Ever felt insecure because of negative criticism?

Cecil Estrera

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2011
Messages
349
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Location
Philippines
I am a mom and I want to be the best one that I can. However, no matter how hard I tried my in-laws would never think that I am doing my role enough.

My first child had always been with them since they fetch him every now and then. And everytime they would see the child, they would compliment that he doesn't look as healthy as before that they were taking care of him. Though I give everything my child needs 'cause I don't want to see him look malnourished too. So what they do is have the kid stay there longer with them. What I do not like about that is even my husband's aunt would text me just to say negative things about my being a mother to my child. And my kid doesn't get closer to me 'cause he is always away. I can't even understand how my child behaves whenever he's here. I guess they spoil him too much.

Well all of that makes me feel worthless as a mom and every now and then I would feel insecure that I am not giving enough care and attention to them. Oh, I guess you just can't please everyone.

You, have you been criticized and then felt insecure?
 

zararina

Coaching Member
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Jun 29, 2011
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567
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I think it will be better to spend more time with your kid or let your kid spend more than with you rather than his grandparents. It will be just okay to let them take care of your child if they are not saying something to your child about you being an incompetent mother (i just assume that they are doing that, maybe the auntie). It will be harder for you to gain respect and love from your child if you will not do anything about it.
I can not remember i got insecure because someone had told me bad thing. I remember i got challenged, irritated or angry. ;)
 

diamondlisa

New Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2011
Messages
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I think it is important that you have your child spend more time with you so he can bond and learn your rules. If I were you, I would start out by talking to the grandparents and any other family member involved. You need to let them know that you are the child's mother and no one is more interested in his well being than yourself. Inform everyone that if they are going to talk negative about you in front of the child then you simply can not let him go to visit. As far as me being criticized to the point of feeling insecure, that has happened once in a bad relationship when I was younger. Once I got out of it, I soon realized that it wasn't me with the problem. Remember, you can be changed by what happens to you in life, but never become reduced by it.