Ever had problems with getting along?

Cecil Estrera

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I have experienced this problem several times upon living with different people and personalities.
When we were in the city where we live with our in-laws, I can say that getting along was such a big problem. I find it hard to deal with 'cause they always think that they are right and everything that they say should be followed at once. Me, as having a legal age and own mind, weighs out things and sometimes, I find my in-laws wrong. Unfortunately, they wouldn't accept it. What's right in betting in a lottery everyday when you don't have money to buy food? And what's worse is that, they keep on getting debts which they can't pay for. I tell you, those are thousands!

Now, that we moved in the province. My sisters became my immediate problem. I saw they were lazy, too much addicted to PC games, and much more is that they would only let me do all the household chores careless of how many chores to be done. My sister is 29 already and I find her really irresponsible 'cause she doesn't even bother to look for a job for her to send her daughter to school. And they all want me to pay big with the utility bills here when they are the ones who use PC's here overnight.

Now, I just felt so tired of complaining that I just keep quiet. I just do the things that I can do and let them on what they wanna do with their lives.

Sorry for the long post. And I hope to hear your own stories as well.
:)
 

zararina

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That is a very tough situation and it seems you can not do anything to let them change as they are too insensitive.
Hope they could feel you somehow. :)
I grew up with my grandmother together with a cousin and an auntie. They both seems to put misery in my life during my childhood for making me do chores and saying bad words to me (my cousin and my auntie). When i am older, i learn to do things my own way and they can not put me down anymore. When my grandmother died, we live separately and minding our own lives. And it is better.
 

MoreSuccess

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That seems one of the hardest things in life. You can change yourself through personal development, but when someone else is not interested in change and it impacts you, it's quite frustrating. In some situations you can just try to ignore it or leave the situation, but not always an option with relatives. I think most people too don't respond well to criticism about their current behaviors, so about all you can do is compliment them if you see them do something right, and hope it motivates them further.

I didn't like that I had to live with roommates for awhile earlier in my life, some of them had lifestyles I really disliked but I couldn't really do anything about it.
 

Cecil Estrera

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Thanks for liking my post Msuccess! Yes, it is frustrating not having the power to change everybody around you whom you care for. And I cannot even tell them that they are wrong 'cause I respect them that much. Maybe this is the best thing to do, to live away from them, just to avoid the conflicts which may get worse any time.
 

XoxChrissyxoX

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Jun 11, 2011
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That's a tough situation to be in. I live in an apartment with 5 other family members and it can be very frustrating sometimes. I have an aunt who steals and talks about people in the house. I have an uncle (the husband of that aunt) who refuses to get a job and has a million different excuses for why he can't take an opportunity when it comes along. Him and his wife just recently came into the country last summer. I think he refuses to work because living with us allows him to live freely without any financial responsibilities. My grandmother is another one. She had a history of spreading rumors about me and my mother. I don't understand it because my mother does everything for her, yet she has such negative things to say about her. My other uncle who lives with us is constantly wanting to throw parties when it's someone's birthday (small get-togethers). My mother never threw parties for her birthday but he started inviting people, but would never spend any money on anything even though he wanted to throw the party. My mother has had to buy drinks for her own birthday because he refused to contribute a dime to anything.

I can't really say much because I recently graduated and I'm currently looking for a job. I've found that the best thing to do since I have to live in close proximity with them is to stay to myself. The second uncle doesn't bother me as much as the first one that's married though. That one and his wife pretty much don't exist to me even though we live in the same house. I don't talk to them unless I absolutely have to.

I remember my mother used to say that the farther you are from family the more they love you. I think it's true. When you are too close and familiar with people you tend to clash. I notice this happens with the older members of my family. I could spend a really long time with my cousin and not get tired with her, or have any unnecessary drama.

I think if your family members aren't willing to heed your advice or appreciate everything that you do, you should try to move out on your own if that is at all possible. I know it is sometimes difficult though and you are forced to live in a less than desirable environment because you have no other choice.
 

AmazingP

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Family members and to an extent relatives are people that should be helping us bear the burden lighter and not to make things much worse. Your experience with your in-laws may not be something nice considering that you were just treated like a mute garbage and so getting away from them was the best solution. As to your sister, maybe it is time to face her and tell her pointblank of the burden she is causing you. She is already old enough and in fact has a child to support to -- she must learn to finally make it on her own. Of course, you would still be there as somebody to elan on but never to bear all the responsibilities she incurred. Tell her to become a member of this forum so that she could read this thread.
 

yurithebest1

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I usually find many difficulties on getting along with a lot of people who prejudge me before knowing me, because they usually build many ideas based just on what they have heard about me.
 

Cecil Estrera

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@Chrissy: Yeah, my husband and I were just thinking about that option. We just need to earn a bit more 'cause moving out means buying all the stuffs we need and giving down payments for the house. I know a good place nearby which might be the place where we will rent.

@AmazingP: Oh I'm afraid she won't join this kind of thing. She's just too busy with online games just like my other siblings that they won't give their time on other things. You know, sometimes I think if we would just help each other in making money online then maybe we would afford to pay all the bills here which really is the biggest problem here so far. Oh well, every time I bring this topic out, they would just pretend that they didn't hear a thing.