Family Issues

pranaman

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Apr 23, 2019
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Had an issue with my sister. Lots of drama. She married a guy, turned out to be a drug dealer.

One day, a fight ensued. I went to the police, seeking help, honestly, hoping just to talk. "Let's fill out a report" officer says. "It will just sit in the drawer."

Sure.... well, wanting to vent, I vented. Didn't just sit in a drawer. Police came. Lots of stuff happened.

Years later, we text, there have been a few 1-2 minute calls, but we haven't had a real talk in years. Bugs me. Just let it go, or ???
 

MoreSuccess

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Is she mad at you for the incident? Did you apologize for interfering? It's hard to know her state of mine based upon so little. I'd say let it go unless you think there is something you can say or do that is going to lead to a real talk. Or test the waters next time with some active listening techniques to see if the conversation can go deeper.
 

pranaman

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MoreSuccess, thank you for replying. I did apologize, mostly through email. Trouble is, she gets on medication, and can be really mean. It's either silence, minimal texting or talking, or she just gets rude.

And then I get charged too. Maybe active listening would help. I'll see if I can get myself in the state of mind to do that.
 

MoreSuccess

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I suppose you have to ask yourself if it's worth it just because of the family relationship, to some it apparently means very little. A good friend of mine's sister tricked their aging mother with dementia into writing him out of the will, and was slowly siphoning off her money. and spending it on vacations. He had to take legal action against her. He won but they lost much of their inheritance with attorney fees.
 

pranaman

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That's really sad about your friend.

Unfortunately, my sister is staying as a distant person. If it changes, it changes. I may try a few things, like sending gifts here and there. After sending a small birthday gift more than a year ago, we had a conversation. I may try that again.

I think I need to brush up on active listening. Thanks again for sharing your ideas and suggestions.
 

Gio

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Feb 22, 2019
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Sorry, but I don't agree with this. "I may try a few things, like sending gifts here and there."
It seems such as buying her affection and probably she will feel obligated to do something.

I agree with @MoreSuccess relating to ask yourself if it's worth it just because of the family relationship.
Sometime you can ask her how she going and see the answer. Don't force, give her some space.
Don't be sad, things will fix
A big hug
 

pranaman

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Thank you, I'd prefer not to not to do it either. It's been 5 years. I figured it's enough time, but, I will wait and see. Thank you, a big hug back.
 
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