A thread about me

flybird

Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2019
Messages
4
Points
8
Hi. Call me flybird

Why am I here?

For a while I have been looking for a forum to engage in conversations about life and self-improvement. Dreaming and needing to accomplish has always been deeply embedded in me since I was very young. This led me to question the quality of my life very early in my currently 22 year old life. Unfortunately even at 22, the friends I have around me rarely ever bite into the reflective self-improvement apple. This made me long for a place where I can express ideas that I read about and learn from other peoples experiences!

Who am I?

I recently moved to a new town and started at university. I am studying IT Product Development at Aarhus University, Denmark, which anybody who is remotely close to me can tell is my dream-education. I like running (althought I currently deal with knee injury) and deeply love loudspeakers. I've lived a somewhat isolated childhood since my parents got divorced when I was just a little kid. This resulted in me getting addicted to playing computer-games. Fortunately, I fell for a particular game that taught me everything I currently know about technology and IT, which is why my current education kind of started when I was just a kid! Besides this I don't have a very good relationship with my family, and have a tendency of forgetting to keep my close friends close.

Where am I going?

I dream about being a true master of the designing and execution of products. Alongside I dream about giving speeches that are deeply mesmerizing.

What am I doing?

I am in the midst of reading High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard, but I have stopped mid way to actually try and implement the habits
I would love to keep running, but cannot due to a knee-injury. I can clearly feel that I am missing this part in my life.
I try to adjust most of my free time to activities that is somewhat related to my goals.
I meditate 20 minutes a day -> This makes me see clear in the water, as explained by David Foster Wallace
I don't watch series or movies (Perhaps a movie every 1-2 week)
Minimized drinking to once a month (Incredible for a student)
Not attached to social-media (Although I do watch a lot of youtube. 75% is still goal related)

What I should be better at

Taking breaks (Findng a joyful hobby)

Currently I try to direct almost all of my time to progressing, but I feel this is wearing me down. At the same time I feel guilt about "skipping" learning or I find myself looking for ways to get back to learning. This is way too much I know. I need something that brings me away from school and all. (I have considered starting in a choir - I have previously sung a lot)

Build a couple of close relationships
I have several friends in town, but I should focus a bit more on building a couple of close relationships to have something I truly enjoy doing during free time.

Find alternatives for the weeknd
The youth is drowning in alcohol and I hate myself the day after when I've ruined my sleeping-pattern and health from drinking. Frankly this makes it hard to find stuff to do during weekends. I know that I can be sober at parties, but I find that I struggle to have my high energy levels, when I'm pretty tired after a long week. I do plan stuff with my friends, but often end up with no plans on Saturdays, when I should actually just be out having fun.



So that is me. I put this down mostly for my own sake, but if you have any comments, suggestions etc. Please let me know!
 

Joe1776

Coaching Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2013
Messages
88
Points
80
Location
Washington DC
In my opinion, in your post, you omitted the most important goal of personal development. Making moral progress, becoming a better human being, ought to be your primary goal. Our brains, specifically the pain-pleasure function, decide that for us.

When we intentionally harm innocent people, we are later nagged with guilt. When we treat others with kindness, we feel good about it. Using reward and punishment, our brains are training us to become better people. If you make significant moral progress over your lifetime, your brain will reward your achievement with increasing contentment.
 
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flybird

Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2019
Messages
4
Points
8
In my opinion, in your post, you omitted the most important goal of personal development. Making moral progress, becoming a better human being, ought to be your primary goal. Our brains, specifically the pain-pleasure function, decide that for us.

When we intentionally harm innocent people, we are later nagged with guilt. When we treat others with kindness, we feel good about it. Using reward and punishment, our brains are training us to become better people. If you make significant moral progress over your lifetime, your brain will reward your achievement with increasing contentment.
Thanks for the input. It is truly an important goal that I omitted. The written goals are more career-related - But after thinking about it, I see that all goals are intertwined. I have compressed my goals into two words (Which are actually in danish, but this is the translation) Move & Matter.

The movement is a combination of the practice of good health, and that I should keep moving myself towards a set of goals. Matter is the other one and it is strongly related to making moral progress. Matter, for me, means positively influencing the people around me. This also includes making an impact on them. Especially at my age I realise many of my friends are somewhat spending a lot of time doing unproductive tasks, and they admire my ability to work on my skills at such a high-level. Which I am grateful for.

I will take some time to consider the ways in which I can analyze myself and put more focus on becoming a truly better human being. I sincerely agree that in the end, any amount of skill won't matter, if I am not likeable and not contributing to the greater good
 

Autologie

Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
15
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Location
Italy/Deutschland
Your story is interessing, i live in germany, near dusseldorf, so i'm pretty close to you, and people here have the same mentallity. It is really rare to find someone interessed in self-development, but thanks to internet we have this forum where we can get in touch together. I'm older than you actually (28) and if you don't mind the best advice that i can give you is "Be true to yourself and your main objectives". When you start to grow as a human being you start knowing yourself better and that is the key to understand what we want and where we are going. Once you've done that, stick to your goals, don't stop 'cause of others (as i said "be true to yourself) and in the end of the road you gonnna make it ;)
 

flybird

Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2019
Messages
4
Points
8
"Be true to yourself and your main objectives". When you start to grow as a human being you start knowing yourself better and that is the key to understand what we want and where we are going
Thank you very much for your input. This response made me think ... a lot.

I'm pretty stern with my academic goals. I'm on a rock solid path and I literally just have to follow it and find additional interesting information at the same time!

But I still regularly find myself regretting things. Looking at life from a different perspective. And this make me long for so many things, which are basically unobtainable for me. What I really lack is being happy with what I have. Appreciate my improvement and my surroundings.

I think this is related to both a recent move (Where I left a lot of friends) and also the fact that I can't exercise for much with my knee. I haven't been running for long, but when I do, I feel inspired and I don't long for things. I dream about things whilst accepting that they don't have to become goals. This ables me to focus on school and friends, who are right in front of me.

To sum up
Academically I am pretty settled, but still find myself doubting some choices I've made. When it comes to myself. I think I have to dedicate some more time on listening to myself. Be more aware. It'll take some serious shower-thinking to improve that area! But eventually I get there.

I believe in a better future. That I must.