A woman’s place

kunda

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Times have changed. When I hear my granny talk about marriage in the olden days, and I look at the marriages of today it is clear things have changed. Most things have change for the better and benefiting women more. However, the benefits of marriage evolution have gone beyond their boundaries and have been a little to stretch.
A woman has a place within a marriage so does a man. A man cannot play a woman’s role, nor can a woman play a man’s role, although this happens due to the times we, are living in. The role I am talking about is headship. No matter, the status of a woman within a community, she has to know her place in her marriage and has to be subjective to her husband as her head. This does not mean that she has to be his slave or maid because they are best friends, lovers, each other’s number ones and have to treat each other with respect and care for each other.
All the fighting for women’s equality just doesn’t apply to marriage. If a woman tries to be her husband’s equal, or tries to be his head it only becomes the beginning of the end. The sooner women realize they can bossy any man in the world but their husbands the better for them.
 

IsabelleChan

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I have to disagree with you. First, things do not change to 'benefit' women more, we are just getting the rights that we deserve BUT are deprived of having due to patriarchy and gender inequality. Second, I don't think the benefits of marriage evolution have even TOUCHED the boundaries yet. Why do women have to be subjective to their husbands in a household? I can't see any legitimate reason to justify this phenomenon. Even if there is, they are solely constructed from a man's point of view and highly sexist. If a woman asks for equality in a marriage but get refused, I don't think she has met the right person yet. If a man values his dignity more than the rights of his significant other, I don't think this marriage is even worth rescuing. Well, the sooner men realize they can bossy any woman in the world but their wives sound much better to me.
 

digitalbrew

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All the fighting for women’s equality just doesn’t apply to marriage. If a woman tries to be her husband’s equal, or tries to be his head it only becomes the beginning of the end.
I am not sure if I will agree with you on this. I have been the prime decision maker between my beau and I for five years now and so far so good. Sure, we get into arguments but he knows and trusts my decisions when it comes to life changing situations and relationship related resolutions. I'm the more practical one while he's patient and understanding one which is probably the reason why I find myself lucky to have ended up with a great guy.

I've read this thread twice and I believe that both man and woman should know their places in a relationship. It takes two to tango. And if a man does not see the value of a woman's opinion and assumes she's just trying to relinquish his patriarchal control, then he might as well find a maid to take care of him.

But with all due respect, I am curious as to where you're from because we might not be putting into consideration culture. Like in my country, we had a similar belief systems but is now slowly evolving.
 

OhioTom76

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A man cannot play a woman’s role, nor can a woman play a man’s role, although this happens due to the times we, are living in. The role I am talking about is headship. No matter, the status of a woman within a community, she has to know her place in her marriage and has to be subjective to her husband as her head.
The dynamics in a relationship vary from couple to couple. That's a gross over generalization to say that all women must be subjective.
 

marlinealcott

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I would agree that a person has a place within a marriage and so does the other person. I think even calling it woman and man is degrading to relationships where both parties may be of the same gender.

Personally, I try and keep my relationship a little more traditional just because I feel that is what works for me. Certain traditions stick around because they work for many people. For example, my partner works a full time, traditional, mon-fri type job and brings in the majority of our income. I work a couple days a week out of the home, and a few more days a week writing online, but my schedule is far more leisurely than his. As a trade for me working less, I am responsible for most of the cooking and cleaning. I don't feel like I have to do that stuff because I am a female, but it's true that in our relationship, I am simply better at those things. I don't think my partner would EVER clean again if it wasn't for me. Sometimes I get really annoyed at him but most of the time I don't mind cleaning (cleaning is what I do for my two day a week job as well) because I'm good at it.

I'm sure in some couples, the roles are reversed. But usually, one party does more of the cooking/cleaning and the other does more of the work. This is how it's worked in a lot of relationships I've seen, anyway. I don't like the idea that everything should be 50/50. I don't want to work as much as my partner does and be responsible for half the bills!

My point is that traditional gender roles can be awesome as long as they work for the relationship.
 

rose banks

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Yes that's true in your marriage vows, it says that you should be submissive to your husband. Woman submit to your husband, husband, love your wife.
 
