Breaking up

Jael

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Jun 8, 2019
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I just broke up with my boyfriend of about 8 months. I really liked him felt a good connection with him I met his mother and his daughter and he met my kids as well. Things seemed to be going really good. I trusted him, we live an hour away from each other so we didnt get to see each other as often as we wanted so communication was important. The issue came when I would text him and be having a conversation and in the middle of it he would disappear and leave me on read wohldnt hear back from him until late night sometimes he would text me back saying sorry he got really busy but it bothered me and I asked him instead of just ignoring me to tell me he would be busy but it continued it just seemed like he didnt really care that it bothered me. I tried to be patient and not complain but ultimately I broke up with him after getting fed up with no change. He was upset and just kind of let it go... but now I'm left feeling hurt and it bothers me so much and now it's all I think about it's like I want him to reach out to me and make things work and I know it wont happen the hard part for me is realizing he really never cared about me and it really hurt my self esteem I want to get passed this and I'm having a hard time. Any advice will help
 

MoreSuccess

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Good for you! It sounds to me like you did the right thing, that behavior is not normal or acceptable. You're lucky to get out after just 8 months. I knew several people who discovered problems only after their marriage, and ended up with ugly divorces.

Regarding hurting your self-esteem, most people act the way they do because of themselves, not because of the other person. If he didn't care about you, it's most likely because he has issues that has nothing to do with you at all. People are often good at hiding their personal issues or are in denial.

Perhaps what you're missing is not so much him specifically, rather missing being in a relationship. The best cure is to move on, get out with new people even if it means going to meetup.com groups to get out and make new friends. There's a lot of other good people out there, it just takes effort and patience to find them.
 

Jael

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Thank you! I appreciate your response it made me feel a little better because he was acting like I was crazy for expressing my feelings down playing the whole thing
 

MoreSuccess

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You're welcome. The other thing that might help is when something is bothering you, probe and ask yourself if it's thoughts or is it emotions. They don't necessarily align, e.g. your mind knows he's not a good thing for you but your emotions run loose on it anyway. If it's emotions, rather than try to avoid them, explore the feeling. Where is it in your body, what does it feel like, what is it. I got that concept from using the Headspace meditation app, seems to help put emotions in their place.
 

Rahul Kumar

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Mar 29, 2019
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Hi,
I saw your question about Break Up.
Everybody knows after being hurt it kills you inside, our mind stops working, and you like to spend your time alone.
I just recently wrote an article that answers your question. You might find it useful: https://4lifescoach.com/sad-love-quotes/
Let me know if it helps!
All the best,
Rahul Kumar