Have you ever felt stuck?

hatteubanal

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For the benefit of those who haven't read my introduction, I have very high aspirations in life. I am very ambitious. I've made a lot of wrong decisions in life though that led to the situation I'm in now.

I feel like my life is going nowhere -- like I'm speeding 100 km/h to the wrong direction. I'm worried because I haven't achieved anything worthwhile in my life yet. I'm already 28 years old. I always ask myself, "Why am I here?". I am not supposed to be in this situation. I'm stuck in an awfully long moment that I can't get out of. :(

Has anyone here ever felt this way?
 

fancyfingers

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I haven't felt as my life isn't going anywhere, but more of I do not have more time to try different things and do the things I already have tried and love. Every day when I wake up, I know I have certain obligations I must meet. Then I can try something I have on my very long list of things to try!
I would suggest you to make a list of things that really move you, that stirs up your passion. Make a list of things you are doing in your life now, and see how many of those involve your passion. Put the things that involve your passion to the top of your to do list, and the others go to the bottom of the list, or off the list altogether.
 

yurithebest1

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Me too, i sometimes feel very desperate and that my life has no meaning because i really did some very bad mistakes in the past that took me out of the way, and some nights i really cannot sleep because i feel lost and i don't have any goal in my life.
The only thing that makes me alive is believing in the justice of God, and i always try to think positive as long as i can because it's the only thing that keeps me alive.
 

radascars

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Most people who are in their mid to late 20's experience this kind of situation where you feel like you don't have any improvements in life, like there's no room for a new life to begin with. I understand how you feel as I already been there and done that. I don't meant to say that I already experience just the same as yours rather the feeling of being in the sense of no hopes and all you see is nothing.

Its really hard to cope up especially when you don't have a stable support system like your family, friends and of course your son but don't forget that it can be serve as your inspiration and keep yourself motivated at all times. Just believe in yourself and always think positive. :)
 

Cecil Estrera

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I too have felt that way. Or I must say still feel that way. Having finished a two-year course and not getting a decent job for years now makes me think that I haven't achieved anything yet. Now, I am worried with the future of my kids since I am just working online and I don't know as to how long can I rely on it for adding up a household income. I often think that if only I had taken a four-year course then things would be better and probably we are saving little by little now.

Well, even if I am 26 already, I plan not to stop dreaming and striving for the ambitions that I wish to achieve.
I plan on continuing my studies someday soon so that I can have the degree that I really wanted and probably get a decent job for myself in a reputable company possible.
 

hatteubanal

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I haven't felt as my life isn't going anywhere, but more of I do not have more time to try different things and do the things I already have tried and love. Every day when I wake up, I know I have certain obligations I must meet. Then I can try something I have on my very long list of things to try!
I would suggest you to make a list of things that really move you, that stirs up your passion. Make a list of things you are doing in your life now, and see how many of those involve your passion. Put the things that involve your passion to the top of your to do list, and the others go to the bottom of the list, or off the list altogether.
Hi fancyfingers! :)

We share the same feeling. I want to try a lot of things that I haven't done before but can't because of the lack of time.
I like your suggestion. A list will be very helpful because although I think too much, I'm a lousy planner. Maybe once I have a list of things that motivate me and things that I am passionate about, I might be able to focus more on what I need to do to achieve what I want. I'm willing to try anything that will rid me of the feeling of being stuck.
Thanks a lot! :)
 

hatteubanal

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Most people who are in their mid to late 20's experience this kind of situation where you feel like you don't have any improvements in life, like there's no room for a new life to begin with. I understand how you feel as I already been there and done that. I don't meant to say that I already experience just the same as yours rather the feeling of being in the sense of no hopes and all you see is nothing.

Its really hard to cope up especially when you don't have a stable support system like your family, friends and of course your son but don't forget that it can be serve as your inspiration and keep yourself motivated at all times. Just believe in yourself and always think positive. :)
Hi rad! :p My son is the only reason that I have for continuing to strive for the best. He is my motivation and he keeps me going. Seeing him smile and hearing his laughter gives me strength to conquer all the hardships that life throws our way.

You made one good point. I don't have a stable support system. My son and I live alone and I rarely speak with my friends and my family. I'm hoping to find people who will listen to me and keep me sane here on this forum and you guys haven't disappointed me so far. For that, I thank you. :)
 

zararina

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It was nice to know that you could feel now that "someone" is willing to listen through this forum. ;)
You still have a lot of things you could do for yourself and specially for your son. There could be a change in our lives if we start changing ourselves. I could admit that I had done wrong decisions too in my life and I take them as experiences well learned. We should learn from our mistakes and not live with it if we really like to go anywhere else. Better to start realizing what are your real goals and then do things even the littlest thing you could do for it to achieve it.
 

radascars

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Hi rad! :p My son is the only reason that I have for continuing to strive for the best. He is my motivation and he keeps me going. Seeing him smile and hearing his laughter gives me strength to conquer all the hardships that life throws our way.

You made one good point. I don't have a stable support system. My son and I live alone and I rarely speak with my friends and my family. I'm hoping to find people who will listen to me and keep me sane here on this forum and you guys haven't disappointed me so far. For that, I thank you. :)
Its really hard to have a positive support system in your case especially that you are living only with your son, though joining a community like this will somehow helps you and keep you more in the positive side I still recommend you to find someone, a friend or a family, that makes it your significant other. Having a positive support system is important. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I do wish for your happiness and success in life. :)
 

hatteubanal

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I too have felt that way. Or I must say still feel that way. Having finished a two-year course and not getting a decent job for years now makes me think that I haven't achieved anything yet. Now, I am worried with the future of my kids since I am just working online and I don't know as to how long can I rely on it for adding up a household income. I often think that if only I had taken a four-year course then things would be better and probably we are saving little by little now.

