How to stop caring what others think of me?

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#1
Hello all,

First-time post on this site, any help would be great.

I want to become a life coach, I believe I would be good at this as I have always had an interest in self-development etc and it really would be a passion for me to help others.

However what's holding me back is I live in a traditional city where traditional jobs ( office jobs, factory, bar work etc etc ) are the norm and I just feel like everyone would think I was weird for not doing the status quo and doing something different.

I know this is silly and I shouldn't care what others think but I can't seem to get over this and it always prevents me from taking the initial steps to becoming a life coach.

And what's worst is I don't have a job just now as was made redundant a while ago so this would be the perfect time to go for it if i can get over this fear of what other people think of me.

Thanks
Garry
 
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#2
Hi Garry,
I have been in some similar situation like this. I'm not that familiar with life coaching sector, but this is what I can suggest practically.
I agree with your dilemma-like situation. I can easily advise and tell you to go for your passion and forget the rest.
I think this fear of people will be there but you need to realize you cannot take initiatives if you are always looking for their approval. Instead focus on what you do and let it take its course.
As far as you job situation is concerned, I'd suggest you to find another one asap so you can fix the issue of paying bills and saving your face in front of friends/society. However, that does not mean you give up your life coaching passion - you can pursue it part-time. This can be challenging or involve a bit of sacrifices like working at nights or weekends. When you stretch and still find your interest has not diminished, it truly indicates real passion and also true commitment...... you may not make it big but you will get fans, followers, etc. Gradually you need to find ways to convert that in to paid-customers or consulting assignments.

When you are doing this side coaching project dont tell anyone you want to become a life coach and ask for approval/feedback, instead say you are practicing this as your research project and people are seeking your advise. I know this sounds like a blunt lie, but believe me the work you do is still true, the second part about "people seeking your advise" is made up. You have to say like this just to let people know you do this, but to stop giving the impression that you are trying something that may or may not work. Also I suggest never ask anyone if it will or will not work. That question is to be put to gurus/experts in your industry. not to your friends or family who have no idea.
If you get a guru in coaching field as your mentor or do work for them, they will give you some clues and paths for you to go. And being a mentor they will tell you how to avoid pitfalls and how to get clients, so that should work. Hope my thoughts help you take a different approach.
Wish you good luck.
 
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#3
Hello many thanks for the reply,

Good solid advice and yes I have spoke to people before about this issue and they have just said 'forget what others think and go pursue your passion' or something along them lines but the thing is for people like me i can't just switch the feelings off of what others think unfortunately

Thanks I may try this different approach and agree that getting a job and doing the coaching part time is the best idea going forward.

Thanks again :)(y)
 

VoV

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#4
Welcome to the forum.
I recommend you to put yourself in the role of a man who is the observer, eg if someone tries something new. They think different things, they criticize you, but they do not really care about your life.
They are criticizing because this is happening right now and is a topic for their thoughts, but they dont care about you at all.
When you realize that these people do not really care - and criticize because they have nothing better to do now - it is much more advisable to learn a healthy lifestyle where you do not care about another person
 
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#5
Welcome to the forum.
I recommend you to put yourself in the role of a man who is the observer, eg if someone tries something new. They think different things, they criticize you, but they do not really care about your life.
They are criticizing because this is happening right now and is a topic for their thoughts, but they dont care about you at all.
When you realize that these people do not really care - and criticize because they have nothing better to do now - it is much more advisable to learn a healthy lifestyle where you do not care about another person
Hey, thanks for the reply and the advice (y) and you are spot on usually people that criticize others when they embark on a new venture or whatever are usually people that have nothing better to do with their time.
 

DayProv

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#6
Hello all,

First-time post on this site, any help would be great.

I want to become a life coach, I believe I would be good at this as I have always had an interest in self-development etc and it really would be a passion for me to help others.

However what's holding me back is I live in a traditional city where traditional jobs ( office jobs, factory, bar work etc etc ) are the norm and I just feel like everyone would think I was weird for not doing the status quo and doing something different.

I know this is silly and I shouldn't care what others think but I can't seem to get over this and it always prevents me from taking the initial steps to becoming a life coach.

And what's worst is I don't have a job just now as was made redundant a while ago so this would be the perfect time to go for it if i can get over this fear of what other people think of me.

Thanks
Garry
Hello, thanks for sharing.

1. People who made fun of you, or think you´re weird, isn´t your friends! So, by taking personally what they think of you, hurt only you. Then, you aren´t living your life. you´re living their lives.

2. If you look at this, almost every person who succeed greatly, did something different. They were considered weird people. Look at Elon Musk, many people tell about him how crazy he is, the same opinion people had about Mark Zuckerberg.

Which one would you like to become at the end of the day? Those two? Or person who do what others do, just to not be considered as a weirdo?

3. If you are shy about it, it´s perfectly okay. You don´t have to be at every TV station from the beginning. Work on your dream in silence, then let the success make the noise. You don´t have to tell every single colleague of your what you´re going to do.

4. As a Lao Tzu said - Do what´s difficult, when it´s easy. So, don´t hesitate, now is the best time to start fulfilling your dream!

I hope this post helps you. Good luck :)
 
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#7
Hello, thanks for sharing.

1. People who made fun of you, or think you´re weird, isn´t your friends! So, by taking personally what they think of you, hurt only you. Then, you aren´t living your life. you´re living their lives.

