Fathers (out to lunch)


Coaching Member
Oct 8, 2015
Norwich, UK
What is it about the responsibilities of fatherhood that leave a large number of children fatherless?

What is it about society today that makes it so hard for men to step up and be the leaders in my opinion they were born to be?

With so many fathers absent where can young men turn to discover the true essence of what it means to be a man?


Jan 20, 2016
Wow, you ask the easy questions!;)

Question one, I couldn't begin to give a good answer why there are so many fatherless children, however, I'd venture to say, there's a percentage that those men didn't have good male role models to begin with - simple answer I know, kind of an obvious answer I know. And there are a number of females, at least that I know of, that do literally push men out of their children's lives. Not in any way that is overly obvious, but it's in the little things from when the child is a baby where the woman insists on handling all things when it comes to baby care, not trusting the man to make some mistakes - having their own way to do things. While it may seem harmless, over time if a guy is constantly hearing that he does nothing the right way (whether it's with his child or with anything) he's going to stop trying. And when he stops trying, when it comes to children, he'll start losing that connection and eventually that leads to children with absent fathers or very distant fathers, and that cycle just repeats itself. Because it's not as obvious a problem as abuse or complete abandonment, it is not really mentioned. Just because a father physically lives in a house, doesn't mean he is being utilized or given the ability to have a true relationship with their child.

Second question, I'd say partly confusion. And a lot of it comes from women, comes from society's expectation of what a man is "supposed" to be. I think leaders come in all shapes, sizes, types, but there is an image of a man as a leader and it's a very particular leader - but that doesn't mean that's the only way a man can be a leader, and I think between feminists shouting how unfair the world is, and society beating it into the heads of people what a male leader should look like, if you're a man who does not fit that exact mold, they completely shy away from trying it their own way (which honestly, might be a better way or very necessary in today's changing society)

Finally, let's be honest...you guys have a hard time asking for help. So, if there is not a good male model early on that you rely on, what are the chances they'll seek one out instead of "figuring it out" themselves. We need more strong, understanding male leaders to reach out and see the great possibilities that are lying dormant in the male population and drag them kicking and screaming to their true potential!

- Obviously just an opinion and my observations from interaction with my male clients and in my corporate life, and obviously coming from the perspective of a female. Love to hear what you think about my comments and where you think I might be off or missing a glaring reality.

Todd Hicks

Senior Advisor
Dec 3, 2014
St. Louis, Missouri
Some dads may not have what it takes to be a good dad and may fear commitment. Some of them may get the message that they are not wanted but once they have kids, they must be responsible and stick around to help raise the kids. Kids need both parents. New dads can get advice from good dads who have experience.