Excuse me, can you help? I want to become more confident at sharing my thoughts & feelings.

Do you regard yourself as a confident person?


  • Total voters
    3
  • Poll closed .

Jordan Booth

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Feb 2, 2016
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Yorkshire, UK
Hello all!
I stumbled across this forum while looking for answers... so please excuse me if I have posted incorrectly. My question is this: What can I do to become more confident at sharing my thoughts and feelings? (this problem affects be personally and at work - it is having the biggest impact at work)

I am 20 years old, I study a full time degree while working full time at a bank. I work on change projects and this involves communicating with lots of senior managers and stakeholders from across the business, over the phone and F2F (including me presenting to large audiences). I've just been offered a place on the Graduate Programme, great! Although my feedback from the assessment centre was that I wasn't confident enough in sharing my opinions with the team - something I hear far to regularly. Similar scenarios in my personal life too, I struggle to string my thoughts and opinions into a coherent sentence which comes across in a confident manner, often letting others speak instead and not getting my voice heard.

A development area very important to me and I have been aware of it for a while, I thought it would come with practice but so far little progress and this barrier is beginning to get very frustrating. Any advice?
 

Samantha

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Jan 20, 2016
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First of all, the ability to be able to openly share feelings and opinions is a little bit personality and a lot of bit practice. Even individuals who are confident in their ability to share will at times have moments of doubt, so don't beat yourself up about it.

The first thing is you need to know yourself, and this includes knowing whatever your business is, being secure about the information you know and then forming an opinion. Once you have an opinion about something, if you are educated on why you have that opinion you will find it easier to share that opinion with confidence because you have concrete knowledge backing it.

Find yourself a good mentor or development coach to help you in create challenges and strategies to help you build your confidence in yourself, your knowledge and your opinions (I am available online if you'd like to work with me and I'd have to say I've had a lot of success helping individuals with this, but regardless of what route you decide to go, get someone to help lead you and push you to a level where you start to feel more sure of yourself.
 

Cynthia

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Oct 6, 2015
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You can also try role playing and doing practice talks with people you're close to.
Good ideas! You can also try volunteering.

I volunteer in a number of ways on a regular basis.

While my intent was to help others, I've found I am helped way out of proportion to what I do. Especially in the area of confidence!

For example, in the coming week, on Saturday, Monday and Wednesday, I will be doing readings in front of various sized groups. I expect a few dozen at one; a few hundred at another; many hundreds at another, based on what's happening those days.

I'm simply reading. And I practice a lot. It's reading, not speaking, and I am a small part of what's going on.

Long ago, I used to teach computer science at a university -- and then I was a successful business owner for a number of years--- but now I'm restarting after injury, illness, surgeries. I'm healing now from lots of stuff and no where near back to that level yet! But by "doing" I am "becoming" once again.

I find that it is building my confidence.

I've also observed that others who hear me, later talk to me as if I am very confident -- and as I reflect on it, in their perception, I am, because of what I'm doing in these brief moments.

In this way, I am able to grow.

Just saying. Because? It might help you too...

blessings,
Cynthia
 

MoreSuccess

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Great advice so far! I echo that it takes practice, and try to speak only to what you really have knowledge of or are sure it's worth saying. Some talk just to talk and be heard, or just like to voice objections to everything. Others, you know if they have something to say, it's worth hearing because they don't waste words. How you use your words is important as well. Get to the point quickly and with your points. Some have a bad habit of wanting tell the whole back story before they get to their point, and by then they have lost the listener. Better to make your point, and then fill in the background if necessary.

Be sure to know your subject, whatever it is. Be prepared, read up, talk to people, search the Internet. The more you know about what you're talking about, the more confident you are, and the less likely you'll say something wrong and then people lose trust.

Again it takes time, I was like you at your age and over time I became very confident at work to speak up.
 

Todd Hicks

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Dec 3, 2014
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Great advice so far! I echo that it takes practice, and try to speak only to what you really have knowledge of or are sure it's worth saying. Some talk just to talk and be heard, or just like to voice objections to everything. Others, you know if they have something to say, it's worth hearing because they don't waste words. How you use your words is important as well. Get to the point quickly and with your points. Some have a bad habit of wanting tell the whole back story before they get to their point, and by then they have lost the listener. Better to make your point, and then fill in the background if necessary.

Be sure to know your subject, whatever it is. Be prepared, read up, talk to people, search the Internet. The more you know about what you're talking about, the more confident you are, and the less likely you'll say something wrong and then people lose trust.

Again it takes time, I was like you at your age and over time I became very confident at work to speak up.
I agree with getting to the point. I skim or skip over some posts or replies because they are very long.
 

Developonlinesuccess

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Jan 1, 2015
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Nr Northampton England
Hi yes, some good points, but believe in yourself you have done amazingly so far - think what you have achieved and I believe you said you are only 20!
Good luck with all you are doing!