It was the day after my friend lost his job. He is a brilliant guy, and I still don't understand how someone with his quality can lose his job. I was with him and his colleague from his previous company at a small restaurant in the downtown area.
"I failed", said my friend, watching people through the restaurant's windows.
"No, you didn't", was my comment. "You just lost the opportunity to work for this company, but you still have the opportunity to work for others. You are capable of doing any job in your area of expertise, but you need to accept that losing one job has nothing to do with failing".
"What creates our results as success or failure? Do we know how everything `works'? asked my friend.
"Well, that's pretty tough question for me to answer", added his colleague.
"I have learned something related to your question. This is not a clarification of why you lost your job. It is an explanation of how we create our core belief system. I can tell you what I learned," I replied.
When I got "Go ahead", from my guys, I had to say this: The question was: "What creates our results?" As we know, a result can be positive or negative. Even a negative result is still a result, because we learned the hard way that something simply.doesn't work.
A result is a product of our actions. Only well prepared actions lead to success and positive results. Talking about actions, timing is very important. If actions were done on time we can expect a good result. Unfortunately, sometimes people are too late or too early for some actions, and there is no positive result.
Who is in charge of our actions? To answer to this question, I need to explain it with: "It depends on our feelings". Our feelings determine our actions and our feelings are very complicated. Actually, our feelings are our frame of mind. Our feelings come from our attitude. How we see and think or how we feel something in our life is very personal, and depends on many things. For the same event different people feel differently, and that's okay, but our actions depend on it. Different attitude (thoughts and feelings) - different actions!
There is one very important thing to understand: our feelings are a direct result of our thoughts. Why are people saying "attitude is everything"? Because, our attitude will determine how we interpret any event in our life. Our interpretation of the event is crucial. As Dr. Karl Menninger explained: "Attitude is more important than facts". Further, any decision we make, is direct result of our attitude. Even if you like, or don't like yourself, it's result of your attitude. Yes, `attitude is everything'.
"Wait a minute", said one of my friends. "If attitude is everything, we've got the answer to the question: `What creates results'. It's an attitude?"
"Very close, but we still need to explain what creates attitude, and finally see what's at the very beginning," I responded.
"As I said, attitude is very important, but we need to understand that our attitude is result of our system of beliefs. Our system of beliefs, generally speaking, is our life's experience. If our experience of any event, or any person, or even experience about ourselves is good, our core belief about it will be good. If our experience is bad, our core belief about it will be equally bad, and that's... the problem!
It's the problem because: if our core belief about an event or person is negative, no matter how things turn out, we are likely to put a negative spin on an event or person. Yes, attitude is everything, but it depends on our personal belief system.
Our whole life experience is actually a process of programming. Programming starts in childhood. Whatever we saw, heard and learned from our parents, peers and teachers, is simply a process of programming of our core belief system".
"Hold on for a second", said my friend. "There are so many things here to remember. Put everything in a couple of sentences, please, for better understanding. Can you make any summary?"
"Here is a summary: Our success or failure, system of belief and attitude is a direct result of the process of programming in the early stage of childhood. As a result of all these stages we`ll take appropriate action. The actions will produce results".
To the friend of mine who just lost his job I must say: Don't mix this explanation with your current situation. Try to keep your attitude on the `high level' and trust in your own abilities. I am sure your attitude will help you to find another job.
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