A

artistry

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Things have evolved between men and women. More women are out in the workplace, even if married, having their own careers, and trying to raise a family. So " a woman's place" has gone out the window in a way, they are finding their own independent way.
 

pafjlh

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Men are the main decision makers in a marriage? Who knew I sure didn't. The reason I say this is because one of the prime examples I had of marriage were my parents. In my opinion their marriage was more of a partnership. My father respected my mothers opinion and it wasn't like he was the head of the house. Yes, he did make some decisions where the running of the house was concerned, but he always consulted her as well.

For me this is what marriage is about. Two people working together as a partnership. Yes, in some cases one part of the duo may seem to make more of the decisions then the other about things, but that has more to do with who has the dominate personality. It also comes down the fact that the other part of the duo accepts this person as the decision maker. Its not always the male counterpart, sometimes its the female.
 

marlinealcott

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Yes that's true in your marriage vows, it says that you should be submissive to your husband. Woman submit to your husband, husband, love your wife.
Also--marriage vows differ from couple to couple. So how can you even say this?
 

betty blue

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I couldn`t believe what I was reading when I saw the first post on this thread! All I can say is, I don`t know ANYONE who has the sort of marriage you`ve described, thank goodness! What a relief you don`t speak for everyone- what about women on their own, bringing up children without a man?! Personally, when I met my husband he still lived with his parents, whereas I`d lived on my own for a while, working full-time, paying my own bills, and everything else that comes with running a household AND working! I`ve been married for 15 years now, and my husband is quite happy for me to take charge of bill-paying, sorting out utilities, etc! So don`t generalise, women have fought for equality for years, and looking at your post its still a long way off.
 

zararina

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I also do not agree about the "submissive" thing. :p
I believe more on the equality or partnership in a relationship. It was nice that there are men who are supportive on their women's career and not thinking they should be the boss.
 

TheBrit

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Can't say I agree with this initial thread. I appreciate in many countries these values hold good and both male and female parties are prepared to accept this situation.
However for Mr. & Mrs. Average in the UK to stand any chance of being able to buy their own home, afford a decent car or take the annual holiday abroad both parties have to work.
In many cases the wife will be the main bread-winner, both parties when home, especially if children are involved, will share to a large degree the running of the household. Compromise is the name of the game in almost all things. Generally, it is accepted without being mentioned that the male is still the "head of the household", even if just in name only.
A very wise old man once said, "I am master in my own home.......and what my wife says goes".
 

MyDigitalpoint

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This topic brought to my mind an old Gilbert O'Sullivan's song released just around the time the International Women Day would be declared, a song that brought too much debate that has worsened today because, who may believe that such place is the home.

Among such facts, these are remarkable:

  • The phrase "A woman's place is in the home" or its sentiments can be traced to the 5th Century BC when the Ancient Greek playwright Aeschylus wrote: "Let women stay at home and hold their peace".
  • Alas, times have changed. When this O'Sullivan composition was uploaded to YouTube, one viewer commented: "Why is this song so? upbeat and why does no one boo him?"
  • When O'Sullivan performed it at the UCL Bloomsbury Theatre, London, on April 26, 2004, he said: "Ever since I wrote this damn song, I've been beaten up so many times about it and I've loved every minute of it."
  • He added it might have been called "A Woman's Place Is On the Phone"' or as a backing singer had suggested "A Woman's Place Is On The Throne", though perhaps that should be reserved for Queen songs?
  • "A Woman's Place" was released as a single in the UK, August 9, 1974 on the MAM label backed by "Too Bad". It was produced by Gordon Mills and arranged by Johnnie Spence.
  • The song does appear to encompass the O'Sullivan philosophy; in 1980 he married his Norwegian girlfriend, Aase. They have two daughters, and lead a rather secluded life when he is not touring. (thanks, Alexander Baron - London, England, for above 3) Source: http://www.songfacts.com/
And this is the song in question:
 

Gina33

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I agree and disagree with you. I do think that men and women are different creatures. I think each has to understand that there are differences. Forget trying to unserstand all the differences. Man will never be woman and woman will never be man. We will never truly understand the opposite sex. I think men and women both have weaknesses and strengths. I think the man and the woman have to be responsible for identifying their own and each others strengths and weaknesses so they can build a team together.

With that said. I do wish I could just be a stay at home mom. I would gladly give my man all the respect and pampering in the world if he could afford to make that happen. In today's world, you kind of have to go with it. That means two parent income, and bye bye stay at home moms.