How to be an attractive person?

yanzg

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"To attract attractive people, you must be attractive. To attract powerful people, you must be powerful. To attract committed people, you must be committed. Instead of going to work on them, you go to work on yourself. If you become, you can attract." -- Jim Rohn
 

yanzg

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Feel free to post any thoughts and comments about this quote :)
 

Isantis Tao

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Yes! In pickup artistry this is what is called the "Inner Game". SO while there are attractive behaviors that you should display on the outside, such as being confident, non-needy, friendly, social, funny, flirty, interesting, etc....these all really start from within. In order to be seen by the world around you as attractive you must see yourself as attractive and cultivate an attractive self image from within that will then get projected to the world outside of you. This means that things such as confidence start not with acting in a confident way, but forcing yourself to really FEEL confident about who you are so that you can actually step into that role of confident successful person. And this means that being funny doesnt start with just making jokes...it starts with being self amused. WHen you cultivate all of these aspects within yourself then you can act much more accordingly and congruently, and will be seen as the attractive person you really now are!

If you are interested in learning more about this kind of material and cultivating yourself in a way that is conducive to relationships you can check out my site, I have a whole division for social science called "True Life Relationships". I think that relationships are a very important part of self actualization and the law of attraction in general, and that people can create a more attractive personality to others that will bring the people into their lives that they want, which will allow them to live in the way that they want. ANd having the people you want in your life really does allow you to have success, because it takes a village for any one person to succeed!
 

MyDigitalpoint

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"To attract attractive people, you must be attractive. To attract powerful people, you must be powerful. To attract committed people, you must be committed. Instead of going to work on them, you go to work on yourself. If you become, you can attract." -- Jim Rohn

Very true, we are what we think about us.

If we conceive us like losers, this thought will become true, as it is for whatever else one has in mind picturing oneself.

However we forget about the wise concepts enclosed in the above quotation.
 

pokladnicka

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You attract what you are. You find what you need in life, not what you want. You make "crash" where there is a lesson to learn that it is not possible to learn other way. And life is not easy nor it should.
 

Priya32325

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To attract... Be yourself . Don't try be someone else you will attract right kind of people you actually like being with them. Be polite , kind and ready to help simple .
Everyone in the world like GOODNESS.
 
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In other words, birds of the same feather flock together.

But there are different types of attraction. You can attract the attention of people in a positive way or a negative way. If you want to have a positive impression, try to act like they act. If you want a negative impression, try to act the way they don't. If you want to attract the people who you will be true to you, just be yourself and don't act like somebody else.
 

Isantis Tao

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To attract... Be yourself . Don't try be someone else you will attract right kind of people you actually like being with them. Be polite , kind and ready to help simple .
Everyone in the world like GOODNESS.

This is the biggest crock of s**t you will ever hear. Ignorant idealistic women love saying stuff like this. Why? Lack of social intelligence. Because that is what they are programmed to do through their social conditioning. And also because that is the role they are programmed into. A passive role of waiting for the right person to show up. Unfortunately this doesnt work like that, not for men, and even some women. Some of us have to actually be proactive and put in effort into trying to find and get mates. And also in the mating game, its not so simple as just be a kind polite good person and people will go along with you. People play games, and oftentimes being too nice is seen as supplication or weakness. This type of thinking is idealistic but like most idealistic types of thinking, it will not get you anywhere in the REAL WORLD. Every single person I coach in relationship development in my company, True Life Relationships are people who thought it was that simple, but realized the hard way that it isnt. Human beings are complicated social animals, they do not all live by one simple philosophy, and trying to act like they do shows a devastating lack of social intelligence.
 

Isantis Tao

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In other words, birds of the same feather flock together.

But there are different types of attraction. You can attract the attention of people in a positive way or a negative way. If you want to have a positive impression, try to act like they act. If you want a negative impression, try to act the way they don't. If you want to attract the people who you will be true to you, just be yourself and don't act like somebody else.


So how does one act like oneself or somebody else? All behavior is learned through modelling yourself after others...

Saying "Be yourself" and "Dont act like something your not" is a paradox that has no real meaning. Its new age individualist propaganda that is meant to stop peoples learning from others and break up our sense of communal consciousness. You think you are empowering yourself by thinking like this but you are actually disempowering yourself by cutting yourself off from your sources of knowledge and personality, which is other people.

You cant ever act like something you are not. You cant ever not be yourself. Everything you do is being yourself, it always has been and always will be. And it was ALWAYS learned from other sources, through direct modelling or inspiration, one way or another, your behaviors were learned from others.

If you were to truly "not ever act like something you were not" you would live your whole life in a psychological state of infancy. Why don't you try for 5 minutes to go about your life not behaving in any ways you didnt learn from someone else. It's impossible.

Even thinking thoughts that werent inspired from sources outside of yourself is impossible.
 

flad264

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This is correct. Attractive people are people that have actually lives and are not just sitting around waiting for people to come into their lives. I am a very adventurous person and I like learning new things and exploring things in life and many women and people have told me that there is just something that is attractive about me. They say I operate as if I had no care in the world. This is simply what it all boils down to not really caring about what other people think about you and enjoying every ounce of your life because in reality we are only here for a limited time anyway.

