Sep 26, 2015
Manila, Philippines
So very recently, incredibly out of the blue, the guy i literally thought could be the one ended it with me ( as cliche as that sounds i know). Right now i literally feel so depressed and cannot stop thinking about him, which literally brings me to tears each time. I was wondering if anybody had suggestions of ow to get over this. Quickly. I think the main points that keep dragging me down are the following:
I don't think I've ever connected with anybody else that deeply before, so i literally feel like i will never be able to find somebody else that even comes close to replacing him
I'm incredibly introverted so also the thought of moving on now, finding new friends, and/ or a partner feels horrifying to me. I have very few friends at the moment (I'm english, living in belgium, so all my friends and family are back home).
I just can't get over thinking about him, good or bad. i just feel like i still constantly want to check his Facebook, etc. etc. and just everything seems to remind me of him, or just when i start to think of something new, he will come back into mind. The more i try to avoid this compulsive thinking,t he more it seems to haunt me.

i just want to get on track now, better myself, and develop myself into a better person than i ever was with him. Please help.

I want you to go on. We cannot change the hands of time but we can do is to not let it happen again into our lives.
Now get a pen and answer it for yourself:
1. What did you contribute to the problem that leads to break up? (I know he has responsibilities but admitting you have mistakes will help you to move on)
2. From above, what have you learned from the past relationship? (It is said that in a rock bottom situations we aren't failed unless we failed to learn)
3. After you learn, what are you going to do NOW? (Actions will be the most contributing factor)
4. What things do you really love about you? (Once you start to love yourself, even a boyfriend isn't required to make you "feel loved" because you only need you as a companion)
5. If you really loved yourself, will you let him come back when he wants? (Damage had been done, now if you really love yourself, I want you to decide NOW!)



Jul 3, 2015
London, UK
Hi Helen

I am sorry to hear about your situation.

My advice would be to keep yourself occupied, do lots of reading and exercise! Work your mind and your body. Time heals all, as they say!

He sounds like an arse for what he's done, and you deserve better.

You're going to focus on you, and what you want to achieve. If it helps, use him as motivation to improve your life, habits, and achieve something special.

You'll soon realise that your relationship with him wasn't meant to be, you enjoyed it, and you have good memories and lessons to take away from it.

Ps. You're a very attractive girl and it's his loss!

MacKenzie Ziegler

New Member
Sep 25, 2015
Denver, CO
Hi there,

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. It is always difficult, regardless of whether we want it or not. In fact I was on the other side of a recent break-up, being the one who actually initiated it, and I still felt very similar to the way you had described above. Constantly stalking his facebook, thinking I made a mistake, feeling completely lost without him, and every single little thing putting me into tears. Pretty sure I haven't felt that kind of sadness in a very long time... I think one of the most important things you can do for yourself right now is to allow yourself to have those feelings and to feel those feelings. They are inevitable and you must get through them in order to move on. If you try to resist them or pretend they do not exist they will only continue, and oftentimes continue even stronger (as it sounds like you have already been experiencing). Allow yourself to be with those feelings and maybe go ahead and do some self discovery around some the questions that Carlo suggested above. Also, give yourself time...you don't need another man tomorrow, and you don't need to feel better tomorrow. It's okay to go through this time with some tears and heartache...when you're ready you will emerge stronger than before on the other side. In the meantime try to get out and do what makes you feel good. Take a walk daily, pamper yourself, get clear on what you want out of your next relationship and invest in some self love and development.

You are a powerful being and can have all you desire. Have faith that there is something better for you, something that was truly meant for you, making it's way to you now. This experience is just preparing you to receive that greatness.