Another unplanned pregnancy - how to cope up in this kind of situation?

Cecil Estrera

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I already have two boys ages 3 and 2. I also have another one on the way which is due on October this year. All of them were unplanned and I don't want another child yet. Right now, I am on the stage where I still can't believe I am having another child again. But God gave them to me so I think all I can do is to accept them even if things will be harder.

For other parents here, have you experienced this as well? How do you cope up in this kind of situation?
 

clauemi

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I just try my best to stay positive. I think about the future and how it's my kids turns to have a beautiful life. I had my chance at doing things right and even if things did not turn out the way I planned them, my kids should not be affected by this. I think about how my kids made me a better person. Before I had them I really had no motivation to do the things I wanted and know that I have them, they gave me a kick in the butt and told me to get up off it. If you think about it, having kids makes women stronger. Because of them I have faith, I have goals, I have dreams.
 
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I am sure it is difficult to be pregnant with another unplanned child. I would try to remember that children are always a blessing and a miracle. I am not sure if you have a husband or partner, but if you do, I would talk to them about your feelings so that you can help each other prepare for the new arrival.
 

Melody

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Cecil, hello! I have three children myself all girls, my oldest is 7 and I had her when I was 17 years old so she was obviously unplanned and I got a lot of grief from family members. I next got pregnant when she was only 4 months old, and I thought to myself there was no way I could have another child at that time so regretably I decided to have A abortion, I have never regreted anything so much in my life then the day I chose to do that. My next pregnancy was when I was 21 Iwas at a good place at that time although technically she was not planned she was an amazing suprise and I was happy. With 4 months once again I was pregnant and although I did not want another child right away, I already had my hands full with the two I had. I was NOT having a abortion and I couldn't imagine carrying a baby for 9 months and then giving him/her up so obviously I kept her and I am so happy I did I can not imagine life without her she is such a joyful little girl. As of right now like I said I have 3 girls and am with their father same one for alomost 8 years now and regretably I have to say I might be pregnant right now I was on birth control ( The patch ) and I could not afford to get it for a entire month. Selfishly me and my partner continued to have sex unprotected and now I am thinking that I am. Lord if I am ofcourse I made my bed and I shall now lye in it but it is so not the right time. Me and my partner are not really having easy times in our relation ship I am also about to graduate college in a couple months and am looking forward to a career. I do want another child but atleast 3 years from now. Now is NOT the time so I can completley understand how you feel :). Advice I would give you is to keep your head up high and know that it will work out for the best. Question if it is not too personal are you with the father? Also do you have support from anyone?
 

Cecil Estrera

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To answer your questions guys, yes I am with my husband and luckily, he works hard everyday to support us. Unfortunately, he isn't earning enough to provide for us that's why I also need to work on my own.

I am a bit of perfectionist, and I want everything to fall into their proper places. Somehow, I am thinking of having another child, but not this year. Oh well, I guess I should just be more realistic since life is full of surprises, and yes, every child is a blessing. I just hope that this time, it would be a baby girl (I have two boys already). Thanks for all the replies! :)
 

clauemi

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To answer your questions guys, yes I am with my husband and luckily, he works hard everyday to support us. Unfortunately, he isn't earning enough to provide for us that's why I also need to work on my own.

I am a bit of perfectionist, and I want everything to fall into their proper places. Somehow, I am thinking of having another child, but not this year. Oh well, I guess I should just be more realistic since life is full of surprises, and yes, every child is a blessing. I just hope that this time, it would be a baby girl (I have two boys already). Thanks for all the replies! :)
I hope you get a girl too, any gender is a blessing. You just don't get to do a lot of things with boys that you can do with girls.
 

Cecil Estrera

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I hope you get a girl too, any gender is a blessing. You just don't get to do a lot of things with boys that you can do with girls.
You are definitely right, Clauemi. I've always wanted a baby girl ever since my first pregnancy.

By the way, according to my doctor my due date is on Oct 7, 2012 - which is also my mom's birthday. :)
 

clauemi

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You are definitely right, Clauemi. I've always wanted a baby girl ever since my first pregnancy.

By the way, according to my doctor my due date is on Oct 7, 2012 - which is also my mom's birthday. :)
That's awesome! You will have two special occasions, hopefully! I am crossing my fingers for you.
 

criticalthinking

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I already have two boys ages 3 and 2. I also have another one on the way which is due on October this year. All of them were unplanned and I don't want another child yet. Right now, I am on the stage where I still can't believe I am having another child again. But God gave them to me so I think all I can do is to accept them even if things will be harder.

For other parents here, have you experienced this as well? How do you cope up in this kind of situation?
Not to ask rude questions or anything, but since you posted the topic, are you using birth control? Three seems like a lot of unplanned pregnancies. Have you or your spouse thought about a more effective and permanent solution, such as tubal ligation or vasectomy? I mean, if you want to have kids, more power to you, but if each of these kids was a complete surprise, and you don't want to have more children after this, you should look into a more effective method of birth control.
 

