How can I recover from losing them?



Four months ago, I lost the two important ladies in my life--- my lovely wife and my daughter. The most heartbreaking scene in my life was when the doctor told me he and his company cannot save both of them. It was really devastating. I didn’t even know how to react. I even blamed myself for that. Eventually, I realized everything happens for a reason. Before my wife and I got married, I already knew that she won’t be able to bear a child because she has a heart problem. However, we still tried. I was actually hesitant to do so but my wife insisted. I wanted it too because I cared for her health. Yet, I still agreed. She even told me to save our daughter if anything bad happens but the doctor himself told me it was impossible to do. I understood it though; it was just really painful for me. Up until now, I’m still grieving for their death. How can I move on? A foreign friend of mine told me to have a vacation and enjoy. I’m doubtful if I will be able to have fun.


Advisor Member
Jul 23, 2018
I've never been married and I don't have kids, 51 yrs old and I can only imagine the level of anguish you're going through but regardless of that you must move past this. You for a brief moment in your life had a relationship with your wife that was a wonderful experience that most of us only dream of having. Your memories of being with your wife have combined with her and the baby's passing to bring you great pain. Only the passing of time will diminish the pain. You must let go of the pain, learn to cherish the memories of your wife without it. This is a difficult thing to do but you must. You cannot let this mental anguish consume you and cause problems in your life. Most certainly your wife would not want you to be a mental wreck after her passing. She would want you to move on. Your memories of your wife will always cause pain but as time goes by that pain will diminish.

Move on my friend.