Building Fulfilling Relationship

shane

Member
Joined
Apr 26, 2015
Messages
2
Points
5
I NEED MAJOR HELP / FEEDBACK

on how to actually build deep meaningful relationships.

I currently have none in my life. except for my girlfriend. but that is still recent.

HOW CAN I DEVELOP DEEPER RELATIONSHIP / BE A BETTER FRIEND / KEEP FRIENDS

any advice would be awesome, or books or resources.

Thank you so much!!
 

tomasoberg

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2014
Messages
208
Points
192
Location
Sweden
This is my way of thinking about this.

The most important relationship for me is with myself .
So my advice: Build one with yourself first.

Where can you improve your life?
Can you be more open minded? can you be more positive? Can you share more love? Can you improve your health?
Where can you use your knowledge more ? do you have any dreams ?

While you start to improve your relationship with yourself you will bump into people randomly during your normal day life if your open an social.
This people will be on the same level or higher then you are, I'm not saying you will meet them all the time.
When you do , you will know.

You will inspire each other and grow from each other in different ways, its a simple WIN-WIN relationships.
What are you searching for in a relationship? start with your hobbies? Or get a new hobbie? business ?

For me the last 2 years my relationships has developed through random conversations.
It has been older guys and ladies who probably see themselves or something in me that they want to help develop.

I have many different relationships.
Some of my Friends I only hang out with to have fun
Some of my friends I talk business with , babe, cars and dreams
Some of them I can really talk "deep" with
Some of them start of as mentors

And some relationships is all above .
 

shane

Member
Joined
Apr 26, 2015
Messages
2
Points
5
This is my way of thinking about this.

The most important relationship for me is with myself .
So my advice: Build one with yourself first.

Where can you improve your life?
Can you be more open minded? can you be more positive? Can you share more love? Can you improve your health?
Where can you use your knowledge more ? do you have any dreams ?

While you start to improve your relationship with yourself you will bump into people randomly during your normal day life if your open an social.
This people will be on the same level or higher then you are, I'm not saying you will meet them all the time.
When you do , you will know.

You will inspire each other and grow from each other in different ways, its a simple WIN-WIN relationships.
What are you searching for in a relationship? start with your hobbies? Or get a new hobbie? business ?

For me the last 2 years my relationships has developed through random conversations.
It has been older guys and ladies who probably see themselves or something in me that they want to help develop.

I have many different relationships.
Some of my Friends I only hang out with to have fun
Some of my friends I talk business with , babe, cars and dreams
Some of them I can really talk "deep" with
Some of them start of as mentors

And some relationships is all above .



Thats great advice man.

Thank you for that.

Seems like your saying build a better relationship with yourself, by growing in different areas.

And as you grow, like minded individuals will cross your path.

Sounds like something I can dive into.
 

tomasoberg

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2014
Messages
208
Points
192
Location
Sweden
Thats great advice man.

Thank you for that.

Seems like your saying build a better relationship with yourself, by growing in different areas.

And as you grow, like minded individuals will cross your path.

Sounds like something I can dive into.
No worries man, You got it! Bulls eye!
 

Danielki

Coaching Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2015
Messages
66
Points
82
Location
Norwich, UK
You need to be authentic but also be able to calibrate.

Authenticity is about being real, being true to yourself.

Calibration is about learning social cues, using your eyes and ears to see if the person you're in relationship with is responding well or not.

Character types people don't want to be around are:

Needy
Insecure
Complainers
Negative
Angry
Depressing

Character types people enjoy being around are:

Confident
Encouraging
Happy
Funny
Easy going
Outgoing
Authentic


A person who isn't great with relationships may say something like 'that's just how I am' and rationalise that being different wouldn't be authentic.

Being authentic simply means I do what I say and I am what I appear to be.

I'm very blessed to be able to connect with people in the way I've be gifted to but that wasn't always something that was apparent to start with.

If you want to grow in any area you've already reached the point where you realise you want something different, the next step is to look at what you're currently doing and see if it's getting you the results you want. If it isn't then comes the trial and error until you get it right.

You have to be prepared to lose people in order to gain them. Some people think friends are people who agree with everything you do or say but I prefer to have people around me who are willing to challenge me in areas they feel I need to be challenged and I in return challenge them.


I have a friend who is quite insecure and he said something once about what he thought I thought and made it big in his head and was making himself feel bad about it; so I said to him those are things that you're thinking about yourself and have nothing to do with me because I love you and would never think so poorly of you.

In your quest to build lasting friendships you might find that only a handful of people become your closest friends but they'll take a bullet for you and you'll do the same for them.

They won't be the people you think they'll be either but cherish them and like anyone who really cares for you they'll cherish you.

Sometimes the things we see as imperfections are the things that others grow to love the most about us.
 