Cecil Estrera

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Not to ask rude questions or anything, but since you posted the topic, are you using birth control? Three seems like a lot of unplanned pregnancies. Have you or your spouse thought about a more effective and permanent solution, such as tubal ligation or vasectomy? I mean, if you want to have kids, more power to you, but if each of these kids was a complete surprise, and you don't want to have more children after this, you should look into a more effective method of birth control.
I used to take pills and injectables but I stopped which was a big mistake on my part as I relied on the withdrawal method. :(

Oh well, I think three times are more than enough for me to learn a lesson. After this pregnancy, I sure will look for other ways of contraception. I won't want to see my kids suffer in the future just because I can't support them well.
 

Jessi

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If you're set on keeping it, then the best thing you can do is just breathe. Take a deep breath and ready yourself. Just think, when they're all a bit older, they'll be able to help take care of each other because they'll be closer in age, so your work load later may feel lighter. The first few years...until the last one is out of diapers...is going to be rough, but you can do it. :)
 

AmazingP

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Nothing to worry about unplanned pregnancy. This is just like winning a lottery -- you just have to look at it as another good blessing and once the baby is already out then it would be focus of joy and happiness. How we would wish that reality bites would not immediately get into the scene but life is really like that. Just enjoy the ride and savor the experience. Life is full of surprises as well as sacrifices -- be a good mother and you will be a big success. :D
 

criticalthinking

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I used to take pills and injectables but I stopped which was a big mistake on my part as I relied on the withdrawal method. :(

Oh well, I think three times are more than enough for me to learn a lesson. After this pregnancy, I sure will look for other ways of contraception. I won't want to see my kids suffer in the future just because I can't support them well.
Ooooh, that makes sense! Have you tried devices like the iud? Those are supposed to be really effective, and they don't require taking a pill. However, you shouldn't worry about your kids suffering. The main thing kids need is love and support, and you obviously plan to give them plenty of that. I'm sure it seems overwhelming, but I bet you'll do great! :)
 

Cecil Estrera

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Ooooh, that makes sense! Have you tried devices like the iud? Those are supposed to be really effective, and they don't require taking a pill. However, you shouldn't worry about your kids suffering. The main thing kids need is love and support, and you obviously plan to give them plenty of that. I'm sure it seems overwhelming, but I bet you'll do great! :)
Thanks for your words of encouragement. I am just worried that I will give less attention to my older kids when I get to deliver my third one. I am thinking of getting a nanny soon, I just hope that I will find someone that is reliable and trustworthy. That way, I could also work online more to be able to increase our household income together with my hubby's. :)
 

amy005

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My first and only pregnancy was unplanned. Although me and my fiancee have talked about kids a lot in the past and already had names picked out. Although the timing may not have been the best, I could not be happier to have my son in my life. I think sometimes God has other plans for us and does not make you take on more then you can handle. Kids are a blessing even when it can be stressful at times. I truly believe they better me and my life. But, if you really don't feel you can handle raising another child there is always adoption.
 

Daisiesndots

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I'm sorry that you are having these emotions, but I feel that they are normal. It was not planned so you are forced to once again buck it up and deal with it. It is a lot to handle since you did not have time to plan things out and I'm sure you would have waited otherwise but you are being wise about it. I would just tell you to keep your head up, you are strong enough to be a parent of 3 otherwise you would not be one. I believe that we are given only what we can handle. We may not see what the reason is now but I believe that everyone and everything is put in ours lives for a reason. Keep your head up.
 

Cecil Estrera

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My first and only pregnancy was unplanned. Although me and my fiancee have talked about kids a lot in the past and already had names picked out. Although the timing may not have been the best, I could not be happier to have my son in my life. I think sometimes God has other plans for us and does not make you take on more then you can handle. Kids are a blessing even when it can be stressful at times. I truly believe they better me and my life. But, if you really don't feel you can handle raising another child there is always adoption.
I agree that kids are blessings to us parents. That's why even though I don't know how to handle 3 kids yet, I would not give them up for adoption. I think we will get through this, if we would just work harder. I just hope that this will be my last pregnancy. :D
 
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I agree that kids are blessings to us parents. That's why even though I don't know how to handle 3 kids yet, I would not give them up for adoption. I think we will get through this, if we would just work harder. I just hope that this will be my last pregnancy. :D
I agree that kids are a blessing and they bring such joy into life. I think if you work together with your husband, you will figure out ways to increase your family's income or to cut down on some other expenses. You will find a way to make it work and then you can enjoy your three beautiful children once the third new bundle of joy arrives.
 

rose banks

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Unwanted pregnancy. It's not a an unfortune that happen to somebody. It's a blessing. At first the pregnant parent may feel down, but later on you will realize that it's really great to have children even if it's unplanned.