Doing the Right Things
Do the right things and the right things will happen
Life is not meant to be complicated. It is
straightforward. It's simply a matter of doing the right things. And
when we do so, the right things will happen. The reward for doing the
right things is success, happiness, and fulfillment. But when we do
the wrong things, we reap failure, misery, and regret. So, what are
the wrong things? The list below is enough to get you started. After
going through it, you will quickly think of other things to add to the
list. Just think of the right things as the things that work, and the
wrong things as the things (actions) that don't work. If what you are
doing is bringing you closer to your goals and dreams, you are doing
the right things. On the other hand, if success is no where in sight,
you are unhappy, and you are feeling frustrated, they are signs that
you are doing the wrong things. Now is a good time to take stock of
your actions and ask yourself whether you're doing the right or wrong
things.
THE WRONG THINGS:
1. Denial. The first step in
overcoming a problem is to admit that we have one. Most of us are
imperfect and have a problem or two in one or more areas of life.
Here's a simple test. If you're unhappy, you're doing something wrong.
If that describes you, try to find out what you are doing wrong and
correct the situation.
2. Unwilling to work at it. I have
heard many people say, "Self- help books and self-improvement programs
don't work for me." Then I have to explain, "Self-help books and
programs are not supposed to work, YOU are supposed to work! Just
carry out the exercises you have learned and practice them for 15 ~ 20
minutes a day. If you were to do so, it is impossible not to improve."
How do they know the books and programs don't work when they don't
practice what is taught?
3. Looking for the easy way instead of the
right way. The only short cut to success is hard work. Hard
work may not come naturally, but we have the capacity to develop
self-discipline, which is an essential skill. Self-discipline is
nothing less than the freedom to reach our dreams. When viewed in that
light, its importance should become clear.
4. Ignoring the warning signs.
Unhappiness and the failure to reach our goals are warning signs. The
pain brought on by these predicaments is life's way of screaming at
us, "What you are doing isn't working. Try doing things differently."
Yet, rather than heed the warning signs, some prefer to blame their
problems on "bad luck." Others claim they are victims of circumstances
or fate. The reality is they are victims of their own negative
thoughts and beliefs. How much better it is to be the beneficiary of
one's own positive thoughts.
5. Failure to plan. When we fail to plan, we
plan to fail. We can't just wait for things to happen. We
have to make them happen. And we do so by carefully planning and
taking the appropriate steps. It's time to stop brooding and whining
and start planning for success. It's time to ask ourselves, "What do I
want? Why do I want it? Why don't I already have what I want? What am
I doing wrong? What steps do I have to take and in what order? When
will I begin? What obstacles am I likely to encounter and how will I
overcome them?"
6. Failure to take responsibility.
What happens to us is the results of our own actions or inaction. We
can blame others or circumstances if we want, but that doesn't help at
all. Rather than do something about their problems, some stand around
waiting to be rescued by others. They wait for a knight in shining
armor to save them, but they wait in vain. Far better to depend on
yourself.
7. Trying to do as little as possible
instead of as much as possible. Some avoid work as if it were
a disease. But when we do as little as possible, we learn and progress
as little as possible. This leads to frustration, stress, loss of
energy, and less ambition. In other words, we find ourselves in a
downward spiral. But when we work as much as possible, we make rapid
progress, experience pride, self-respect, and the joy of reaping the
rewards that follow a job well done.
8. Failure to apply what we learn.
A meal provides no nutrients unless we eat it. Similarly, books,
articles, and advice provide no help unless we integrate into our
lives what we've learned.
Neglecting to apply what we've learned is the same
as not learning it.
9. Failure to regularly monitor one's
progress. How can we correct our course unless we know where
we're going? We need to regularly survey our progress. Are we on
course or are we drifting off course? Why leave things to chance when
we can monitor our results and make corrections as needed? Also,
discovering our mistakes early allows us to learn from them and to nip
failure in the bud.
10. Giving up too early. Temporary
setbacks become failures only if we stop in our tracks. But if we make
it our policy to refuse to give up until we reach our destination,
we'll never fail.
11. Failure to get along with others.
Some believe they live in a hostile world, so they act in a hostile
manner, alienating others. But those who believe they live in a
friendly world trust and support others. As a consequence, they
receive trust and support from everyone they deal with. What is your
opinion? Do you believe you live in a friendly or hostile world? It
doesn't matter whether your opinion is right or wrong. What matters is
whether your opinion works for you or not. Positive thinkers believe
we live in a friendly world, so they get along with others and become
successful. In a word, what they are doing works.
12. Failure to be flexible and adaptable.
We can tell life where we want to go and what we want to do, but it
may have better plans for us, so we have to be willing to change our
route to success. If we remain inflexible, stubbornly sticking to a
personal goal, we may not recognize a golden opportunity when it
appears. For example, I may decide I want to become a famous writer,
but life may want me to become a great teacher. As long as I remain
flexible, when a teaching opportunity arrives, I will be able to
consider it. Besides, my ultimate goal is for success, and either
writing or teaching can get me there.
13. A belief that they already know it all
or know more than others. When we think we know more than
others, we're not interested in hearing what they have to say and grow
deaf to the wisdom offered by others in casual conversations. To
benefit the most from life, not only should we carefully listen to
what others have to say, but we should be willing to be changed by
what we hear. On several occasions, my life was dramatically changed
by the words of ordinary people.
14. Lack of commitment. A dream
without commitment is no more than a wish. But when we are committed,
we are willing to do whatever it takes to succeed. We may have to
reach deep, down inside to find it, but commitment is part of the
inner resources of all. Just as we may be unaware of vast reserves of
oil lying beneath the soil we stand on, many are ignorant of their
reserves of commitment. All we have to do is drill down to tap into
it, and once it gushes forth, there won't be anything we cannot do!
15. Looking backward instead of forward.
True, some of us were dealt nasty blows in the past.
Insurmountable obstacles may have blocked our way. But that was the
past. Now it is time to move forward. It is time to plan and prepare
for the future. It is time to focus on what we want instead of what we
don't want; time to focus on what we have instead of what we lack, and
time to focus on solutions instead of excuses.
Your life is a precious gift. What do you plan to do
with it? You won't have to worry if you do the right things, for then
the right things will happen to you.
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