Can a relationship survive if one, or both of you have children from past relationships?

leemorrison3

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This question, I am sure, has haunted many a peaceful evening for many of us. With 1 in 3 marriages ending in divorce, the chances are that you have this family set-up, or know a couple with a step-son/daughter.

There is no doubt whatsoever that this can be (and often is) an extremely difficult situation. However, it is not necessarily an impossible one. The problem revolves around boundaries and rules, overcoming insecurities and lack of communication.

I feel that if both parties agree on boundaries and rules from the outset, and keep communicating honestly, this can be hugely beneficial. It is imperative that the couple present themselves as a united front. Additionally, it is important to treat their children equally.
 

calebmelvern

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I don't know any family in this situation. Usually, only one has a child/ren and the other has none. I also imagine that such a setup must be difficult. But as you said, communication is key. The age of the children is also a factor.
 

Manuel

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I think what is most important is that the stepfather or stepmother brings love and compassion to the children. Children need to grow up in an environment that feels save and loving!

I especially like your last sentence - I've seen people treating their stepchildren differently to their own and that can be devastating to the children.
 

leo

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This question, I am sure, has haunted many a peaceful evening for many of us. With 1 in 3 marriages ending in divorce, the chances are that you have this family set-up, or know a couple with a step-son/daughter.

There is no doubt whatsoever that this can be (and often is) an extremely difficult situation. However, it is not necessarily an impossible one. The problem revolves around boundaries and rules, overcoming insecurities and lack of communication.

I feel that if both parties agree on boundaries and rules from the outset, and keep communicating honestly, this can be hugely beneficial. It is imperative that the couple present themselves as a united front. Additionally, it is important to treat their children equally.


base on my experience my ex-girlfriend has 2 children ages 3 and 4 when we met, she'd been honest with me from the start about that thing.
we lived together for more than a month, but as times goes by i felt difficult about that kind of situation, even though i love her so much, there are times i thought to
my self that its hard bringing up children not your own blood.
 

Sam

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This question, I am sure, has haunted many a peaceful evening for many of us. With 1 in 3 marriages ending in divorce, the chances are that you have this family set-up, or know a couple with a step-son/daughter.

There is no doubt whatsoever that this can be (and often is) an extremely difficult situation. However, it is not necessarily an impossible one. The problem revolves around boundaries and rules, overcoming insecurities and lack of communication.

I feel that if both parties agree on boundaries and rules from the outset, and keep communicating honestly, this can be hugely beneficial. It is imperative that the couple present themselves as a united front. Additionally, it is important to treat their children equally.
Dear Leo,

I also think that culture and background of the individuals are also important factors to consider. I totally agree that honest communication between the couple will determine how healthy the relationship will be. Also, it is possible but the couple should watch out for verbal and non-verbal communications.

Sam.