How to rid off shyness

speedy

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I grew up in the province and half of my life I was hiding because I am shy. Shy to talk to people and I want to be invisible. I am very active in school and an honor student. But after class I go quiet in one corner or stay most of the my free time in the Library. I have friends but very close one. When, my mother asked me to buy something on the store I will hide if somebody approaching towards me.

What is your recommendation and advice to the children or people who possessed such character? I don't want them to be like them as they will miss some most exciting part of their lives.
 

Milton

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I don't think shyness is a problem really. Personally I'm an introvert so I do not like to converse with others face-to-face as well, but I find that I have a couple good friends who are always there for me and that is enough. It is important that you do what you want to do and need to do, there is no need for you to force yourself to do anything unnecessary. If perhaps there is a project to be done that requires working with a lot of people, then you need to prioritise and I truly believe shyness will be placed aside. Try to enjoy yourself in whatever you do and keep your mind off unimportant things like wondering how others may perceive you to be.
 

speedy

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I don't think shyness is a problem really. Personally I'm an introvert so I do not like to converse with others face-to-face as well, but I find that I have a couple good friends who are always there for me and that is enough. It is important that you do what you want to do and need to do, there is no need for you to force yourself to do anything unnecessary. If perhaps there is a project to be done that requires working with a lot of people, then you need to prioritise and I truly believe shyness will be placed aside. Try to enjoy yourself in whatever you do and keep your mind off unimportant things like wondering how others may perceive you to be.
Thank you very much for this wonderful piece of advice. My mother always angry at me when I was a child because I am shy to talk to people. I would better go alone and doing something because I felt like they will just laugh at me if I will say something wrong. But now, I already have the courage to mingled with people which is having a positive and negative effect.
 

mslianne

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Hi there! It is a bit sad to hear that you were a bit low on your self-esteem when you were young. I don't think that you are to be blamed for anything. A person can be an extrovert who is out-going, and a person can also be an introvert or a bit shy. At least you have friends. Having one close friend is better than many friends who don't really know the real you.

I think my advice for shy people is to not be afraid. People are shy because they're afraid of being humiliated. I have had that problem earlier, but when I became comfortable with myself, I have conquered this. :) Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself sometimes and just let go! ;)
 

speedy

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Hi there! It is a bit sad to hear that you were a bit low on your self-esteem when you were young. I don't think that you are to be blamed for anything. A person can be an extrovert who is out-going, and a person can also be an introvert or a bit shy. At least you have friends. Having one close friend is better than many friends who don't really know the real you.

I think my advice for shy people is to not be afraid. People are shy because they're afraid of being humiliated. I have had that problem earlier, but when I became comfortable with myself, I have conquered this. :) Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself sometimes and just let go! ;)
Yes you are right, I had a lot of fears when I was young it was since my father left when I was 4. I used to be quiet and didn't much and keep on working. The good thing about my being shyness is that I am active in school and I always had an award. I considered library and books are my friends when I was young. It makes me really laugh at myself when you said " Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself sometimes and just let go!". I need to do it sometimes. Thanks for the wonderful share friends...
 

angela

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When I was a little girl, I'm shy too. When I was in high school, my eldest brother told me that shyness is one kind of sickness. Since he is my eldest brother without researching about it, I just believed in his statement. Due to shyness I did not join extra curricular activities like dancing, singing, declamation and others that would perform in front of many. But I really need to have extracurricular activities to increase my grade, then I joined contests like quiz bees, writing or drawing contests. These don't require performing in audience, but this develop me to converse with other contestants. These way I gained friends, and confidence follows. In college I joined a badminton team. After college, I worked as instructor that requires to talk and discuss in front of students. I think I conquered shyness by meeting friends and engaging into activities that I am interested.
 

speedy

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When I was a little girl, I'm shy too. When I was in high school, my eldest brother told me that shyness is one kind of sickness. Since he is my eldest brother without researching about it, I just believed in his statement. Due to shyness I did not join extra curricular activities like dancing, singing, declamation and others that would perform in front of many. But I really need to have extracurricular activities to increase my grade, then I joined contests like quiz bees, writing or drawing contests. These don't require performing in audience, but this develop me to converse with other contestants. These way I gained friends, and confidence follows. In college I joined a badminton team. After college, I worked as instructor that requires to talk and discuss in front of students. I think I conquered shyness by meeting friends and engaging into activities that I am interested.
What you did is a very good example to over come shyness. I guess, most of them are victims or subject of this character when we are young but then we developed as we grow older by mean of meeting people and due to our experiences. I grew up in the province and left when I was 16 and go to the city. When I go back in our place, I start talking and communicating my neighbors and other people and they noticed the changed in me. I told them, that I learn how to talk now, but in a right way.

Thanks for sharing your experienced with us Angela.
 

