Any advice to improve my self-esteem?

Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
4
Points
8
Does anyone have any advice on how to improve my self-esteem or how to see myself the way others do? People always tell me I am pretty, smart, etc. But for some reason I am always thinking I am not as pretty or as smart or as successful as the other people around me.
 

bryce12

New Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2012
Messages
1
Points
1
Location
New Jersey
I think you are low on self confidence. You need to look honestly at your positive and negative traits and focus on improving your life. Set realistic goals and work hard to achieve them. Do not listen to what everyone says, it will do more harm than good.
 

criticalthinking

New Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2012
Messages
3
Points
1
Everyone thinks that. You see someone and think they're better, happier, more successful, and you can guarantee they're looking around thinking the same thing about everyone else. :) If these thoughts are really bothering you, you could try some cognitive therapy exercises. Cognitive therapy has been proven to be very effective at reducing upsetting and negative thoughts. Basically, the exercises help you recognize and get rid of these thoughts instead of subconsciously believing them. I have a book called "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy," I know, cheesy title! However, it has really helped me, and there are many exercises you can do to help improve your view of yourself.
 

armony

New Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2012
Messages
2
Points
1
This may sound funny and ineffective but use affirmations; they will work. Right now it's negative self-talk that is played over and over in your mind concerning your beauty, intelligence level or success rate. You need to counteract this with positive self-talk. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, smart, intelligent, successful, bright, good, etc. and do this at least five minutes a day, everyday. After a day or two you will feel better and begin to believe it.
 

Danny Oberron

New Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2012
Messages
5
Points
3
Location
Australia
I learned there are too distinct aspects to growing self-esteem which helped me to grow self-esteem faster than I had before. First is by doing positive and constructive things and being proud of all my actions. The second was to solve my problems. I never let a sleeping dog lie and I'm constantly proactive about issues. Unresolved problems eat at our self-esteem like cancer. The satisfaction of solving one's own problems not only takes away the issue, it also builds satisfaction and confidence that future issues can also be resolved, thus reducing the fear of the unknown and what it may do.
 
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
4
Points
8
I like the idea of using affirmations, I have heard something like this before. I saw something on TV awhile back that said to think about the best qualities of yourself and then say them as you look in the mirror each morning. So I might say something like, "I a ma nice person. I am a creative person." Then I think they said you are to say something like, "I am a valuable person."
 
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
4
Points
8
I like the idea of using affirmations, I have heard something like this before. I saw something on TV awhile back that said to think about the best qualities of yourself and then say them as you look in the mirror each morning. So I might say something like, "I a ma nice person. I am a creative person." Then I think they said you are to say something like, "I am a valuable person."
 

AmazingP

Advisor Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2011
Messages
34
Points
28
Start to forget about other people and make a thorough focus on what you have and how you can improve yourself. Constantly comparing yourself with others and how they fare in life will result into mental paralysis or deadlock. Why? Because no matter what we do or how successful we can be, there will always be others who can better or higher than us. List down all the positive traits you possess and those that you think need some improvement and then more importantly make your plans into reality. Never be distracted by other people and change your thought pattern. :D
 

Sarah C.

Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2012
Messages
3
Points
8
I struggle with this too. Some good advice given to me, is pay attention to negative thoughts you are thinking about yourself. When they start to come, consciously tell yourself that you are a valuable, kind and loving person! You deserves good things. Give yourself a pep talk when you make a mistake, not a beatdown. Surround yourself with people that are mostly positive, especially when it comes to how they treat you.
 

zararina

Coaching Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2011
Messages
34
Points
80
Give more value or attention on good comments on you since you can use it to have more confidence. Do not let bad comments affects you specially if its coming from people who do not really knows the real you. Make use of your talents or good qualities.
 

Cecil Estrera

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2011
Messages
28
Points
18
Location
Philippines
I have had problems with my self-esteem in the past as well. Good thing I feel that I am improving on it now.

I think you just have to believe in yourself more. Then, be surrounded with people who sincerely love and care for you. Also, try not to be too hard on yourself whenever you have done a mistake. Believe me, it will get better soon. These tips worked for me. ;)
 

Steven Johnson

New Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2012
Messages
2
Points
1
Location
Washington DC metro
Does anyone have any advice on how to improve my self-esteem or how to see myself the way others do? People always tell me I am pretty, smart, etc. But for some reason I am always thinking I am not as pretty or as smart or as successful as the other people around me.
I would look at where youre self esteem problems come from because until you deal with the root issue you will always question yourself as to are you good enough. One thing I had to discover for myself is that life is not a competition. You're not competing against other people and the only thing that will hold you back from growing is how you feel about yourself. You have to know that you have been uniquely and wonderfully made by God. There is no one else in the world like you, thats why its pointless trying to compare yourself to someone else. Embrace your uniqueness and begin to value the beautiful person that you are. Then begin to discover your purpose, because its when you invest your time into that, that you will fill most fulfilled. Don't live on purpose live in it!
 
Joined
Mar 19, 2012
Messages
8
Points
6
Location
Raleigh, NC
Everything boils down to feelings. You've got to figure out how to create and sustain the good feelings, and to prune away the negative ones. You can always ask yourself, "How does this feel?" If it doesn't feel right, then you are doing something wrong--most likely thinking about things the wrong way. Typically, it is an issue of entertaining the wrong attitude and/or focusing on the wrong things. You can cure both of these detrimental issues by searching for things to be thankful for, and finding ways to express your gratitude for the GIFT of life and all its various blessings. This is a spiritual conversation, and until you get on that wavelength, you won't be at peace. Rumi said, "A pure heart is a spotless mirror through which the infinite good of the universe reflects." Always return to your own intention, your own assumptions, preconceived notions, biases, etc-- you are interpreting your surroundings in accord with your inner feelings. Make adjustments to your belief system, and everything will change in your life. Remember, the value of a belief (as William James pointed out) is in the effect it produces in your life. Nobody really "knows" what is true...although everyone acts like they know. However, you can definitely measure the impact that certain ways of thinking has on your life. Good luck my friend! Remember, everyone is worthy--and that includes you!
 

Woehrior

Member
Joined
Oct 7, 2014
Messages
4
Points
10
I think you should focus more on the little positive things that you have in life rather than what you don't find adequate. This will make you happier and in time you will see the beauty that you are made of