How to stop fearing failiure?

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I want to exercise and to draw, I am motivated to do it but when the time comes all that motivation is gone and I end up not doing it. I believe it because I fear failure, I know that failure is good but maybe for some reason I still refuse it. If its something else that you can point out please let me know. I need to exercise to fix my bad posture and I want to draw to improve my art skills. Those are only two things that I am interested in doing and improving but I don't know-how. Any advice or critique needed will be appreciated!
 

Coach Vernida

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I don't believe that it is because you are afraid of failure. I think you need to focus on the outcome of the situation. What will exercising and drawing give you? Truly want what you will get. See yourself in the outcome of it and that should motivate you more to get started.
 
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The 'want' is there to draw and exercise. Kudos to you! The next step is to start, then make small improvements once you've mastered getting started (even if it means drawing or exercising for 5 minutes or less), then improve using the power of 3, increase weekly by 3 minutes. What happens is that subconsciously you will see the small results and over time these result s add up. I started jogging 2 minutes (1 time around the football field) now I'm going up a hill daily. I know you can! Let me know how it goes. Master getting started!
 

Justin M

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I had this same experience with working out at home. I was really into it and doing it for a month or so, but then I was sidetracked with some important technical things to take care of on my blog. I put off working out at home for a couple of weeks, and focused mainly on my blog,

Yesterday I decided to start working out again, and it felt really great to do so. Sometimes you just have to do the things you know you want to do. Just start small and work your way up.
 

Kopely

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I have been a strength and conditioning coach for the last decade and have been a student of psychology for most of my life. In one way, shape or form, motivating people to do things has been how I have made my living. I think the conversation is much more nuanced. Everyone has different motivators. Some people need negative reinforcers to help them do the "things" they don't want to do. Example- your doctor tells you that you are pre-diabetic and if you don't fix your nutrition and your lack of activity you will become diabetic. Another example is to have an accountability partner. Every time you don't do what your supposed to you have to pay your accountability partner $5.

Another example to reinforce or to shape wanted behaviors is through positive reinforcers. An example of positive reinforcement is that every time you workout you can do something you really like (like watch your favorite Netflix show or treat yourself with your favorite healthy snack).

After working with 100's of athletes and clients I have now learned that you will do what ever you prioritize. If you find that you want something and are unable to do so then you must have the honest conversation with yourself as to what is holding you back.
 

Kopely

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Please DM if you wanted to do a deeper dive into your questions. I think there maybe a few things to talk about here. I think these are several questions you should try and answer:

1) What is actually getting in the way of you exercising and drawing (is it knowledge, motivation or accountability?)
2) What are your prioritizes? Are you not prioritizing exercise and drawing?
3) What are you scared of? Are you actually scared to fail or is it something else?
4) What do you mean by your motivation is gone?
 

Cynthia

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I want ... to exercise to fix my bad posture
Hi,

I've found it's helpful for me to "visit" my current posture from time to time.

What that means for me is to take a peek! By noticing "right now" . . . what is my posture?

And adjust as needed.

Then? Repeat randomly throughout the day.

Hope that's a useful mental exercise.

blessings,
Cynthia
 
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I want to exercise and to draw, I am motivated to do it but when the time comes all that motivation is gone and I end up not doing it. I believe it because I fear failure, I know that failure is good but maybe for some reason I still refuse it. If its something else that you can point out please let me know. I need to exercise to fix my bad posture and I want to draw to improve my art skills. Those are only two things that I am interested in doing and improving but I don't know-how. Any advice or critique needed will be appreciated!
Hi, you posted this a little while back and I've only just joined. But your post stood out to me and (1) I wonder how it's been going for you and (2) offer a couple things that have pushed me forward into doing the things I want to do.

So, how's it going? The drawing and exercise? I have been where you are with regards to wanting to do something and then when it comes down to it, I do nothing.

For me, I was too much "in my head". I focused on past experiences and what if..scenarios and also the future and what the outcome would be. Those thoughts seemed to stop me doing anything.

Instead, I focused on ONLY the day, the moment and Enjoyment. Don't think, just pick up the pencil and draw. Draw anything. It does not matter what you draw, just draw. I repeat. Draw anything, do not think about it. Set your alarm for 45mins. And draw (do not do anything else) for 45mins.

The same with exercise, get up, move your body, stretch, whatever you want to do. Set your alarm for 30 minutes and move, until the alarm goes off.

In both, you will find you feel a little momentum, you feel differently. You have made progress. Also, you may find that when the alarm goes off you want to continue....

To wrap up here. Don't "try" in your head. JUST DO.
 

dhruvsoni

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May 29, 2020
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It's less about failure for sure. It's a mixture of failure, procrastination, etc. One golden rule that fits all is - Just Do!

But how? Start small. Super small. You have built this habit of not doing anything and now your mind is in love with not doing anything. You need to change this. You need to start small. Go so small that you feel like laughing at yourself. For example, let's say the goal is to exercise.

Step 1 - Break it into small parts or milestones. Like - Get up at 6, Gear up with clothes and equipment, Warm-up, First attempt, etc.
Step 2 - Start. On day 1 just get up at 6. Once you do that wait for some time and then go back to your normal life. Don't push yourself to anything else. After some days you will easily wake up at 6.
Step 3 - Just wear your gears and sit. No extra efforts, nothing much needed here. Fall in love with this process.

Proceed gradually.

What exactly you are doing here is training your mind to achieve goals. Once the mind is in confidence it will push itself to go big as it is in need of dopamine that comes from achieving the goals.

And the best part is all this will come effortlessly as it will only take a few seconds daily at the start. Go ahead and try it. Start now and go small.

Dhruv Soni
Sr. Coach
thedreamzbdotcom