At what age should we be independent from our parents?

Cecil Estrera

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I started working when I was just 16 years old and I have been independent since then. I just visit them once in a while, especially when there is an occasion. However, my older siblings are still living with my mom now that they are still single.

I think as soon as my kids are responsible and mature enough, I will let go of them if they want to live independent from me. I will let them experience life and responsibility so that they will know that life is a challenge that everyone must conquer.

How about you?
 

zararina

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If I would have children, I think if I could still (and of course I will) support them for their college degrees, I would still want them to focus on their studies and finish college rather than work early. And then, they would have no reasons anymore not to become dependent and know to live by themselves since I will ensure they will grow up responsible.
 

clauemi

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I think it just depends on the situation. I mean definitely teach them responsibility and to be independent at an early age. If my kids were in college then maybe I could see them still living with me for financial help. But if they were just sitting around and no responsibilities I think I would kick them out myself LOL. I also have a younger brother who is already 23, never lived by himself, has never even thought about college and too many other issues that are my parents fault in part. I will never ever ever let my kids grow up to be useless.
 

amy005

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I think that when they are 18 is usually a good age to start living on their own. But I think that parenting is an ongoing thing. If my kids need me when they are in their 20s because they are in college and do not have any extra money then I will still help them financially. Even in their 30s. Although my only child is about 2 months old so I will not have to worry about this for a long time. Of course I will also continue to be their for my children emotionally, etc.
 

AmazingP

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Personally, as soon as the kid has already graduated from college or university and starting to earn his own living, then I will encourage the child to fly on his own and explore the whole world. Of course, it also depends on many factors because there are really some who still prefer to live with their parents for as long as they are not yet married yet -- and this situation is actually fine with me because living near with each other can have some advantages also. The point is that parents should never hinder plans of their kids to live apart from them -- and even encourage them to some point. :D
 

Yolanda

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It depends on the child, like a lot of people have already pointed out. I do believe that ones children are done with their studies and start earning money they can either chip in at home or look for their own place. Personally, I would put the money my kids would give me into a savings account so when they do move in on their own they have a fund for furniture and stuff. Sounds like a nice surprise ;-)
 

AmazingP

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It depends on the child, like a lot of people have already pointed out. I do believe that ones children are done with their studies and start earning money they can either chip in at home or look for their own place. Personally, I would put the money my kids would give me into a savings account so when they do move in on their own they have a fund for furniture and stuff. Sounds like a nice surprise ;-)
Your comment makes me smile. Why? Because my mother had done the same to me. I send her some money before on a regular basis but I was really surprised to learn later that not a single cent was taken from all the money I gave her. Years after, we used the money to buy a small rice farm. Compared to other parents who seem to have a spending curse, my mother and also my father are financially conservative folks which is really working so good for all of us. :D :D
 

Yolanda

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That's so nice to hear, AmazingP. I haven't given it much thought yet, but it sounds like this idea I had works well in real life. It does sound like a nice surprise and it can really help you when you start living on your own or start a business for example.
 

Cecil Estrera

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It depends on the child, like a lot of people have already pointed out. I do believe that ones children are done with their studies and start earning money they can either chip in at home or look for their own place. Personally, I would put the money my kids would give me into a savings account so when they do move in on their own they have a fund for furniture and stuff. Sounds like a nice surprise ;-)
Sounds like a brilliant idea for me too, Yolanda. I think that's the best thing we could do as parents to help our kids prepare for their future. They would be really delighted and touched by this, I am sure. So I think I will do this too, even if they are not earning yet on their own.
 

dors

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Though I only have a little son, yet I want to be ready to prepare him for the future. I will love him more as he grows,provide support, and teach him to become an independent individual. I want him to enjoy what life has to offer. When the time comes he decided to go on his own, I will set him free and discover the world by his own eyes and hands. I just hope only that he will separate from us only after he finished schooling then.
 

criticalthinking

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I guess it depends on the economy. If my kid can save money on furthering his education or save money from work to put a down payment on a house by living with me longer, then I think that makes a lot more sense than going into debt earlier, just to be independent. Of course, I insist that he be doing one of those things too, so he's not just sitting around the house getting older.
 

Sarah C.

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I think it can depend on the child. For most children I would say that by the time they have graduated high school, they should be able to live independently. I am not saying they have to, I am just saying they are mature enough that they could handle the responsibility.
 

suepat10

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A lot has to do with the child/family themselves but also a lot has to do with the culture of the country in which they live. I'm sure there are things that are acceptable in some countries that residents of others will think are terrible and vice versa.

My son is going to train to be a doctor (his choice) and then he will leave home at 40 years old and marry a girl I pick for him (my choice :D - joking!)
 

blackcapped

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I think a lot of this has to do with how you define dependent. I would love to claim that I financially dependent from my parents, and while I do not live at home and do not ask them for money, my dad still pays for my car insurance, and I am still covered under my mother medical insurance.
 

Jessi

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It really, really depends. I still lived at home through high school, but I was "independent" from my mom in the sense that I was working three jobs, taking care of my sister, going to high school and college both, etc. She no longer cared for me and the income I made was going into the household as well, although not specifically listed as a rent payment or anything. At the same age range, I would not expect my little sister to do the same thing because she's not ready for that.
 

digitalbrew

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The rule of thumb in our household would be once the child has found his/her first job and is capable of chipping in or living alone without relying on our mom, then he/she is considered independent. However, my brother is an exception to this rule as he accidentally got into trouble when he was 19. And 20+ years later, he is still reliant to my mom on some things that we cannot fully call him independent of her.
 
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I would say that it depends on the person and the family. Ideally, a person would go out on their own after getting a good education and a good job. Some people will leave even sooner. There are others who will stay at home longer. In some cultures, an individual remains home until the day comes that they get married. And, of course, there are some men and women who have health concerns and such that would require them to remain at home with parents.