2. If you look at this, almost every person who succeed greatly, did something different. They were considered weird people. Look at Elon Musk, many people tell about him how crazy he is, the same opinion people had about Mark Zuckerberg.

Which one would you like to become at the end of the day? Those two? Or person who do what others do, just to not be considered as a weirdo?

3. If you are shy about it, it´s perfectly okay. You don´t have to be at every TV station from the beginning. Work on your dream in silence, then let the success make the noise. You don´t have to tell every single colleague of your what you´re going to do.

4. As a Lao Tzu said - Do what´s difficult, when it´s easy. So, don´t hesitate, now is the best time to start fulfilling your dream!

I hope this post helps you. Good luck :)
Wow thanks so much for this, I think your right I think I need to as you have put it 'work on my dream in silence' so work on my goals in the background then once I have a bit of success let that be the inspiration for me to show people who I really am.

Many thanks again :)
 
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#8
If you're really serious about being a life coach, The one thing that you will have to exhibit is CONFIDENCE.
Your confidence is not only going to be your best friend, but it will also be something that your prospective clients will recognize and buy into. As for anyone else that may be giving you a hard time, what do they really know about it? In that situation, you are probably the expert, so be that expert.
 
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#9
If you're really serious about being a life coach, The one thing that you will have to exhibit is CONFIDENCE.
Your confidence is not only going to be your best friend, but it will also be something that your prospective clients will recognize and buy into. As for anyone else that may be giving you a hard time, what do they really know about it? In that situation, you are probably the expert, so be that expert.
I know mate. I am quite a confident person when dealing with other people and I am good with people in general, just this niggling issue where i care too much what others think of me. I know what your saying though with regards to confidence.
 
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#11
Well, let's look at it this way. Let's say you have a coaching client that explains a nagging issue of caring too much about what other people think of him. How would you coach that person?
 
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#12
Internal silence. The practice of dissociation with yourself. Try to sit there and recognize yourself as another person. As you're not you. 5 minutes a day, a few minutes a day. Sit there with your eyes half closed and just listen to your thoughts and emotions until you can focus on nothing but presence aka just your senses
 

Jackie M

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#13
Hello all,

First-time post on this site, any help would be great.

I want to become a life coach, I believe I would be good at this as I have always had an interest in self-development etc and it really would be a passion for me to help others.

However what's holding me back is I live in a traditional city where traditional jobs ( office jobs, factory, bar work etc etc ) are the norm and I just feel like everyone would think I was weird for not doing the status quo and doing something different.

I know this is silly and I shouldn't care what others think but I can't seem to get over this and it always prevents me from taking the initial steps to becoming a life coach.

And what's worst is I don't have a job just now as was made redundant a while ago so this would be the perfect time to go for it if i can get over this fear of what other people think of me.

Thanks
Garry
Hi Garry,

I'm near the end of my qualification in personal development coaching.
The academy I'm studying with, holds a 2 day course that is absolutely free. I initially was skeptical and fearful, but it has changed my life, I'm glad I went, the way I think and see now is so different, and it has really provided me with the stepping stones to move towards my desires.

If you want, I'm happy to offer you some coaching sessions in this area to help move from where you are to where you want to be. I'll be willing to cover the cost of 6 sessions in exchange for a testimonial?
No pressure, it's totally up to you, you don't have to accept, but if you are interested, inbox me your email address and I'll send you further details. I started studying coaching because I wanted to help empower individuals, and see them maximise their potential, because everyone has the potential to be great no matter who they are.
 
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#14
Well, let's look at it this way. Let's say you have a coaching client that explains a nagging issue of caring too much about what other people think of him. How would you coach that person?
Perfect strategy! The best way to deal with our own dilemmas is by pretending the dilemma is one of your friends. What would advice would you offer them?
 
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#15
Hi Garry,

I'm near the end of my qualification in personal development coaching.
The academy I'm studying with, holds a 2 day course that is absolutely free. I initially was skeptical and fearful, but it has changed my life, I'm glad I went, the way I think and see now is so different, and it has really provided me with the stepping stones to move towards my desires.

If you want, I'm happy to offer you some coaching sessions in this area to help move from where you are to where you want to be. I'll be willing to cover the cost of 6 sessions in exchange for a testimonial?
No pressure, it's totally up to you, you don't have to accept, but if you are interested, inbox me your email address and I'll send you further details. I started studying coaching because I wanted to help empower individuals, and see them maximise their potential, because everyone has the potential to be great no matter who they are.
Hi Jackie!

What an amazing offer! Would that extend to anyone else?

Thanks!
 

denydritz

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#16
Hey Duncan, you say that you feel everyone would think you're weird for deciding to be a life coach.

When you say everyone, do you have specific people in mind? Who specifically do you predict would say you are weird for being a life coach? Can you describe the situation where they say it to you?

Caring about what others think of you is a self-image issue. Instead of working towards the goal of being a life coach and helping people, you are working to protect the goal of maintaining a self-image that is secure and not threatened.

These two goals often conflict with each other, as taking a risk and being a life coach means you need to risk "injuring" your self-image based on how you predict others will see you. The real question you ask is why is your self-image more important (perhaps the most important) thing you want to protect right now?
 
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#17
When I first started my Youtube channel and joined my sisters startup, I got a lot of backlash. People made fun of me. People told me why I got a college degree if I was going to join family business. I used to be a HUGE people pleaser. The key is just to do it. Let people talk about you. You need to continue to do you and people will come around. If they don't then those are not the people you should be hanging out with.