Do you live in the past?

moneymakingmom

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Sometimes, when I think back over my life I can see missed opportunities and roads not taken.

And, I find myself speculating over whether I should have made other decisions.

Does this happen to you?

Do you live in the past, thinking how things were before and wishing you could go back and make changes?

Is this a healthy state for the mind?
 

MoreSuccess

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I sometimes do this. I don't know why poor decisions so long ago in my life keep haunting me, they will just pop into my mind at times for no particular reason. It's like I'm looking back into time at a totally different person and wondering how I could be like that. It doesn't happen that often fortunately, I believe life is lived in the moment so you have to focus on the "now".

Perhaps one problem is when we think about the past, we can have a tendency to recall the negative things rather than positive. One time when this was happening and I realized this, I stopped and thought about some of the wonderful things that happened, and it totally changed my perspective. It makes you realize your past is full of highs and lows, and what really matters is whether you used those experiences to make life better for you and the people you care about, and to grow spiritually if that is important to you.

Also, I think we often fail to realize that the road not taken which seems better, may in fact not be so.
 

iebo

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No, I don't live in my past. I've made some choices I'd rather change, but I can't. All I can do is start making the right choices right now. Its never too late to make a change in your life, unless you're dead. I think the only people who never make wrong choices are those who are too afraid to live life and so they always play it safe. I imagine that is a boring existence.
 

moneymakingmom

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One time when this was happening and I realized this, I stopped and thought about some of the wonderful things that happened, and it totally changed my perspective. It makes you realize your past is full of highs and lows, and what really matters is whether you used those experiences to make life better for you and the people you care about, and to grow spiritually if that is important to you.
You are so right about that. There are just as many highs as lows in every situation.
And, that sums it up perfectly. :)

In times past, when everything seemed so bleak as if there were no way out,
I was still surrounded by my loving family. We still had each other.

It helps to start counting blessings even more during the bad times and not just
wait until everything is perfect and the skies are clear.
 

moneymakingmom

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I think the only people who never make wrong choices are those who are too afraid to live life and so they always play it safe. I imagine that is a boring existence.
You can always choose a path and make minor adjustments as you go along,
from feedback received. Just recently, I was in a similar situation and had to make a
tough decision on moving forward. I didn't know which direction to go.

So I consulted my spouse and he suggested tossing a coin as a way to decide on which way to go, since both
directions seemed equally lucrative. And, then he said after starting in that chosen direction,
if things started working out you know that's the right way but if there are too many
obstacles then you can always go back and choose the other way.

That advice has served me very well since. I made the right choice in the first place and
I'm happy with my decision. Thankfully there are no regrets.
 

mslianne

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I used to dwell in the past so much.
I could have done this.
I never should have done that.
I usually blame myself for everything and I used to feel worthless.
But then my partner told me this: It's in the past - worrying about it will only make your chest hurt. Isn't it better to look forward and do so much more? Sure, you can learn from it, but being stuck in it will do you no good. :)
This is what I always think of whenever past thoughts haunt me.
 

moneymakingmom

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I used to dwell in the past so much.
I could have done this.
I never should have done that.
I usually blame myself for everything and I used to feel worthless.
When i was MUCH younger I lived my life that way too, second guessing myself at every turn and
wondering if I made the right choice and what could have been if i'd only chosen the other path.

Now I realize that I had too much time on my hands.

All that time could have been spent better getting a college degree.

It's still not too late for that.
 

speedy

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I always remembered the past especially the nightmare I had before. It always on my mind and bothered me a lot. But day by day I learned how to overcome them and if possible stop the regret because It doesn't help anyway. I had a lot of regrets in the past, like I should do better when I was in college but then, it was always a lesson and a memory. I am trying to help myself to do better for a brighter future.
 

mslianne

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When i was MUCH younger I lived my life that way too, second guessing myself at every turn and
wondering if I made the right choice and what could have been if i'd only chosen the other path.

Now I realize that I had too much time on my hands.

All that time could have been spent better getting a college degree.

