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#1
Failure is not Defeat

In this short article, I will be writing what failure is all about and how to deal with it.

What is Failure?

Failure is the lack of achieving an intended purpose or goals which you set for yourself. It is not a dead end when you fail in many areas of life be it training, examination, business and more. What is actually dead is when you give up because you fail at achieving a specific purpose at the desired time. To me, I take failure as lessons to be learnt, adjust my goals so that I can achieve the goals I set for myself. If you try anything new today, it is possible for you to miss it the first time, second time or even the fifth time, you will learn from your mistakes and then you will succeed. Failure is just part of any game and you either play and win or you play and lose. Failure will usually happen the first time you step out of your comfort zone to a new arena. This is new to you and if because of failure you stop at making an attempt, that will be the end of it. So, when you fail at achieving your desired results, here are my advice on what you should do.

Don’t Quit

As I have said, failure is not a dead end in itself, what is dead is when you give up. Don’t give up because of failures you have encountered on your way to your success. Simply go back to the drawing board to check your mission/vision for embarking on the journey. When you check through your missions/visions, it will be easy for you to see what you need to take out, what to add to your missions that will minimize your failures so that you can succeed when you try next.

Learning Experience

When you fail, this is a chance to learn from our mistakes. Anytime I fail at anything, what I do first is to ask myself “why did I fail”? What went wrong? Was it because I failed to stop something I should have noticed while embarking on that goal? Did I have a bad habit that I need to get rid of to eliminate my failure? I write all these down and look at it objectively so that I can use the knowledge that I derive in asking my questions to improve myself and give it a try again. As long as I don’t give up, there are always new ideas coming to my mind to add to what I already wrote down that will help me to achieve the desired result.

People

Learn from People who have failed before in life be it in business, politics, music, design, developers who never gave up and have become a go-to for knowledge and advice. One person that I admired so much is Noah Kagan. Noah Kagan was fired from Facebook and went into depression. He later overcame his depression and has gone up to establish so many successful businesses of which one of them is Sumo. I read about Anik Singal who became a millionaire before the age of 30, blew up all his profits and ended up with a $17 million debt while in bankruptcy. Anik Singal was able to turn this around, paid all the debts and today he is a multi-millionaire internet entrepreneur. Also, the likes of Abraham Lincoln, though dead, never gave up until he became one of the world’s most powerful president – United States of America.

Avoid Mediocre People

To ensure you succeed in your endeavours you must be prepared to avoid the people I refer to as mediocre. These are the set of people that will tell you there is no way you can make it more especially when you have just failed in your first attempt. If you don’t move away from this type of people and accept their verdict on your progress, you will discover that you will abandon your projects half-way. Get rid of them and start to move with people who are goal oriented, ready to take the bull by the horns and succeed at the end of the process.

Setting a Daily Target

To succeed in whatever, you set out to do, there is the need to have a daily target of what you intend to achieve in each specific day. Make a list of what you will do each day as this will guide you on the right steps/actions to take. If you are unable to meet a target, look for other ways in which you will be able to meet up.

Motivation/Positive Confession

Be motivated by having good thoughts within yourself that you will succeed no matter what the case might be. Tell yourself there is no success without challenges in life. Use motivational words like “A winner does not quit, neither does a quitter wins”. If others can do it and achieve it, I will also achieve my dreams and make a positive impact. One of my motivational thoughts is this: Successful people never worry about what other people are doing or saying and has worked for me to continue to take steps towards actualising my dream. I have a mentor that says this word all the time and I totally believe him. He says “If you don’t take a risk, you risk everything”. This is someone that was already in total debt of over £35,000 and was already declared bankrupt, he never gave up and today he is one of the multi-millionaire in the world and his name has actually entered the Guinness Book of Records. Below are some of my daily positive confessions:

I am Amazing
I can do all things through the grace of God
Positivity is a choice
I celebrate my individuality
I am prepared to succeed and will not succumb to failure or pressure.
You need this motivational thoughts/positive confession if you are to succeed as it is easy to give up without the right motivational thoughts.