Be confident and comfortable in your life and in your skin first and then you will attract such into your life.
 

gigstalksguy

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I used to be told to just 'be yourself' many times, when it comes to finding friends, partners and being more socially attractive. Though well intentioned, for someone that struggles socially it is the most irritating thing to be told. Think about if you can't act as someone else, then you're always being yourself anyway, and yet you're still getting rejected. It's the type of advice you tend to hear from socially savvy types, that have been a social natural for a long time. They haven't had to think about these things much, and 'being themself' works for them, so in their mind, it works for you.

So how do you become more attractive? Firstly, it's a question of learning the basic communication skills that make someone more socially attractive, including body language, and simple conversation techniques that result in conversations becoming easier and more fun for those around you.

Secondly, attraction is relevant to the environment you're in. For me, as a musician, I know I will be far more attractive naturally if I'm playing my guitar in a pub somewhere doing a gig, than I will be if I just walk into a nightclub on my own with no particular role to play. So I try to position myself in environments and situations where I will come over as more attractive. Often this means knowing your strengths, understanding what roles you play in someone's life that highlights your strengths and positioning yourself in these situations.
 

Isantis Tao

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Thats exactly right! You're always "being yourself"...and if you are struggling socially there is no way to be yourself more so that people will like you more...its about calibration. You need to actually learn social skills and how to calibrate to various social situations so that you can succeed in them. And to attract friends and romantic partners, you need to know what traits are attractive so you can cultivate a more attractive social persona, and moreover what attractive traits and strengths you have naturally so you can play to those.

Social status is a huge attractive trait that makes people gravitate towards you, you are right. And if you have situations in which you have it, those are great to use. However you should not become dependant upon situations in which you have status to be able to attract friends and romantic prospects. For instance I am a night club promoter...which I became to help conquor that social environment which was foreign and scary to me...however now that I have mastered it if I rely upon that social situation to pick up women I am actually limiting myself, because I also love going to parks and seminars and such...and do not want to feel like I am out of my element there now...which I certainly could if I do not work on other ways of meeting people in these environments. You see status is relative. You can have it in one situation, and not have it in another, and thus look great in one, and like a dumbass in the other...but being so relative you can also make it seem as though you always have status all the time, but developing strong social characteristics.

I see you have a social training website, I have one of my own called True Life Relationships: http://truelifedevelopment.com/true-life-relationships/

I'm gonna check out your site, why dont you check out mine, and then we can continue talking about this. It sounds like we are very much on teh same page.
 

gigstalksguy

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Hey Isantis, thanks for checking mine out, I've posted a comment on yours and would love to network with you.

Interesting what you say about not wanting to rely on status to be more socially attractive. I guess it depends on what stage your at and what you're aiming to achieve. My thinking is that if you don't have status in one area where it would help you, why not take steps to gain it? With that said, as my work is directed to asperger's types (whether formally diagnosed or not) I am looking to discover the easiest ways for them to succeed socially, and I believe that this is best done by 'positioning.' The ideology of the 'ultimate alpha male' may be to be capable of seducing women absolutely anywhere, but not everyone aspires to this type of goal or feels the need to. For most people, it's simply a question of finding the best way to meet their needs when it comes to a social life.

Interesting thoughts nonetheless, and I'll look forward to hearing more from you.
 

Isantis Tao

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Well because you cant have status in every situation. You cant walk into a grocery store there and suddenly be a CEO of a company. Or you cant walk into a park and suddenly be a park ranger. Theres just no way to do that. What you can do is, as I said, develop high status behaviors that will give you social dominance in any situation. This is one of the things I teach in my company, among many other things.

Anyways do you have a facebook or linkedin profile where we can talk privately?
 

Danielki

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It depends on what you define as attractive. There are lots of people who are physically attractive but are pretty ugly inside. There are also some physically unattractive people who are absolutely gorgeous inside. We can all be attractive in the sense that we can attract people, things and situations into our lives through our actions; whether we're rich or poor, good looking or ugly, tall or short, fat or thin. How attractive we are will often be determined by the largest number of people saying yes to something in relation to a smaller number of people saying no to something. What's attractive to one person may not be the same to another.
 

kathyjoyce

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Working on yourself first is essential. Attractiveness is different in everyone's eyes, but the key thing is how you feel about yourself. Learn to love yourself first, no matter what your outward appearance is, and smile! You will then project an air of confidence, and seem attractive as well. I think being powerful comes as you gain confidence. You can the illusion of being powerful and confident with body language. For example standing tall with your shoulders back.
 

Kam

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I think It will depend on your idea, thinking and behavior. If you communicate with many people in your daily routine, then you can easily attract another person.
 

kathyjoyce

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I think being attractive means loving yourself and having compassion for others. Having a positive outlook and loving yourself for who you you are will raise your level of vibration, attracting positive, and likewise attractive people towards you. You can become more powerful by developing self confidence, and working on your self image.
 

Danielki

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I think the challenge is always the same; bringing something forth into your life that doesn't seem to at present exist.

If you're attractive you already have attractive people you're life.

If you're successful you have success.

If you're committed you keep your commitments.


But what if you're not attractive but you want attractive people in your life. Are you becoming someone attractive to attract attractive people into your life? Or are you revealing something that was already present in you that needed to be uncovered?