Is it just me or girls are really confusing?

C

confusing28

Guest
I don’t mean to judge but am I the only one who finds girls confusing? I do think that they have a lot going inside their minds and I appreciate how much they make an effort to almost everything but I am finding it difficult to understand them. For example, an ex girlfriend of mine whom I have met during a foreign event says she likes me because I am quite a gentleman; however, she ends up leaving me for a motorbike rider. I also had a foreign girlfriend whom I have met through a common friend and she always have this dilemma of picking items that are of the same color! What is the deal with that?
 

Mick IOM

Coaching Member
Joined
Mar 15, 2018
Messages
63
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What we men must understand is that we're creatures of logic and women even more so. This means that your logical analysis of her behavior isn't very accurate.

If you really want to understand a woman you must tap into their world and leave the logic behind. Logic has its place but to tap into it you must put on your emotional glasses.

I've read a bunch of pick up artists material back in the day so I'll share what I've learned from them.

I don't know how old the woman is but generally, in the early stages of their lives, they want to have a bunch of fun. They want to know that a man can take them on an emotional rollercoaster and experience all emotional spectrums that life has to offer.

As Tony Robbins says, humans crave 6 needs, of which uncertainty is 1. I think if you're ending up with a motorbike rider you crave a little more uncertainty than other girls - this is a generalization, however.

The problem with being "nice" and a "gentlemen" is that women often consider this to be boring. I've had a hard time swallowing that one.

Eventually, they would love to have gentlemen from whom they know that they can protect the family (biological instincts).

What I've personally done to attract more beautiful women into my life is to stop caring so much about if the woman is going to like me or not. Just being more adventurous and playful in conversations and not taking everything so serious what I do. This was pretty hard in the beginning.

But eventually girls start to attract towards you and if you start dating them, that's when you show that you've also got the gentlemen side.

So my advice really is: be yourself in a playful way and don't take the things to serious in the beginning, this creates attraction. And to keep them attracted, even when you're in a relationship, make sure you create a certain environment (you're honest, etc. - 1st human need) but also do some spontaneous things to spice it up (surprise getaway, or something else, doesn't have to involve money - 2nd human need)

Hope this helps,
Mick
 

minz

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2018
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Can I suggest don't try to figure out why a woman does what she does? Ask her questions to help her figure out why she is doing what she is doing and she will share with you. Taking the time to listen and understand are two key things, even if you do not fully get it.

Women and please note this is not the case for all of them, more often than not operate from emotions and sensing. Men also operate from sensing, however, they can go into the intellect to process out the logic and rationale behind something. So when a woman needs help, it could be they are operating from emotions, and on occassions, a man will then try to logically figure it out to fix it - intellectual. There is a disconnect. This can also happen in reverse as I have seen and done this myself. The important part is to listen and understand where you can, generally, both genders figure out the answers they need themselves.

Speaking from experience, I had a relationship with a man that was gentle, nurturing and so kind. I know I deserved this, but based on my upbringing at the time I subconsciously did not believe I deserved it. I was used to the control, rejection and not being treated well. So I sabotaged what I truly deserved, and went back to what I didn't deserve because that is all is I believed I was worthy of. I now have a strong, independent, gentle, nurturing and loving man. I deserve all of it.
 

denydritz

Coaching Member
Joined
May 27, 2018
Messages
106
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In my experience, women desire a man who has mental maturity and social strength. Mental maturity and social strength is related to the biological instinct of survival: men who have these qualities can survive and thrive in 'the wild.' Unfortunately, these qualities can't be measured directly; they can only be estimated through proxies.

The proxies that appear to indicate the qualities above are often related to the 'bad boy' image. A motorbike rider may convey a 'daring' or 'brave' image that's related to mental maturity (regardless of whether the rider actually has these qualities). A 'Playboy' who is popular with women is an indication of social strength (he has many friends and connections).

You can be a gentleman AND display mental maturity and social strength.

I don't particularly subscribe to the 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' thinking. Communication is always a challenge, regardless of the gender and relationship (talking to your Mom or Dad, for instance). The good news is that we can build communication through understanding, as long as we don't have a 'secondary goal' of wanting to understand someone within an arbitrary time window.

Cheers!
 

Mick IOM

Coaching Member
Joined
Mar 15, 2018
Messages
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Men also operate from sensing, however, they can go into the intellect to process out the logic and rationale behind something. So when a woman needs help, it could be they are operating from emotions, and on occasions, a man will then try to logically figure it out to fix it - intellectual. There is a disconnect.
Very well description over here. I agree that when we communicate with each other while one is on the intellectual frequency and the other on an emotional frequency, a disconnect happens indeed.

All the best,
Mick
 

ChaseE

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2018
Messages
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It's like trying out an IOS system on windows. We have different operating systems. Different ways to measure, think and react.

Females are dominated by the emotional side and males are dominated by the logical. When you mix the two you get a well-balanced human.

For me, the best tip I can give in understanding women is that they are not logical (when it comes to relationships) so when you get into a discussion or argument it doesn't matter what is right or wrong logically, it matters what it relatively wrong or right.

If you communicate on a logical playing field it will not compute. You have to communicate on an emotional playing field.