MoreSuccess

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I only conquered the shyness I had during the earlier part of my life by eventually building up my self esteem. I think I had to prove to myself that I was worthy by getting a better job, girlfriend, and things to feel better about myself. It shouldn't be that way but was for me. Now I know shyness is all in your head and wish I had conquered it much earlier in life. I think people need to realize too that while shyness isn't good, it's ok to be an introvert, we are just born that way. My father was an extrovert and I'm an introvert which caused a clash quite a bit and made me feel like something was wrong with me. One trainer said once that extroverts gain energy from social events, but introverts are the opposite, they gain energy from being alone and get their energy drained at social events.
 

iebo

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I don't think you can ever get rid of shyness, but you can learn to overcome it. It helps to take gradual steps in overcoming something as debilitating as shyness. Try just talking to a neighbor you don't know, get comfortable having conversations with people you don't really know. Get comfortable with having a voice and an opinion. I think sometimes people seem shy when they simply don't want to tell the other person how annoying they are. Their respectfulness is misconstrued as shyness.
Remember that in 100 years, we will all be dead and none of this will have mattered. If you try striking up a conversation and goes poorly, it doesn't really matter. And, at least you tried. You never know when you might make a good friend, so go for it.
 

Caroline

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I grew up very, very shy and completely lacking in self esteem and confidence. In my early twenties I hated myself so much I decided to change no matter what. One thing I did was pretend. I pretended I wasn't shy and had no confidence, I acted as if I could do the things I wanted to do. It was very frightening to talk with people and get involved in things but I forced myself each time and gradually convinced myself I could do these things. Another thing to do is get your focus off yourself. When talking with someone, focus on them and actively listen to what they have to say. I am still an introvert but I now do public speaking regularly, lead workshops and have even been interviewed on live television. Facing my fears and acting "as if" made a huge difference in my life.
 

psych0s0c1al

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In my experience, the best way to get rid of shyness is to be thrust into situations that will test your shyness. Like having to speak in front of large crowds or something. It sucks at the time, but it really helps in the end.
 

beingwell

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I am pretty sure I was an introvert when I was still in high school. As I grew up, I learned that I needed to socialize more in order to learn more. I knew I wanted to have more friends so I can easily walk up to someone and not be shy about it. Like everything else in life, it takes practice to develop into a more sociable person.
 

speedy

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I would advise starting small rather than jumping to large crowds immediately if you have the choice. However, being forced into the situation can make you realize your worst fears are probably unlikely to happen.
Yes, right. Starting in a small group to gain self-confidence and self-esteem..That's a good idea...Thank you.
 

Cecil Estrera

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I've had the same situation back when I was still in grade school. I was a bit nerdy that time and all my best friends were just books and and notebooks and pen. I was too aloof with people that I never talked to anyone that I just met. Even the ones that weren't new to me seemed to avoid me too. I am just so insecure of myself. Maybe I got that insecurity back when I was still playing with my classmates and I did not played well so they always laughed at me from then on.

Growing up, not being confident was a big deal for me. Fortunately, when I reached college and gained more true friends, I was able to overcome my insecurities. Them giving me enough words of encouragement made me feel like I am worthy and I can do whatever I want to if I would just believe in myself.
 

francrislee

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I was also like that before, loner a bit weird in a way. (haha!) Back in my childhood days, I was never friendly, not even participative in class, but I managed to get an award, the "perfect attendance" award. (hahaha!).

I just happened to overcome it when I reached highschool. I was prompted to run for Supreme Student Council President, after all the campaigns and everything, my self confidence shoot up and I began to be the talk of town in our school. That was how I managed to transform myself from being ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. :)
 

zararina

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Letting children to interact with other children could help them overcome their shyness. Children who seems to be actively playing games with their peers and into sports or extra curricular activities in school build more confidence in themselves. Boosting their moral and giving them inspiration to believe in their abilities could give them confidence to face others.
 

diamondlisa

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I don't think there is anything wrong with being a shy person, as long as you have those few close people that you are able to open up to and talk. I have always been an out going person that wasn't afraid to meet new people and talking to anyone. However, I raised a daughter that was completely opposite. Why this is, I do not know. It was just her nature I guess. She was a very sweet girl in school and still is so people were always trying to talk to her and get her to do things but she was always just content reading, playing her guitar, and hanging out with mom and her 2 best friends. She is now a cosmologist and talks to everyone but still enjoys her alone time. Be proud of who you are and never feel forced to do anything just because other are doing it. You sound like a beautiful person to me.
 

clauemi

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I know exactly how you feel, I am a super shy person but I think it's because our mother alienated us throughout our youth. I found it very hard to make friends in school and then later at work. Sometimes my shyness has been misinterpreted as being 'stuck up' or arrogant but it's just me being myself. I really don't like being shy but I just can't help it. I wish I could change that about myself because I don't want my kids to take after me and think it's ok to be shy. I consider it ok to be a little shy but deep shyness makes life harder, at least it did for me. I find it hard to build relationships.
 

AmazingP

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You know what, we have the same problem. Even up to now, I am still a very shy person and I get conscious when I go out of the house. Thanks to the internet, I could easily socialize online but in reality am finding it hard. I was also an honor student back in my elementary and high school days but my life then was school and house only with very limited or rare socialization. I now realized that this kind of orientation is not really good because now I fully see that in most cases extrovert people have more chances to be successful and really made it. Parents who have shy kids should gradually encourage their children to get out of their shell and socialize more.