. Where she has a weakness, I have a strength. I don't want her to be my best friend because I look to my best friend for different things than I do my spouse. She is the woman I love and I wouldn't trade her for the world. She is #1 in THAT category. As for the friend category, someone else fills the #1 spot. This is just me, though. Every person handles their relationships differently. I do envy those who have a best friend in their spouse! it definitely seems like full time joy!
 

Cecil Estrera

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Well, I would say yes at the moment. As I don't have a close friend now, he becomes my immediate shoulder-to-cry-on. And he would always take my side. He is good at making me feel better and he listens carefully in anything that I say. I guess friendship is the best foundation of a relationship, and I am glad that my husband is a friend to me.
 

radascars

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Me and my girlfriend started out as good friends and I am grateful to say that we still consider each other as best friend and don't think much of our relationship as the highest priority. Thinking that you have your bestfriend as your lover is a good thing to do as you can open up certain issues that you can't share with others. Friendly advise is still in there and I really having a good time with my girlfriend as my best friend as well :)
 

speedy

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Yes, I considered my husband as my best friend. We were friends before we were into relationship and get married. Sometimes, we talk as a friend and we thank each other for being that way. I agreed with Sean, that our spouse is our half and it is a good thing too that he is my friend. My husband thread me the same way and every time he prayed he thanks the Lord for his wife and his friend. :).
 

SDavis2702

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So do you all believe that absolutely everything should be shared with your spouse? I don't.

You see, people sometimes get all fairytail-ish with their relationships and act as if their spouse is supposed to know every single thing about them or their thoughts. I thoroughly disagree because I refuse to ignore human nature.

Here's an example. I'm in the US Army. A few months ago, there was a possibility that the government wasn't going to be able to pay the troops. In fact, we saw our earnings statements early and our pay was more than cut in half. We had no advance warning. Was I freaked out? HELL YES. So was my lady. However, I am the head of the household. If I crumble, so does my family. So, I didn't express my true feelings to her. I gave her what SHE needed in order to keep faith that everything would be just fine.

My best friend and I did our fair share of freaking out, though. Not in a bad way, but we expressed out discontent about the situation and we started putting things in motion to prepare for at least 6 months with absolutely no pay at all.

What I'm saying is, my lady is not my best friend. She is my lady... and I am her man. Those are roles within themselves. My best friend has his own role... and they MUST stay separate for me. The aforementioned is just one example of why I feel this way.
 

DeeNeely

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So do you all believe that absolutely everything should be shared with your spouse? I don't.

You see, people sometimes get all fairytail-ish with their relationships and act as if their spouse is supposed to know every single thing about them or their thoughts. I thoroughly disagree because I refuse to ignore human nature.

Here's an example. I'm in the US Army. A few months ago, there was a possibility that the government wasn't going to be able to pay the troops. In fact, we saw our earnings statements early and our pay was more than cut in half. We had no advance warning. Was I freaked out? HELL YES. So was my lady. However, I am the head of the household. If I crumble, so does my family. So, I didn't express my true feelings to her. I gave her what SHE needed in order to keep faith that everything would be just fine.

My best friend and I did our fair share of freaking out, though. Not in a bad way, but we expressed out discontent about the situation and we started putting things in motion to prepare for at least 6 months with absolutely no pay at all.

What I'm saying is, my lady is not my best friend. She is my lady... and I am her man. Those are roles within themselves. My best friend has his own role... and they MUST stay separate for me. The aforementioned is just one example of why I feel this way.
How long have you been married? If you don't communicate then the chances are it won't be long. If you don't tell her the truth about things eventually it will come back to bite you. You are not the only one who needs to make plans. How can your wife make plans if she doesn't know what is going on?
 

SDavis2702

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I'm not married... We only live the married life. I lost my wife many years ago due to infidelity while I served in Iraq. This doesn't really help my argument at all, huh? Hahaha... :)
 

amy005

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My fiancee is my best friend and I am pretty sure he feels the same way. We can discuss things together that we normally would not discuss with others and I know I can always completely be myself with him no matter what. I have friends I can be the same way around but it is different with a lover because you have an even closer bond to begin with.
 

Marmalade

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No, my husband is not my best friend. I wish I could say he is, but he sort of destroyed it for me. Sadly, I think he considers me a friend. We share mutual family concerns and other things that keep us intact.
 

SDavis2702

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You bring up a good point, Marmalade. How do you all keep the special bond there when there are obvious friend relations going on?
 

amy005

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No, my husband is not my best friend. I wish I could say he is, but he sort of destroyed it for me. Sadly, I think he considers me a friend. We share mutual family concerns and other things that keep us intact.
You said "sadly, I think he considers me a friend". Does that mean you do not even consider him a friend at all? I am just curious. I hope that me and my fiancee will always be as close as we are now. But things do happen that can change that and we sometimes have no control over that.
 

Soozi

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My husband wasn't always my best friend, but he is now. I love spending time with him, talking things over with him, and just sharing life with him in general. It took awhile to develop our relationship to the level where we preferred being with each other over anyone else almost all the time. We don't necessarily tell each other every little thing, because I think some things are better left unsaid, but we tell each other most things.
 

SDavis2702

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That is EXACTLY how I feel, Soozi. I just don't think everything should be said.

Just because my partner isn't my best friend doesn't mean I don't want to be around her more than anyone else. She is always number one no matter what. But my friends hold a different spot, as I think they should. Maybe it's because I am a male. When the superbowl rolls around, I want my best friend there. My lady does not fit that role and I don't ever want her to. The day we converse for hours about football is the day I reevaluate what I am with her for. Football isn't worth our precious relationship time. With my best friend, though, oh we could chit chat for days.
 

Marmalade

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You said "sadly, I think he considers me a friend". Does that mean you do not even consider him a friend at all? I am just curious. I hope that me and my fiancee will always be as close as we are now. But things do happen that can change that and we sometimes have no control over that.
Yes, unfortunately things did happen. He refuses to deal with issues that changed my feelings. I care about him, we have longevity under our belts, but no I don't really consider him a friend anymore. It's a very long story and I'm sure it seems confusing from the outside. I do think friendship in a marriage or partnership is very important. As we age and companionship becomes more important, I think most people would be happy to grow old with someone they consider a best friend, so I think many of you are very fortunate indeed!
 

AmazingP

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Your other half should have the person who sees you as you are and should be the repository of trust and love -- in other words he/she should be your best friend. Of course, not all marriages or partnerships are this way due to factors which may not be in their own control but I think this should be the idea one.
 

zuulspaceman

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My partner is my best friend. We do pretty much everything together but sometimes we need space. Living together is hard for me because I don't have very good patience but I work on it. I think your significant other should be your best friend, but as a man I can't bring myself to talk to her like I would to my other good friends(about sex and all that stuff, she'd get so mad!)
 

WitchyWoman

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Very interesting, I do have girlfriends that I go shopping with or out to lunch. But I have learned not to get to personal or share too much information concerning my private life with them. They are more like acquaintances. My best friend is my husband. We can talk to each other about anything. He knows me inside and out. I trust the advice he gives to me. He is the one I trust to share all my thoughts and feelings with. He does not judge me and accepts me for who I am. I have learned by being this way it keeps my life free from all the drama.