How can I develop my own willpower?

Noriel_Sylvire

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Jan 14, 2019
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I'm a student.
Last year I spent the whole day at the library, I did exercise, I ate healthy, I trained in mnemotechnics (the abbility to remember anything. I can still actually remember things I memorised a year and a half ago, but I haven't improved since then) and I was about to start testing my own kind of self improvement technique. But then, my year long project failed and I litterally gave up everything. I haven't put a foot on the library since then, my grades dropped a lot, I haven't done exercise a single freaking day since then, nor anything, no playing piano, no mnemotechnics, nothing.

I went from a productive human being, to an absolutely lazy bastard to just a lazy bastard.

Don't get me wrong, my life is not s**t (yet), and my grades are quite good but they could be the best of the country, and that angers me a lot.
Maybe I can channel that anger into being productive.
I'm not depressed by the failure anymore, I just got used to being lazy and not doing even the half of what I could do.
So I'm asking if there are any exercises I can do to try and improve my own willpower, cause I want to do everything I done again, and sometimes I start doing sport again but stop at like the second day of routine. Pathetic.
 

DayProv

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Dec 7, 2018
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I'm a student.
Last year I spent the whole day at the library, I did exercise, I ate healthy, I trained in mnemotechnics (the abbility to remember anything. I can still actually remember things I memorised a year and a half ago, but I haven't improved since then) and I was about to start testing my own kind of self improvement technique. But then, my year long project failed and I litterally gave up everything. I haven't put a foot on the library since then, my grades dropped a lot, I haven't done exercise a single freaking day since then, nor anything, no playing piano, no mnemotechnics, nothing.

I went from a productive human being, to an absolutely lazy bastard to just a lazy bastard.

Don't get me wrong, my life is not s**t (yet), and my grades are quite good but they could be the best of the country, and that angers me a lot.
Maybe I can channel that anger into being productive.
I'm not depressed by the failure anymore, I just got used to being lazy and not doing even the half of what I could do.
So I'm asking if there are any exercises I can do to try and improve my own willpower, cause I want to do everything I done again, and sometimes I start doing sport again but stop at like the second day of routine. Pathetic.
Hello Noriel,

thanks for reaching out to this community and for sharing your problem.
In developing willpower there are 2 things you should focus on:

1. Understanding your timing

- Think of willpower exactly as you think about energy. When you wake up in the morning, you have a lot of energy (at least you should, when your quality of sleep is optimal). Think about let´s say exercising...

What time you should go exercise and not need so much willpower? - when you are well rested when anything you did is just wake up? Or when you just get back from school, you will study for a few hours and then you will think...hmm I will go exercise.

What are the odds you think?

That´s why it´s important to plan your day in a way, that the most important (and the most difficult) tasks, that need a lot of willpower you always do before you are so exhausted, that only thing you want is to lie in front of tv and sleep.

2. Do it slowly

- I was exactly in your situation. And the best (and I think the only) way to get out of this is by baby steps.

If you are now (like you said lazy), and you will say that tomorrow I will go for a 10-mile run, what do you think will happen?
The odds are, you will definitely stay in bed and not even bother to go outside.

But, if your goal would be, well, tomorrow I will go out and run around my block once, you will need less willpower for that. And when you will accomplish it, you will become more confident, more focused and less lazy.

The research showed, that people who at the end of the research had the best running (and weight loss) results were the ones who at the beginning just get up, dress their running clothes, and actually not go running. But it´s this little wins that make you more confident and builds your willpower.

I hope this helped, I am looking forward to your progress. Good luck! :)
 
Joined
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Hi Noriel_Sylvir

Wow! You really are a go getter, and I congratulate you for the fire and tenacity you have to go get it!

However, you remind me of when I was in my 20's, if something didn't work out, I stopped working on it.

My mother always told me "you never ever finish anything you start!".... and she was right.

I attached my ego to my abilities, and when one didn't work, it had to be eliminated, whether it was beneficial to me or not!

The problem with this way of thinking is that it lulled me into this false sense of self assurance and comfort.

Noriel, for as long as you pursue an idea, a skill, a project, whatever it may be, something will go wrong.

The genius lies in figuring it out, genuinely learning from your miss-steps and choosing a new direction to take this idea, skill or project, never abandoning it altogether!

Your growth will come from seeing this one thing through to real, tangible, noticeable, and remarkable results!

It is way easier to choose to preserve your ego, but in the end, you will see very little to no results, and that's when the real regret shows up.

Get some dirt under those fingernails and work through it!

All the best!

Sheila, Your PushFactor!
 
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By Understanding that nothing in your life changes without taking action. If you want something out of life, you have to pursue it! Pursue Your Dreams!
 
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Kristijan

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Jan 18, 2019
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That is really bad

I would suggest you start small, but with certainty. Take small steps every day.

I am also about to share a free e book about personal success so I will give it to you very soon
 

James Spears

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Oct 9, 2018
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Find your passion then the motivation and willpower will come more easily. When we are enthused about something it is easier to persevere.

With exercise I find it useful to change routines frequently to keep my willpower up. Do exercise that you enjoy, not what you think you need to do. Try something dynamic like dancing or yoga. Get involved with sports you like.

It's now popular to talk about your "why." This is 'why' you do things, and is related to having a worthwhile purpose and being passionate about it. When we know our 'why' or purpose it gives us meaning, and when something gives us meaning we are much more likely to be actively involved.

Kind Regards,

James
 

denydritz

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May 27, 2018
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Why did the failed project impact you so greatly?

Have there been any other failures you experienced, but didn't affect you as much?

Willpower implies that we have no power, and therefore we have to generate it. I agree that identifying your passion (why you do what you do) is more important for long term performance. When you live expressing your passion, you are always filled with the energy necessary to get things done, and you are always successful.

I suspect that your motivation was an external motivation tied to the success of that project. When it failed, you lost all motivation for everything. Have you ever felt internal motivation where you want to grow and become a better person, regardless of the outcome of a project?

When you know your passion and have internal motivation, the energy will come without you having to artificially generate it using any technique.
 

sridharcw

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Dec 27, 2018
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After reading your story it appears as if you were doing excellent 1.5 years ago and after the downfall of your project everything turned opposite. I'm assuming that the instance of failure has actually put you in a fickle state of mind that you're not able to stick to what you do because of the frustration of things not going well.
And as one or two more failures or mishaps happened you get more demotivated and get worse. You also said "you literally gave up everything". I can relate to such situations not just in academics or professional life but also personal circumstances, so Im not critical but just trying to show you that you are creating the pessimistic foundation for yourself, which needs to go right away.
Just assume that all you did before was learning and testing (as you said) and now you have plenty of other options to test and explore. Do not expect 100% perfection - if you do then you can only do nothing and claim to be perfect...instead go with the flow and chase your dreams and improve at every step - whether its positive outcome or negative outcome. With that experience you learn new stuff and you enjoy your journey. Take up some new projects and do things with a fresh and new approach. While you can take learnings from past, dont let that memory cloud your ambitions...because there are several doors open for all of us to tap in to excellence.
 
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