Giving Advice Effectively

MoreSuccess

Senior Advisor
Staff member
Joined
May 28, 2011
Messages
575
Likes
342
Points
257
Location
California, USA
#1
How do you give advice in a way that people accept it in a positive way? It seems like everyone wants to give advice to others, but so many don't want the advice, and take it as criticism. The best I can usually do is lead with a compliment and then offer the suggestion, but it can come off phony, e.g. "You're doing a great job, BUT....".

When people proactively come to me for advice then it goes very well, they are already receptive. However if someone is not receptive, I think it can do more harm than good at times. Sometimes I have to just let go and accept that some choose to remain blind to their faults and don't want to hear about how they might need to improve.

The sad thing is sometimes I see people that could be much more effective in their career except for one bad habit that could be changed if they were simply aware of it.
 

radascars

Advisor Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2011
Messages
272
Likes
51
Points
28
Location
Philippines
#2
I give advises whether its positive or not.
My friends told me that I'm their mind opener because I gave not only my personal views but also give circumstances to what may happen if they do this or do that. I also do a sandwich approach where I will give recognition and then give them negative comments about it and then give my views in a positive way. I find it very effective for them to see both sides of the problem/issue.

I also agree with you that people chose not to accept their faults and keep their eyes closed when it comes to their own mistakes. :(
 

zararina

Coaching Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2011
Messages
567
Likes
51
Points
80
#3
I do give advises to those who like to be advised or to those who are asking for my advise. It would be hard to talk and give advise to someone who is not willing, it might cause arguments only. If i think a friend of mine would really need an advise even she does not like it, i will tell it to her the most careful as possible.
 

AmazingP

Advisor Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2011
Messages
711
Likes
113
Points
28
#4
I think it would be hard to give an opinion to somebody who is not open to perspective from other people. And personally I feel that I don't have any business of giving anybody advise if that person does not want to in the first place. However, there could be an exception to this when a person involved is close to me either as a friend or relative.

The way I do it is to talk first with mundane things until the topic veered towards more serious matters -- that's the time I would ask his opinion or position on the problem and then I will ask for his permission to also listen to what I can say. In most cases, the person has no choice but to listen because the barrier is broken down.
 
A

artistry

Guest
#5
...I try to see what the person is in need of, if you can tell what would be needed, not what it is that you want to say, then I feel that you are capable and will be effective in the advice that you give. It is also important to be emphatic, your tone when you give the advice is very important. You should not preach, or be condescending toward the individual. If they are looking for advice, they are vunerable and you should be kind, with your words.