How do you deal with an emotional vampire?

moneymakingmom

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An emotional vampire is someone who is constantly complaining and griping and being negative. They suck all the positive fun aspects of every situation making you feel tired and listless.

You can recognize an emotional vampire cause they always want to dwell on the depressive things of their day. And, maybe that's just their way of venting steam. Unfortunately, this catharsis comes at a high price for anyone listening.

Have you ever met an emotional vampire? How do you rid your life of such negative people?
 

Yolanda

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I've met emotional vampires. The thing that I find the most hard about them is that they tend to repeat themselves. It's not like they vent about different things, they complain about the same things over and over again. I once confronted an emotional vampire by telling her that she made me feel exhausted after her stories. That I do feel sorry for her, but that she wore me out by telling only depressed stories. She was shocked to hear that, she didn't feel like she'd complain a lot and she tried to change her ways. I've known other emotional vampires though, that weren't open to this kind of feedback. No matter how friendly or professionally you try to tell them. Perhaps they aren't ready for a change yet. I decided to see that person a little less, just to make it more comfortable and bare-able when we did see each other. I'd have the energy to listen when she'd come over less.
I've met a male emotional vampire just once, it seems a tendency that they are female :p
 

moneymakingmom

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I've met emotional vampires. The thing that I find the most hard about them is that they tend to repeat themselves. It's not like they vent about different things, they complain about the same things over and over again. I once confronted an emotional vampire by telling her that she made me feel exhausted after her stories. That I do feel sorry for her, but that she wore me out by telling only depressed stories. She was shocked to hear that, she didn't feel like she'd complain a lot and she tried to change her ways. I've known other emotional vampires though, that weren't open to this kind of feedback. No matter how friendly or professionally you try to tell them. Perhaps they aren't ready for a change yet. I decided to see that person a little less, just to make it more comfortable and bare-able when we did see each other. I'd have the energy to listen when she'd come over less.
I've met a male emotional vampire just once, it seems a tendency that they are female :p
I've known a good many people like that before, mostly women though. And, that's not to say anything disparaging about women, being a female myself. Just that all of my friends are female. Anyway, I really do believe that most emotional vampires are that way by accident. It's possible they are trying to rehash a very bad situation again and again cause they need to work it out. These people are in pain and truly need help. They are not trying to be evil or bring others down. Maybe it's a coping technique, where if they can keep talking about that situation then a solution will come to light.

In that kind of situation there are only two solutions. First, you can help the person solve their problem, assuming they are open to such a thing and there is actually a solution available. Or, second insist they get professional counseling to deal with the emotional issues involved. Simply solving the problem that is bothering them (the thing they keep talking about) should actually be enough to stop their emotional vampire ways.
 

iebo

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I do what I can to stay away from them. I've stayed away from friends because they were just always complaining and whining. Did you see the most recent episode of South Park? Stan becomes cynical about everything and his friends abandon him. A negative Nancy isn't popular to be around.
 

moneymakingmom

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I do what I can to stay away from them. I've stayed away from friends because they were just always complaining and whining. Did you see the most recent episode of South Park? Stan becomes cynical about everything and his friends abandon him. A negative Nancy isn't popular to be around.
That's so right! No one likes negative people, not even negative people! How ironic! They don't mind complaining, but if you start complaining about bad luck or the lousy day you just had, they'll run off. Negative people are usually more concerned with their own troubles and not yours.
 

MoreSuccess

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I have someone like that in my life, not all the time but too frequently. I'm generally a positive person, so strong negativity is like two opposing forces coming together and very uncomfortable. I generally try to quickly extract myself from the situation and just get away from the person altogether. It seems like the sooner I can do so, the less it will bring me down. I figure it also sends a clear message to another person that their behavior will drive me away and not achieve their apparent goal of venting.
 

Cecil Estrera

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Well some people around me can be sooo negative at times that they tend to contradict in whatever I say.
And that is not so good for me. I know whenever I am right and when I am, I don't want anyone to go against me.
But I don't argue with them at all. I just let them be.
 

zararina

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Yes, i have friends that seems to be so pessimistic and it kind f hard making them happy on simple things. I always give them advise that they would not get anything good on being so negative in life. What you think sometimes or more often are the things that will happen. I just share to them my views as a optimistic person and hope them well.