It's still not too late for that.
Of course it's still not late for you to get a college degree! :)
It's so hard to doubt ourselves, so having someone to push you in the right direction is a big plus.
 

moneymakingmom

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I have been worried that maybe I'm too far along in life to get a degree that I should have gotten when I was twenty years old. I had every intention of getting a degree back then and even took some certificate courses. But, the degree never happened and the years slipped by. Never too late, as you say. I will give it a try. Thanks for the encouragement. We all need a helping hand sometime.
 

beingwell

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I take my experiences as my lessons in life. There is no point dwelling on the seemingly wrong decisions we took before. What's important is we now know what not to do given similar circumstances. Life is a playground. We laugh, we learn, we get hurt, we get back and we continue playing.
 

moneymakingmom

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I take my experiences as my lessons in life. There is no point dwelling on the seemingly wrong decisions we took before. What's important is we now know what not to do given similar circumstances. Life is a playground. We laugh, we learn, we get hurt, we get back and we continue playing.
I love your philosophy on life. It makes me smile. Just like a child we fall down and get up again, learning better each time how to stand strong in our own beliefs.
 

Regine Richter

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sometimes it happens to me too. I am nearing 50 now and sometimes I wonder how my life would be today if this or that would have turned out in another way than what it did.
Thinking about some lost chances because of these decisions, which were not necessarily stupid ones but had influence on other decisions aswell
Like saving up when I was young and started working for my mothers old age needs as I was told over and over that my mother was poor. (instead of getting me nice furniture for my first ented apartment or travelling a bit when I was younger and would have liked to see more places). Now my mother has gone and I sit here still with the money I saved up and could kick me in the pants as I am no more interested in travelling any more and the money now basically sits here.
But I found out something interesting now. When my mother died a few weeks ago it instantly was as if a huge backpack was taken from my shoulders. I didnt dwell in the emotional abuse she dragged me through almost all of my life but I am on the road to instant recovery so to say. Her death helped me to not be haunted any more.
 

moon

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I usually just leave my past behind but there are ofcourse chances that you somehow think about the things you regret or things that you have done in the past. I always try to think that even if you have experienced something bad in the past, you will not experience it again so let it be just your past and not your present.
 

JamJam

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I tried not to look the past and feel some regrets.
When I make mistakes, I consider it as an experience.
We all have regrets on our lives but we have a chance not to commit the same mistake again.
 

radascars

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Why didn't saw this thread of yours... :(

I honestly say I do live in my past every now and then, I always thought of my self way back 3 years ago and always ask my self "what if?" That made me realize that I still not fully moved on with my past failures and painful experience. I know that I'm still young but the fact that there's a lot of wasted opportunities that came to my life back there I just really hope that today, even if I can't accept all the things happened to me before, with all certainty will achieve success :)
 

Matt Maresca

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It happens all the time and is one of the most difficult things to get over. Many times I find myself trying to recreate the past, thinking that is better than the present alternative. In reality, though, I should just focus on creating a better future. Much healthier, much more powerful.
 

bright_light

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A wise person only looks back at the past to remember the lessons learned from it. Who doesn't have any regrets in life? But what has been done is done, and we should recognize the fact that we can not turn back the hands of time. Mistakes in the past should be accepted wholeheartedly, and never forget what they have taught us. And as we go forward, let us bring them with us in our journey, not as negative thoughts or feelings, but as guides to ponder on in the pursuit of real happiness.
 

Matt Maresca

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A wise person only looks back at the past to remember the lessons learned from it. Who doesn't have any regrets in life? But what has been done is done, and we should recognize the fact that we can not turn back the hands of time. Mistakes in the past should be accepted wholeheartedly, and never forget what they have taught us. And as we go forward, let us bring them with us in our journey, not as negative thoughts or feelings, but as guides to ponder on in the pursuit of real happiness.
Well said! Everything in the past has made us the person we are now, but it's the actions of the present that make the person we are to become.
 

radascars

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It happens all the time and is one of the most difficult things to get over. Many times I find myself trying to recreate the past, thinking that is better than the present alternative. In reality, though, I should just focus on creating a better future. Much healthier, much more powerful.
Yes you're right that's exactly the same thing I realize when I found my self thinking of my past. I guess its really part of human lives to recall the past in certain ways. :(