Samantha

Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2016
Messages
16
Points
10
Agree 100% with a lot of the comments above. Focus inward and work on improving yourself. Either get an life adviser or someone you can trust to be very honest with you and take a look at where you have been at fault with regard to relationships with others. Perhaps too judgmental and didn't realize it, or unreliable in ways you didn't think were a big deal but were crucial to other people. Take a look at ways individuals treated you that you did not look and make sure that you are not doing the same things, which is very often the case.

Then work with someone to give yourself challenges and goals to better yourself and put yourself out there. Always happy to help if you need it, but regardless if you decide to go another route, I strongly encourage you if you are serious about bettering yourself and your relationships, get someone who is not emotionally attached to how you act to help you for real growth.
 

antony73

New Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2016
Messages
4
Points
3
Location
China
This takes time. Deep relationships take time.

My mind is that having a large pool of friends with a select few to be our close friends is a healthy balance.

Initiative and giving is a good place to start. Not only giving of your time, but your interest also. Start inviting others out for a dinner yourself. Don't wait to be invited, and make sure you pay for it also. Do it together with your girlfriend so as to be building relationships together. One to one relationships I'm sure will come out of that for both you and your girlfriend.

Take an interest in other people. You be the one asking all the questions, like, "So tell me, where did you two meet?" People worthy of friendship will respond in kind. But you take the initiative in taking and interest and asking questions.

Focus on the relationships that really matter to you, the relationships you'd like to see developing. Limit, or even cut off those relationships that over time pull you down. Pool your energy into positive relationships you see have good potential.

I'm not sure of your situation, but how about joining a group, a club, start your own focus group or men's group. Volunteer for an organisation that inspires you. Get around like minded people. Take a proactive role. If you're a charitable person, start with charities. If you're business minded, start with business associations and business dinners. Widen your circle, get connections then feel out the those with whom you connect with or would like to connect with.

A final thought; Our lives and personalities are greatly influenced by the people we associate with. So whoever you end up building fulfilling relationships with, make sure that they inspire you in positive and creative ways, people you genuinely admire, people who raise your bar.... And here lies the real key... Never stop educating yourself on being a better person, a more successful, creative, interesting, thoughtful, kind, loving and generous person, (and never stop working on becoming that person), so that you will eventually attract fulfilling relationships to yourself. Be that kind of person you would like to have a deep relationship with.

I've never read it, but the book, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' generally gets positive reviews.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

antony73

New Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2016
Messages
4
Points
3
Location
China
Just another thought to add to the above about educating yourself for relationships and being the kind of person that attracts deep, fulfilling relationships; get into a self-education program of a book a week, whether paperback or MP3 book. And DO what you learn. Write it down. Do a search on Amazon, browse the self-help section in your local book store. Buy books that will help you improve your own character as well as those books that help you to understand others and build better relationships.

You may want to start with Jim Rohn's, 'Live an Exceptional Life.'


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

Etheric Archives

Advisor Member
Joined
Mar 3, 2016
Messages
19
Points
47
Location
Cleveland, Ohio
When it comes to your relationships, think of it in terms of "creationship," meaning you create and share something meaningful with others. Most relationships nowadays seem more destructive because people focus on bonding over problems, complaints and general negativity. It's funny that you mention this because I recently wrote an article all about creating something more than a typical, surface-level relationship. This is more geared towards a romantic relationship, but can work for any other sort of relationship as well: http://www.ethericarchives.com/how-to-create-a-creationship/
 

aspecialist

Advisor Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2015
Messages
38
Points
38
You can be a better friend or partner to someone if you are true to yourself. You should first learn to love yourself before you can love others. Treat others the same way you'd want yourself to be treated. Moreover, be confident of who you are. Take time to learn more techniques of improving yourself by visiting various personality development web sites.
 

William Martinez

Advisor Member
Joined
Mar 25, 2015
Messages
17
Points
37
Location
NY
I love that your relationship is new, because that infatuation stage is wonderful, definately enjoy it while it lasts, just know that the relationship will go into that second stage, where now you know the deepest parts of eachother, and you may begin taking for granted that comfortability stage. At this stage it is important to remember to initiate understanding, at the times you most refuse to do so, initiate passion, at the times you are most not in the mood, and initiate love, at the times you've never felt more divided. Apply this to all your relationships, and not only will they flourish, but you'll find that new ones will blossom as well:) take care
 

Best_Catcher2016

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2016
Messages
104
Points
100
Location
philippines
Here are my list on HOW TO BOOST YOUR RELATIONSHIP
1. Try Something New
2. Show That You Care with the Small Things
3. Reinvent Date Night
4. Be Specific and Obvious by what Turns You On
5. Spice Up Your Sex Life
6. Flirt Like You’re a Teen
7. Discuss Your Future
8. Plan an Exciting Weekend Get Away
9. Surprise Him/Her at the office
10. Have Spontaneous Sex (More Frequently)

Read the full article at http://www.bestcatcher.com/happiness/10-ways-to-boost-your-relationship
Visit our website http://www.bestcatcher.com/