Well, even if I am 26 already, I plan not to stop dreaming and striving for the ambitions that I wish to achieve.
I plan on continuing my studies someday soon so that I can have the degree that I really wanted and probably get a decent job for myself in a reputable company possible.
Hey Cecil! I want to say that I'm glad that someone else feels the way I do, that I'm not alone after all but I know how crappy the situation we are in makes one feel so let me just say I hear you. :)

Like you, my mind is always consumed with thoughts of could-have-beens and might-have-beens. If only I did this or that maybe I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in right now. Although I have tons of regrets, I have no choice but to carry on. People say that I should not waste my time regretting things I could no longer change. I say that regrets serve as a reminder for me not to repeat the mistakes I did in the past.

Maybe we can still do it Cecil. You'll never know. At least we're trying. :)
 

hatteubanal

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It was nice to know that you could feel now that "someone" is willing to listen through this forum. ;)
Hey zararina! Having read some of the discussions here, I noticed that most of the member's exchanges were focused on helping each other and sharing experiences that other members can learn from. That made me feel comfortable instantly. I know I can count on you guys to give sound and unbiased advices. :)

Having a positive support system is important. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I do wish for your happiness and success in life. :)
Rad, I know that I could face these problems better if I have a stable support system. I just don't want my friends to worry too much about me. They have problems of their own to deal with. The best I can do for them is to not add up to their worries. Thanks for giving a sound advice. :)
 
P

Positive_Abe

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Zararina said it well:

We should learn from our mistakes and not live with it if we really like to go anywhere else.
You cannot live in the past, you have to live in the present moment....With me, for over 3 years, I lived in the future and didn't live in the present, which resulted in me feeling not achieving or accomplishing something worthwhile in my life even after doing personal development, working on myself and attending conferences/seminars. That was until a person made me have a reality check a couple of months ago in which I had to start from zero. After that reality check, I encountered this quote:

Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance." - Bryan Tracy

After reading that quote, it made me reflect that one of the ways to move on is to have your life in balance. That is not thinking of the past, not thinking about the "should haves," "could haves" or "what ifs," and not worrying; the clock moves and ticks forward, not backwards—is time to move forward.

Besides, it will be good to look back at what you really want, look back at your dreams/goals, and if it is necessary, is fine to start from zero.

To move on, you need to relax, be calm under any situation that comes your way, hard or difficult, and if you have your life in balance, you'll be able to overcome those challenges and move forward with the present time. Having your life in balance is a process, and it will come in time.

In regards not having a support system, you must have your own support system. You have to be selfish—support your own self. You are YOU and only YOU, not them! Your desire must be burning hot to not let anyone negative or challenging event put you down. It comes to the point how bad you really want to do better. My burning desire has helped continue and not give up from the several uncomfortable challenges I encountered in these past few years. You can do it!! :)

Positive Abe
 

Memphian Michael

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Hatteubanal: I can totally empathize with you. Myself, I'm 31 and feel very much like you---that I've gotten thus far in life without really accomplishing much of anything.

10/15 years ago I always envisioned myself being very successful and having a good, tight family by time I attained 30. Well, the very-much-dreaded 30 y/o mark has come and past, and I'm nowhere near the place I had dreamed that I would be years earlier. I still live with a parent (had my own apartment, twice, but lost them), have no significant other (two major relationships that failed), and no kids. I do contractual work to get by, but it'll hardly ever be enough to support even just myself.

I keep the dream alive, though. Even though I'm at an age now that I once considered 'old' (back in my teen years), there's still time to accomplish them. Same goes for you and everyone else stuck in similar circumstances! Fight. Be relentless in your quest. Just make sure the end product will be something that completes, or helps to complete, you.

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." -E.A. Poe
 

Cecil Estrera

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Hey Cecil! I want to say that I'm glad that someone else feels the way I do, that I'm not alone after all but I know how crappy the situation we are in makes one feel so let me just say I hear you. :)

Like you, my mind is always consumed with thoughts of could-have-beens and might-have-beens. If only I did this or that maybe I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in right now. Although I have tons of regrets, I have no choice but to carry on. People say that I should not waste my time regretting things I could no longer change. I say that regrets serve as a reminder for me not to repeat the mistakes I did in the past.

Maybe we can still do it Cecil. You'll never know. At least we're trying. :)
Maybe, if fate will be in our side in the coming years. Financial problem is the only one stopping me from going back to college again, I am afraid. So hopefully luck will be on my way through it.

I agree that we should not cry over spilled milk. What we can do now is to act, think, and find ways on how we can improve ourselves. ;)
 

kevinm

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We are where we are in life because of the choices we made. It makes no sense blaming others for this. Learnt this the hard way. One's life is his/her responsibility. Past is past. So if you are unhappy about something, change it.
 

MariaM

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Buddhist nun Pema Chodron has a great CD series called "Getting Unstuck." My interpretation of her teachings is that we have some habits -- making the same wrong decisions, for instance -- that keep us stuck in a cycle. The only way to break away is by going inside and "encountering naked reality," as Ms. Chodron says. That means that we need to point the mirror to ourselves and examine who we are and what history, what beliefs, what thoughts make us be that way. Once we gain that knowledge about ourselves, we then begin to experience a kind of release from the old habits. Trying to understand how that happens is futile; the changes occur on a spiritual level and they feel almost like the result of magic. It all starts with self-investigation. A few minutes of daily meditation goes a long way.