how do I improve myself?

anindya

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Joined
Aug 12, 2019
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2
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i am really struggling with focusing on what's important rather than focusing on stuff that is not important. I cannot get out of bed in the morning and cannot improve any aspects of life. i cannot talk to people confidently.

i really need help. if you can help me please write some suggestions down below. it would really help.

thanks for reading this.
 

WHSharon

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Jul 27, 2019
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I think you really need to clarify your ideas and your emotions. Try to write down every aspect of your life you'd like to change, and work on them one at a time. "Multitasking" is counterproductive in these situations, so you can't expect to drastically live a new life from one day to the next, 'cause habits require time to become settled. Once you've decided what to work on, I recommend the 90-90 challenge: you have to work on your main goal for the first 90 minutes of your morning, for the next 90 days. So, if your problem is talking to people, you should improve your self-esteem and your relationships with others. There are lots of books that deal with these topics! Good luck.
 

buildingdiscipine07

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Aug 13, 2019
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Hello Anindya,

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. In order to help you focus on what's important and what's not important, it's best to figure out what your true values are. That way you're not aiming towards goals that may not really fulfill you or make you feel better.

Something that has helped me is first identifying the feeling I want to have. So before telling yourself the things you want or the things you want to change, ask yourself "how do I want to feel?" The feelings that come to your mind can tell you a lot about the direction you want to go in. For example, you might want to feel valued, you might want to feel excitement for life or you might want to feel serenity. Whatever it may be, focus on them.

Then, you can determine your values. I personally want to feel loved. I also want to feel free. That means I place tremendous value on positive interactions with others and being the one that determines how I spend 100% of my time. Because of this, I set goals that will make this a reality. Goals like improving my social skills/creating quality relationships, and the goal to be financially free. That's just an example. It's different for everyone :)

If you want to start working on your goals, I second the 90-90 challenge that WHSharon mentioned.
If you feel like you haven't developed the habit of discipline yet, then I'd suggest starting small. For example you could give your self tiny tasks every day that you commit to completing no matter what. After a time of this you can tack on bigger things.

I hope this is helpful!