Get a Mentor

The role of a mentor cannot be over-emphasised as without a mentor it might be hard to achieve whatever goals you have set to achieve in life. As we all know, a mentor is someone that guides another person to achieve a definite result. The mentor that you choose should be someone who has succeeded in what you are trying to achieve and who is also knowledgeable in your chosen field. We all know that the outcome of mentoring is the development of the person being mentored such that the mentee achieves the desired result. To achieve this a mentor should be able to provide good advice, guidance based on values, needs, goals and desires of the mentee. So, you an individual looking for a mentor should know what you are looking for in a person before appointing him/her as your mentor.

Follow Successful People

There are so many ways of looking for successful people to follow and the best way nowadays is to go through the internet to research for the list of successful people in your desired area. Once you identify them, make sure you follow them regularly, learn from both their mistakes and successes and use this to build yourself up. Each of the successful people that you will meet in your desired area have at one time or the other failed but became successful because they refused to give up.

Read Books

Most important ensure you read at least a book on successful people every month. Reading of books on successful people will further open your eyes to what they have encountered on their way to success, how they dealt with failures, changes they introduced into the life that enables them to achieve their dreams.

Think less about your defeat


What you must avoid is to keep thinking about your defeats. If you do this constantly, this will not give you the opportunity to refocus on what needs to be done to avoid further defeats. You have failed which is true, get over it within a short period of time. You only need to analyse why you failed, where you go wrong and what you can do to erase the failure and achieve your ultimate goal.

In conclusion, as I have said earlier, failure is just part of any game where you either win or lose. What is most important is that when you try the first time, you might miss it, or even miss it at the second, third or fourth attempt and you will learn along the way and become a success story. I am not afraid to fail even though I don’t like it. I will not trigger it but I cannot prevent myself from trying even though I risk to fail. I’m not afraid of any risk as I believe there is no reward without a challenge. So, whatever you have set yourself up to do, be brave and go for it. Failure is not a defeat, it becomes defeat only when you give up. Continue to pursue and don’t give up.
 

denydritz

Coaching Member
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#4
It's interesting that failure is seen as not achieving our targets, when those targets themselves are defined by us. In other words, we may be setting ourselves up for failure by setting arbitrary goals and targets.

Perhaps we can handle failure better, or avoid it entirely, when we know how to set the correct targets. It doesn't make sense to choose a target we set on our own, and then get upset when we fail to achieve it.

I agree that getting a mentor can give us better clarity to achieve our goals. But it can also be dangerous because we are learning from their path to success, whereas our path to success could be different.
 
Joined
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#5
It's interesting that failure is seen as not achieving our targets, when those targets themselves are defined by us. In other words, we may be setting ourselves up for failure by setting arbitrary goals and targets.

Perhaps we can handle failure better, or avoid it entirely, when we know how to set the correct targets. It doesn't make sense to choose a target we set on our own, and then get upset when we fail to achieve it.

I agree that getting a mentor can give us better clarity to achieve our goals. But it can also be dangerous because we are learning from their path to success, whereas our path to success could be different.
Agreed!
 
Joined
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#6
It's interesting that failure is seen as not achieving our targets, when those targets themselves are defined by us. In other words, we may be setting ourselves up for failure by setting arbitrary goals and targets.

Perhaps we can handle failure better, or avoid it entirely, when we know how to set the correct targets. It doesn't make sense to choose a target we set on our own, and then get upset when we fail to achieve it.

I agree that getting a mentor can give us better clarity to achieve our goals. But it can also be dangerous because we are learning from their path to success, whereas our path to success could be different.
Yes, we need to set a realistic goal to achieve our dreams but at the same time when you are just stepping out of your comfort zone you might hit some bumps that will threaten your goals and the main thing is to focus at the end result. While I agree with your comment about a mentor in that path of success might not be the same, nevertheless, the training received can actually help with whatever path you are creating for yourself.