"friend zone"?

Is the "friend zone" real?

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 66.7%
  • No

    Votes: 1 33.3%

  • Total voters
    3

JoeInTheMiddle

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Hey guys,

I watched “friends with benefits” the other night and it got me thinking about the ‘friend zone’.

Some of my friends married after knowing each other for years. But I also know people that have crushes on their best friends (have for years now) and are stuck in the ‘zone’.

Have you ever been friend zoned or do you think it’s made up?
 

alexvic

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I think, if you want to date a girl, but she perceives you as a friend, you shouldn't try to make her your girlfriend. Because, most likely, there will be no real love on her part. I know women who became girlfriends (or wives) of their friends, and then, many years later, they said it poisoned their lives - because there was no love in those relationships. So, if a girl (you'd like to date) perceives you as a friend, stay her friend or sever contacts. Just my humble opinion.
 

JoeInTheMiddle

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I can see where you're coming from, and to some extent I agree.
But in many instances, people can fall in love with someone who they've been friends with.
I know it's a TV show, but Chandler and Monica from friends were friends then fell in love.
Don't you think this can happen in real life @alexvic?
 

Ethanbridges

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Now that I think about it, the existence of friend zone would depend on people, but I'm inclined to 80% it does not exist, 20% it does. And yup, this could probably be how Chandler and Monica saw it, too. :D

People say they're "stuck" in the friend zone but only because at that given moment, they are stuck for some reason/s, which would lead them to believe that a "friend zone" actually does exist.

But considering that those reasons may not be valid forever, who can actually tell?
 

JoeInTheMiddle

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Now that I think about it, the existence of friend zone would depend on people, but I'm inclined to 80% it does not exist, 20% it does. And yup, this could probably be how Chandler and Monica saw it, too. :D

People say they're "stuck" in the friend zone but only because at that given moment, they are stuck for some reason/s, which would lead them to believe that a "friend zone" actually does exist.

But considering that those reasons may not be valid forever, who can actually tell?
I quite like this way of thinking about it.

By believe in something's power or even existence feeds it and actualises it. If no one was to believe it was real then it would fade from existence.
 

Connor

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Friend zone is sadly pretty common thing for people nowdays. I did happen to be in one when I was younger, lots of emotional pain and frustration. but when I look back at this time I see that this even has pushed me towards personal-development so I guess there is a good side of it in the end. :)
 

JoeInTheMiddle

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Friend zone is sadly pretty common thing for people nowdays. I did happen to be in one when I was younger, lots of emotional pain and frustration. but when I look back at this time I see that this even has pushed me towards personal-development so I guess there is a good side of it in the end. :)
Well put Connor.
I believe that everything in life is a lesson and as long as you learn from it, it's not a bad thing.
 

Jeffrey Baumgartner

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I recall reading a while back a paper (or maybe just the abstract) on platonic friends. If memory serves, the researchers found that in platonic relationships between men and women, the men were vastly more likely to have an interest in taking the relationship further -- and believe there was potential to do so -- than were the woman who preferred to maintain a platonic relationship.

Thus, from a numbers perspective, if you are female and fancy your male friend, you have a good chance of success. If you are a man, on the other hand, you should probably just appreciate the friendship and not take it further.
 
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From personal experience, I can say that the friend zone is not made up. (What I'm about to say is what one of my girl friends has told me verbatim, so I don't want to start an argument!) If you like a girl, but she doesn't like you, she really just wants to keep you around for the attention. If you're okay with that, then go ahead. But if you're expecting that you can somehow change her mind, then I hardly think you will be able to. I personally think it's better to just sever ties and move on. It hurts for a while, but you'll feel better with yourself and eventually understand that if she only saw you as a friend, then it really wasn't even meant to be in the first place.

Euan
http://www.mytracktosuccess.com
 

Kezzielee

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iv been friend zoned twice in a row now, get along great with the guy we have so much in common and have fun but then when i want a relationship then i always get the "im not ready" excuse. if they werent ready why on earth did they start seeing people to begin with?
 

Kezzielee

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yes you are right, however, not at the cost of your own worth :) if others cant see your value and dont fight to keep you in their lives then i say move on
 

brokenblade

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I think, if you want to date a girl, but she perceives you as a friend, you shouldn't try to make her your girlfriend. Because, most likely, there will be no real love on her part. I know women who became girlfriends (or wives) of their friends, and then, many years later, they said it poisoned their lives - because there was no love in those relationships. So, if a girl (you'd like to date) perceives you as a friend, stay her friend or sever contacts. Just my humble opinion.
Yeah, I agree with that in many cases. I have a friend right now and at first, I didn't see her as anything more than a friend. At the same time, she really seemed to really have a major crush on me. Yet, as time went on and circumstances happened, I began to develop feelings for her. However, she has already "friend-zoned" me. Also, at this point, I believe we may have been friends way too long. I think it would probably just be weird if we were to take it to the next level.
 

Roksana

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You know, sometimes, if you really love someone, but you cannot be with him is realy good to stay in a friend zone. And it's possible to feel good because of another person happiness.I have a best friend, he has a wife now and on child with her. I know he really loves me, but he don't wanted leave his wife with child on their own. I understood it and am happy, they feel good and have a happy family.
I am really satisfied because of that - we are just friends :)
Well, sometimes friend zone is necessary to keep an relationship be alive :)