how do I improve myself?

anindya

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Aug 12, 2019
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i am really struggling with focusing on what's important rather than focusing on stuff that is not important. I cannot get out of bed in the morning and cannot improve any aspects of life. i cannot talk to people confidently.

i really need help. if you can help me please write some suggestions down below. it would really help.

thanks for reading this.
 

WHSharon

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Jul 27, 2019
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I think you really need to clarify your ideas and your emotions. Try to write down every aspect of your life you'd like to change, and work on them one at a time. "Multitasking" is counterproductive in these situations, so you can't expect to drastically live a new life from one day to the next, 'cause habits require time to become settled. Once you've decided what to work on, I recommend the 90-90 challenge: you have to work on your main goal for the first 90 minutes of your morning, for the next 90 days. So, if your problem is talking to people, you should improve your self-esteem and your relationships with others. There are lots of books that deal with these topics! Good luck.
 

buildingdiscipine07

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Aug 13, 2019
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Hello Anindya,

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. In order to help you focus on what's important and what's not important, it's best to figure out what your true values are. That way you're not aiming towards goals that may not really fulfill you or make you feel better.

Something that has helped me is first identifying the feeling I want to have. So before telling yourself the things you want or the things you want to change, ask yourself "how do I want to feel?" The feelings that come to your mind can tell you a lot about the direction you want to go in. For example, you might want to feel valued, you might want to feel excitement for life or you might want to feel serenity. Whatever it may be, focus on them.

Then, you can determine your values. I personally want to feel loved. I also want to feel free. That means I place tremendous value on positive interactions with others and being the one that determines how I spend 100% of my time. Because of this, I set goals that will make this a reality. Goals like improving my social skills/creating quality relationships, and the goal to be financially free. That's just an example. It's different for everyone :)

If you want to start working on your goals, I second the 90-90 challenge that WHSharon mentioned.
If you feel like you haven't developed the habit of discipline yet, then I'd suggest starting small. For example you could give your self tiny tasks every day that you commit to completing no matter what. After a time of this you can tack on bigger things.

I hope this is helpful!
 

denydritz

Coaching Member
Joined
May 27, 2018
Messages
103
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83
i am really struggling with focusing on what's important rather than focusing on stuff that is not important.
Hi @anindya Do you mean to say that you focus more on the stuff that's not important? Then focusing on the stuff that's important should be simple; shift your focus to what's important :)

Since you can already focus on some things, move that focus to the things that are important.

I cannot get out of bed in the morning and cannot improve any aspects of life.
I want to say you can get out of bed in the morning, unless you have some physical disability, like paralysis, that prevents you from doing so? Do you have paralysis?

Assuming your health is good, the statement is you don't want to get out of bed in the morning? Why don't you want to to get out of bed in the morning?

Do you get out of bed at all? If so, what time? What is it about that time that makes you get out of bed?

Asking these questions can lead you the answers that reveal more about your problem. It also helps with improving your life, if you can begin improving by asking the right questions.

i cannot talk to people confidently.
You don't have to talk to people confidently, it's not important. What's important is to have something important to say when you talk to other people. As long as you say something important to the right people, they will hear you regardless of how you speak.


 

Oscardave

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Joined
Aug 20, 2019
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i am really struggling with focusing on what's important rather than focusing on stuff that is not important. I cannot get out of bed in the morning and cannot improve any aspects of life. i cannot talk to people confidently.

i really need help. if you can help me please write some suggestions down below. it would really help.

thanks for reading this.
Hallo there,

I can totally relate to your situation. I was once in your situation a while back. I wanted to improve the quality of my life but then I found myself wasting my day away on things that are of no much importance like Whatsapp, Instagram and Youtube videos, to name a few.

I had been employed but I had the luxury of working from home so you can imagine all the freedom I had.

But one thing happened that made wake up from this "sleep".

See that job I mentioned I had? One day I was threatened with getting laid off because I was not performing well.

Actually, I never made anything in terms of revenue for 2 whole weeks and the place I was living was rented. I was actually paying rent with the job I was not taking seriously.

That is when it dawned on me that I was about to go broke and slide into the thing that had scarred my whole life, that is poverty.

Things get pretty thick when you don’t have money and that is when you realize how serious life is and punishing to people who are not serious.

Frankly speaking, I would wish you don’t wait to get to that point I was because it can get very depressing.

My advice to you is to start training your mind and body for the things you want to be, as soon as now.

First, take your time to think and plan your life. Ask yourself what you love doing as a job or career, and plan on how to go about it.

If it is education, enroll for the course that suits the passion or get a job that will help you raise the money if you are not well off.

Have something you are working towards every day.

Also, start using self development programs that steer you towards the direction of your life.

There are programs that can help you train your subconscious for strong personal attributes.

And while there are many out there, I personally recommend one or two of these : Subliminal Guru, Raikov Effect, Subliminal 360, Hypnosis Bootcamp, Zen 12, The NO - BS Manifesting course, Brainwave shots, Nitrofocus or Brain salon.

Based on the plan you have made, use any of them that suits you and be consistent with them.

It is recommended that you use them early in the morning when your mind is still fresh.

By being consistent and not too hard on yourself, you will come to see great change a few months from now.

About social anxiety, I recommend using the subliminal messages program (Subliminal Guru and look for a session on social anxiety, really valuable) or hypnosis sessions (Hypnosis live, and look for a session on anxiety).

They help train your subconscious mind for confidence. But you have to practice what you get from them. That is the only way to get good, lasting results.

I hope this helps.

Cheers.

Dave
Editor at Improve Your Brain Power
 

tenstiks

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Sep 11, 2019
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The fastest and simplest way I found to get better and start improving my life was to start thinking about what I feel grateful for. Focus on what you do have rather than what you don’t have. Think about what or who you would like to become and tell yourself you will become that person or have those things. Also, Listen to spiritual leaders like Joyce Meyer, Joel Olsteen and Benny Hinn on YouTube. Here I s a great video and several inspirational leaders to help get you going
 

WilltoPowerThrough

New Member
Joined
Sep 21, 2019
Messages
5
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so i guess we have all been there. cant get motivated, keep procrastinating, dont really know what it is we want, and just being preety negative in general. it sounds really unhelpful but i really believe you are the only one who can help yourself.
but here are a few things that help me:
reading books and opening to new ideas.
look for advice from other people.
find a way for you to help and give value to others.
learn lots of new subject and hobbies to see what is really fun for you and keep doing it.

also if you want to change some things in your life i just posted my first video on youtube about change:

dm me if you need more help or just to talk. ill be happy to help :)
 
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