I found my girlfriend on a prostitution website

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by thedarkone1990, Jan 23, 2017. Replies: 3 | Views: 460

  1. thedarkone1990

    thedarkone1990 New Member

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    I did a background check on a hunch, and I found my girlfriend on myredbook. Which was a website dedicated to prostitution and escorts. Its no longer active, but using the wayback machine I was able to see a lot of her ads and reviews dating from 2007 to 2013.

    She claims that she only did Girlfriend Experience stuff (dates, dinners, parties, hanging out). However many of her ads specifically offer Non-GFE and even PSE (Porn Star Experience), which is the service to perform sex in a way to be like porn.

    She also had a lot of graphic reviews left about how well she did sexual things and more along those lines.

    When confronted with this she denied that she did anything sexual with guys like that. She claims that she doesn't know why its all there and that she never did it. According to her all she ever did with guys from that site is GFE stuff because they were lonely and they just hung out. She also says that she was the one who managed her profile on their and that she hired someone to manage it, and that she didn't know how explicit her ads were or what they offered. She also claims that the reviews are fake, but there are dozens and dozens of them all matching up to the dates of her ad listings offer PSE and Non-GFE. Along with lines like "I can be your perfect little girl next door or your dirty little slut".

    These graphic listings and reviews stopped somewhere around late 2011 and from there forward the reviews and ads were more in line with what I think a GFE would show as. The reviews became things along the lines of "She was very sweet and a fine young lady" "A wonderful time with a classy girl" etc, and there were also reviews left by guys who obviously expected sex/etc, but were turned down.

    I am assuming that what happened is that she suddenly just became ashamed of sex for hire, and tried to change it to just an classy escort thing. She is very closed off sexually with me and says that she needs to "get more used to me" and that she needs to be really close to a guy to do more things than just me on top missionary. One of the things she is against until such time that she is more "comfortable" is oral sex. However a good number (more than half) of the explicit reviews of her on this website were about her oral sex expertise. Some of which go into more graphic detail.

    Would you believe her? That this was all fake and that it was just guys lying about her? Why then are there almost 5 years of good reviews about her explicit sexual activity? If she was really only trying to do GFE things why would he ads say different? If she didn't know her ads were explicit why would she then have good reviews at the same time as the ads? And explicit reviews?

    I want to let this go, but it is eating me up. I wouldn't care at all if she was honest about it, and it was all on the table. I don't judge her for it, but the way it is now makes me feel terrible. That I am being lied to, and that she is representing herself to me as something that she is not if these things are true.
     


  2. Ongoinggrowing

    Ongoinggrowing Member

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    Hello DarkKone!

    I would try to step in her shoes for a minute, she is probably very ashamed of what she did and she may had felt she had little choice at the time. Something bad may even have happened with one of her client, who knows.

    If you confront her, she will close up indeed. She will feel attacked, she didn't had a warning or it is likely uncomfortable for her.

    I understand that it is confronting and scary to find out that about your partner but she probably feel a lot worst about it than you do and for a lot longer.

    I don't know her but she might need support, acceptance and understanding on such a hard topic and what she felt you did was probably judgments and asking for explanations. She won't open up if she is feeling judged for example.

    I wrote today an article about 6 keys of relantionship and Communication is part of it if you want to have a look: http://ongoinggrowing.com/6-keys-to-bring-your-love-relationship-to-the-next-level/

    Good luck man, it is never easy!
     
    Paul G likes this.
  3. Paul G

    Paul G New Member

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    Wow, that really is tough to find out. I guess a lot if it will come down to how long you have been together, how much of a journey you have been on, and whether you can see a future together. As the comment above says, communication is key. Don't be too pushy, but you both need to be able to discuss this maturely, with time and no pressure, as you will both have deep feelings. Good luck!
     
  4. dave

    dave New Member

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    That's incredibly difficult to find out in that sort of way. I'm not sure if you're still with her, but felt compelled to give you a little insight into my recent findings on prostitution and trafficking. I'll say this, if you love her and want to stay with her, then be prepared to probably walk through some incredibly difficult stuff with her.
    Prostitution isn't what most people think. Upwards of 90% of prostitutes never set out to sell sex. Most don't even make money- pimps keep 100% of the profits! Most prostitution is sex trafficking. Human trafficking is modern-day slavery and involves the use of force, fraud, or coercion to obtain some type of labor or commercial sex act.
    Now 2 things you're dealing with. Most victims of sex trafficking were sexually abused as children upwards up 80%. Most likely, your girlfriend is dealing with a history and repressed memories of extreme abuse. Secondly, in order to even participate in much "prostitution," victims must escape the situation through taking their mind somewhere else. She might literally have no memory of the times she was raped as a victim of human trafficking. I recommend doing more research and your gf to see a therapist. There are also lots of online resources.
     

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